Anon watches Scooby Doo | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is wondering how to get girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 300 KB JPG : Anonymous 137 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)03:23:34 No.14905054 Physics senior here. What subfield of physics will get me the most girls? I'm thinking Quantum Computing for the grift into startup capital angle. 10/08/22(Sat)03:30:13 No.14905059 >>14905054 (OP) # retard

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Anon finds out the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 09/14/16(Wed)22:36:22 No.703956574 >"Shaken, not stirred" I got curious and wanted to know if there was an actual difference between shaking a martini and stirring it. I thought it wouldn't matter, since you're just mixing the ingredients, but apparently a study was conducted to determine if the preparation of a martini had any influence on its antioxidant capacity; the study found that shaken gin martinis were able to break down hydrogen peroxide and leave only 0.072% of the peroxide behind, while the stirred gin martini left behind 0.157% of the peroxide. Based on this information I have concluded that for James Bond to be able to detect a difference this small, he must be massively autistic.

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Anon went to /fit/, but will never escape /pol/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)14:16:26 No.68570424 >be kv >lift for years to hopefully fix this >finally get a gf a month ago >just found out she's jewish

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Anons a story teller | /r/Greentext

File: pepewithcat.jpg (20 KB, 435x318) Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)20:43:56 No.882770455 >be me >retarded >the end *something relatable*

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Anon didn’t expect this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>886938038 10/07/22 (Fri)23:21:20 No.886939919 >be me, 17 >first year undergrad at a VERY christian school >HAve gf, go out for valentines day in the evening >Lil park and a pond, have a drink on the small pier >super romantic, kiss her at the pond >back to the car, start making out clothes come off >f--- her, s--- was cash >sudden_bright_light.jpg >local security rolls up, demands us to get dressed and wants to see ID >hand over my driver's license, gf hands over her school ID >f---.mpeg >security kicks us out of the neighborhood, we go to mcdonalds and get shakes >get kicked out of the school a week later

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a loving mother.. | /r/Greentext

>be me, a loving mother of 2 children >Both boys, this story starts when they were 14 and 16 >14 year old had a p---------- addiction that had noticable negative impact on him >One day my husband and I were at the store when I get a phone call from my sister claiming that my son showed her his penis >I ground him from all electronics and force him into therapy >Years go by and he changes into the man we wanted him to be >He becomes a helper, a hard worker and a true patriot >My other son transitioned and is now my beautiful daughter >Decide to pay him a visit one day at his apartment >I knock on the door and he opens up >I ask to come in and sit on his couch and he's acting all weird >I hear a sneeze from his bedroom >I ask who it is 25 KB JPG >Turns out it's my sister and they're desperately trying to explain how they didn't have sex which gives me the idea that they had sex >I tell them how mad I am >I yell and say how disgusting it is and the how the worst part is I couldn't be apart of it >Just then there's another knock at the door >It's my daughter and I explain to her what has been going on >She gets angry at us for not letting her in on this too >We end up having the best o--- ever >My husband walks in on us and says "room for one more?" >Hours later the apartment reeks and we're all laughing, reminiscing on the times when my son had a p--- addiction

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Anon is at peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/22 (Fri)15:20:19 No.886927786 flat, 750x1000,075,f.jpg 134 KB JPG fazar8 >my whole life I've never been able to get along with people who I've held in a high regard >it made me feel like something was wrong with me >maybe I'm a loser, or these people dont like me for some other reason >I came to a realization today >I can get along with just about everybody >I make friends with everyone I meet pretty much >so how much of a toxic person do they have to be where they can't even get along with someone like me who gets along with everyone else >I am at peace Anons

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Anon wants to know if he should wait | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous EXERTION conn 10/07/22(Fri)13:00:23 No.27452703 >be me >late 2020 >girl falls in love with me and leaves her fiance for me >always felt proud about this, like a Gigachad 1.37 MB JPG >always thought I would marry this girl, our bond is so special and so deep >two days ago, after we have sex, she tells me while we're cuddling that she's fallen for someone else >she still loves me though >she wants me to be patient while she decides who she wants to be with Should I wait?

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Anon questions other anons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous fellow tw ks take the gympill(...) Anonymous 10/04/22(Tue)19:41:45 No.27867153 26 KB PNG >Be me >At the college rec center lockerroom after getting done with my silly cardio >Lifter who's taller and older than me happens to use the locker next to mine 233 KB JPG Do tops not realize how easy it is to manipulate bottoms please r--- me please r--- me please r--- me please r--- me please r--- me 10/04/22(Tue)19:43:09 No.27867169 >>27867153 (OP) >please r--- me please r--- me please r--- me please r--- me please r--- me

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anon tries to be smart | /r/Greentext

: onymous 10/02/22(Sun)07:47:50 No.613887047 Palace Sentinel Daggerfall.jpg 193 KB JPG >boomers shat their pants when they saw this Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)07:49:34 No.613887132 It must be hard to wrap your head around progress being made since your whole generation has known nothing but stagnation. >>613887273 # >>613887336 # >>613887346 # >>613887357 # >>613888008 # >>613888339 # >>613888462 # >>613888692 # >>613889250 # >>613889930 # >>613890018 # >>613890121 # >>613890192 # >>613890246 # >>613890413 # >>613890657 # >>613892635 # >>613893113 # >>613893170 # >>613893226 # >>613894280 # >>613894781 # >>613894782 # >>613894826 # >>613895332 # >>613895465 # >>613895934 # >>613896453 # >>613896787 # >>613896846 # >>613897005 # >>613897059 # >>613897350 # >>613898221 # >>613898612 # >>613898951 # >>613899032 # >>613899107 # >>613899287 # >>613899354 # >>613899514 # >>613899675 # >>613899713 # >>613899726 # >>613899930 # >>613899993 # >>613900058 # >>613900384 # >>613900573 # >>613900652 # >>613901202 # >>613901367 # >>613901412 # >>613901534 # >>613901610 # >>613901746 # >>613902030 # >>613902525 # >>613902609 # >>613902653 # >>613902669 #

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Anon's Slippery Slope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How I became a t----- 10/07/22(Fri) 12:00:59 No.27899756 >accidentally buy some skinny jeans from the women's section >think "eh whatever" and try them on >feels goodman.jpg >wear them a lot 76 KB JPG >buy some more >think I'll try branching out into other types of female legwear >buy some jeggings >wear them a lot >progress to leggings >omg this is the best feeling ever >1 year later and I have transitioned and wear jeggings and leggings every day

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4channer has great ideas for spies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2.07 MB PNG 10/07/22(Fri)15:33:14 No.55528715 >you infiltrate the Russian army >they assign you to training the new conscripts because someone f------ has to What do you teach them to cause maximum accidents and friendly fire? Anonymous >>55528715 (OP) # To maximize the accidents and friendly fire rate I simply give them standard Russian army training. 10/07/22 (Fri)15:35:27 No.55528753 : Anonymous >>55528715 (OP) # I r--- them in the butthole 10/07/22(Fri)15:36:39 No.55528765

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