Rentoid’s Revenge | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/08/22(Sat)12:23:50 No.70505965 >be me >renter >contract has fixed rent which also includes electricity for a two year lease >cost of energy starts going up >no one in the building cares about reducing their use >landlord cant kick any of us out because none of us are breaking any contract rules, and he cant raise the rent because of the cap he set in place in our contracts >mfw he put a donation box in the lobby 68 KB JPG : Anonymous >>70505965 (OP) # I hope you live somewhere that forces banks to respect rental contracts after taking possession through foreclosure. 10/08/22(Sat)12:35:00 No.70506059 pizza delivery anon >electricity included in rent payment >mine bitcoin 10/08/22(Sat)13:11:36 No.70506448

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon experience the Canadian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)12:06:10 No.171987547 >Um, I'm sorry, did you just confuse me for an AMERICAN? Excuse me, I'll have you know I'm CANADIAN. We are nothing like those racist, gun totting Trumpophiles. Canada is actually more culturally similar to France than anything. Did you know we have Tim Hortons and FREE healthcare? Anonymous >>171987547 (OP) thats right though 10/08/22(Sat) 12:07:35 No.171987610 canadians are far more humans than americans althought still not that much against actual europeans being anglos and such Anonymous >>171987752 Canadians unironically do talk like this and I am not even memeing. 10/08/22(Sat)12:13:00 No.171987819

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Anon finds ‘the one’ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 10/07/22 (Fri)11:09:15 No.886912133 >be me >finally got a gf a few months ago >be yesterday >take gf to have dinner at my childhood house >excited for her to meet my parents >friendly greetings ensue >I show her around while my parents finish preparing dinner >show her my room >big bins of legos, shelves of built lego sets, and anime figures >"Wow anon, your parents bought you alot of toys when you were little" >remember "be yourself" dating meme >tell her that I actually bought all of them after I moved out >explain that I moved them out of my apartment and stored them here after we started dating >admit I did that because I didn't want her to think I was a man-child >she makes face like pic related >oh f--- f--- f--- >f------ f---, why did I tell her that? I just ruined everything, f--- me >"Anon..." >"Yeah?" >"I think I love you" I've never felt such warmth in my heart, I think I made it, I think she is the one

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Leave it in my dreams | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/07/22 (Fri)13:48:44 No.68570164 >be me >fall asleep while bench pressing (hit new PR 115 lbs) >have sex dream about gym crush (dat ass tho) >feel someone tapping my shoulder >wake up, takes a while to remember where I am bc groggy >it's gym crush >she tells me I had a wet dream and points to the obvious boner in my c-- soaked sweatpants >asks if she can use the bench rack now >I mumble a mix between yes and sorry (yorry), then I run to lockeroom and cry in toilet stall until everyone leaves gym >>68570187 # >>68571374 # >>68571971 #

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I guess there's more to this shit | /r/Greentext

star-wars-the-last-jedi-Temiri-Blagg-broom-boy.jpg 148 KB JPG >be me >A few years ago I wrote a story about my brother who showed our aunt his d--- >Someone made a story from his perspective >Someone else made a story from my aunt's perspective >Someone else made a story from my mom's perspective >While reading I was believing all of it until they said I went trans which I didn't >Rather than just assuming it was all a Larp I choose to believe that there are actually countless people out there who have tried to f--- their aunt >This phenomenon could be a cinematic universe of its own, the "aunt Id like to f---" universe, or the "Ailf" universe >There are many of them out there, boys and men who have fallen for their mother/father's sister and attempted to lure them in using their p--- addiction >Consider it like a real world version of the Jedi, my brother is one of them >At night they stay awake feeling the pain of not being able to f--- their aunt >They will become more and more powerful to achieve their goals >If they work together, they can finally f--- their aunts

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anon act like he doesn't care | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Don't stick your d--- in crazy(...) 2 KB JPG 10/08/22(Sat) 12:47:26 No.886949072 >Be me 1 year ago >randomly meet woman on bus. >talks with me. >frumpy hippy type,vegetarian,total lefty >hang out with her because bored. >Tell her I'm rightwing, expect spergout, instead she starts liking me w--? >takes me home with her, neckbeard tier mess. >We f---, wants me to stay the night. >She's a druggy and alcoholic wine aunt, with cats and a dog, of course she is. >We become friends with benefits somehow, even though I'm not exactly into her. >She borrows my old gaming laptop(fine at least I can use it when I'm over),I also gift her my old plasma tv. >Over the weeks I become increasingly annoyed with her schizo ramblings and emotional outbursts. >Trying to politely distance myself Isn't working, she's like a damn boomerang that keeps coming back. >I try to get my laptop back a few times, but only get excuses, and broken promises. >Suddenly she tells me she found a new bf, he's some neet lefty anarchist like her, they deserve eachother. >She stops badgering me now finally, I'm cutting contact, keep the laptop! >Live in peace, happy she's out of my life. >learned my lesson the hard way lads, w-- did I bumble into? : Anonymous >>886949072 (OP) # : Anonymous Grow a spine and a pair you cuck. 10/08/22(Sat)12:49:58 No.886949141 10/08/22(Sat)12:50:20 No.886949157

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the dancing cookie | /r/Greentext

>be me >A truck driver who has to deliver cookies across the United States >As I head west one of the cookies jumps out of the box and says "hi I'm a dancing cookie" and starts humming Mozart's serenade 13 in G Major while shaking side to side >I laugh and put the cookie back in the box >Another 30 miles pass and the cookie jumps back out once again humming serenade number 13 in G major 223 KB JPG once more >Now I'm annoyed and I throw the cookie back into the box >Another few miles pass and once again the dancing cookie gets out and starts dancing while humming the song >I angrily say "look cookie, this is your final warning, if you get out one more time I will throw you into that lake up there" >Right as we drive by the lake the cookie gets out once more and dances to his hearts content >I grab the cookie and throw it into the Lake the end

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The engagement | /r/Greentext

1.04 MB PNG >be me >At seafood restaurant where they actually catch some of their food from the outside lake >Sitting on dock by the lake waiting for my girlfriend to show up >Today is the day I propose >I'm looking at the ring and my hands get all twitchy and I drop it >The ring falls into the lake and I'm totally screwed at this point >Girlfriend shows up, we go inside to eat >I'm all nervous and thinking of what to do >Just then the waitress shows up with our food >My girlfriend got oysters and two of them were stuck to something >She pulls it out and.. >I begin hearing serenade 13 in G major by Mozart >Inside of her oyster is a dancing cookie the end

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Anon watches Scooby Doo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon is wondering how to get girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 300 KB JPG : Anonymous 137 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)03:23:34 No.14905054 Physics senior here. What subfield of physics will get me the most girls? I'm thinking Quantum Computing for the grift into startup capital angle. 10/08/22(Sat)03:30:13 No.14905059 >>14905054 (OP) # retard

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Anon finds out the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 09/14/16(Wed)22:36:22 No.703956574 >"Shaken, not stirred" I got curious and wanted to know if there was an actual difference between shaking a martini and stirring it. I thought it wouldn't matter, since you're just mixing the ingredients, but apparently a study was conducted to determine if the preparation of a martini had any influence on its antioxidant capacity; the study found that shaken gin martinis were able to break down hydrogen peroxide and leave only 0.072% of the peroxide behind, while the stirred gin martini left behind 0.157% of the peroxide. Based on this information I have concluded that for James Bond to be able to detect a difference this small, he must be massively autistic.

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Anon went to /fit/, but will never escape /pol/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)14:16:26 No.68570424 >be kv >lift for years to hopefully fix this >finally get a gf a month ago >just found out she's jewish

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Anons a story teller | /r/Greentext

File: pepewithcat.jpg (20 KB, 435x318) Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)20:43:56 No.882770455 >be me >retarded >the end *something relatable*

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