Anon visits a website | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 23 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon)20:52:44 No.69371086 >2005 >Go to online store webpage >Search for the item you want >Checkout >2022 >Go to online store webpage >This website uses cookies. Allow cookies? >Allow >Allow this website to know your location? >Block >Allow this website to send notifications? >Block >Popup covering screen appears. Enter your email now for 10% off! >Close popup >Fake chat appears, Jill would like to assist you >Close chat >Finally get to the search bar, start entering text >Javascript wasn't finished loading, search bar gets deselected halfway through typing >Click the search bar again, finish typing, hit enter >Item you want appears, try to click it >More javascript loads before you click, the page rearranges itself, now you've clicked something else >Close webpage and toss monitor out the window

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon Tries To Be Friendly Online | /r/Greentext

File: what.gif (1.4 MB, 338x338) Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon)21:01:35 No.614054217 >be me >playing multiplayer game in 2022 >hear male voice on mic >be friendly >"hey man, nice team kill! you're doing good, my guy :)" >tells me to go f--- myself >??? >5 hours later >"You have been banned: Transphobia"

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anon had a rough childhood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/17(Fri) 17:29:57 No.749317098 >>749315451 (OP) # >Be me >Grow up with mom who abuses me, but still claims she loves me >Grow up as only child >Grow up not knowing dad >Time passes >Dad dies, never get to know him >Find out I have half sister, who's 18, I'm 12 >After all these years alone, I figure out I'm not >Mom knew, she never told me >Move in with grandma after huge fight >Eventually get my half sister's facebook by simply looking up her name >We actually look alike, dark hair, blue eyes, except I have a stronger jaw >She's a solid 9/10, not even lying >Send her one message >"Hi" >Weeks pass, she hasn't read it >Then one day, she reads it >I get so happy >But, she never responds >Get no contact from her for 6 1/2 years >Until one day she calls me You know what she asks for? Money.

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Anon’s girlfriend doesn’t like his new car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 220 KB PNG 10/03/22(Mon)04:16:59 No.70440068 I feel like I've gone insane and I can't take it anymore >28 year old retard, somehow convinced this girl to date me, I've been head over heels for her >feel like I've won the lottery, don't know how a guy like me lucked into dating a girl like this >recently bought a new car because my old one was a junker and I wanted to impress this girl >but ever since I bought the car, she had been treating me differently and it took me a while to figure out she was being standoffish and we were nowhere near as close as before I bought the car >struggle to understand what is going on, try to ignore it >she called me and told me she wanted to break up >I keep asking her why and she keeps refusing to tell me >I get angry and yell at her "Just f------ tell me if you're cheating on me, I just want to know" >She screams back at me "I GOT THE ICK WHEN I SAW HOW FAR YOU HAVE TO REACH TO CLOSE THE CAR DOOR" >I'm dumbfounded and just say "What?" >She starts crying and says "It's not your fault, I just got the ick when I saw how far you had to reach to close the door when you get in the car. It gave me the ick, it's not your fault, I'm sorry" >She hangs up and I'm just left there feeling like I took a thousand crazy pills

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Anon advises people on how to get disowned | /r/Greentext

45 KB JPG Why don't you: >shave that body >get laser hair removal >throw out all your male underwear and replace them with cute panties >invest in stuff like nail polish, makeup and girls clothes >diet to become close to underweight BMI You can become such a cute boy if you did all of these steps anon Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)00:48:54 No.69362918 Sounds like a lot of effort to get disowned

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Anon avoids the friendzone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 09/23/22(Fri)05:28:37 No.70317969 >become gym buddy with coworker >one day she starts talking about the kind of guy she likes: tall, blonde, surfer dude etc >description is clearly not me so this must mean she's not into me >now that she's given the green light to be purely platonic I can just talk about whatever >tell her my type would be someone like Anonette from Other Department >she immediately ends the conversation, says she needs to go and hasn't texted again alright

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Аnоn is ассurаtе. . . | /r/Greentext

hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter

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Make it stop. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/22/22 (Wed)16:27:55 No.69136647 356 KB PNG >be me >about to enjoy a night watching Shrek 2 (2004) >got my popcorn >sitting in my chair with a blanket >the deer man starts speaking loudly in the voice of my deceased mother outside, trying to lure me outside I just wanted to relax

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)14:01:53 Im planning to poison my whole school with ricin. The day will be on the chocolate cake day. But i dont know how much of ricine i need to poison atleast 100 students. This will probably be the biggest school massacre in my country (i dont live in USA btw). Do you guys have any tips? (Pic not related) No.884974382 179 KB JPG

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Everyone deserves some love. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)07:03:52 No.46575340 How do you feel whenever you see qts with guys who clearly don't lift? 06/25/18(Mon)07:06:27 No.46575354 >>46575340 (OP) # Proud of them. Everybody deserve somebody to love. 25 KB PNG >>46576935 # >>46579238 # >>46582314 # >>46583099 # >>46583228 # >>46583287 # >>46584010 # >>46584841 # >>46584913 # >>46584919 # >>46585212 # >>46585537 #

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Anon is an internet boomer | /r/Greentext

6 KB JPG >Get Rickroll'd for the first time in over a decade >Realise Rickrolling is 15 years old >Imold.jpg >Search for my old meme YT playlist >No new vids since 2011 >Rewatch ancient-ass memes >No bass boosts or deep frying >Remember how funny and creative internet memes used to be >"Influencers" virtually didn't exist - Few people trying to sell you something, everyone was there just to have fun >Sad wild web is long dead >We used to be an internet, a real internet

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reddit users | /r/Greentext

r/greentext users after posting For the 6th time this week M @ Anonymous Be me 115 KB JPG instead 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.4289277 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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anon likes helping people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Streamer 326 KB JPG 10/03/22(Mon)11:41:43 No.10416650 >be me >bored >goes on twitch >either thots or boring people >find good streamer >he's not very popular but funny >also not too good at game >I beat it on the highest difficulty >help him and tell him where the secrets are for the next 3 hours >he has too go >next day he starts streaming >join >"yo anon nice to see you" >feels good Pic unrelated Now I just help him with games and we talk while he streams it feels good to actually be helpful to someone for once View Thread

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