Anon Finds a Tier One Operator | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

wew lad.jpg (560 KB, 2560x1440) google yandex iqdb wait awa Cop domes active shooter with 1 shot at 180 yards >>55388658 >>55388673 >>55389352 >>55389810 >>55390 >>55392586 >be cop >just finished my 700th range session of the year >went and got starbucks to celebrate >get call about an active shooter >cruise up with *buccy in hand >place cup on dashboard as to not waste that delicious brew >calmly exit cruiser and swagger to the trunk while shots are going off all around me >pull out Ol' Reliable from its easy access position right at the trunk door >brace myself on the car >PEW >"suspect down" You will NEVER be this badass. [YouTube] Tacoma Police OIS - 6700 South Madison St (8/28/22) (embed) 5:00 and onwards

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon's boyfriend is a lucky MF | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/30/16(Sun)19:42:30 No.7094804 was the one to put the moves on him. When I first scooped him up he was little, shy and afraid of me. He still is. My favorite thing to do with him is kissing him. Always at the college I wear the reddest lipstick I have. Just before the lectures we have together I corner him and kiss him all over his cute face. Without time to clean it off he has to sit through the lecture with my lipstick marks all over him. Then everyone can see who he belongs to. After the lecture he is all red faced and he goes to me to bury his face in my boobs and cry. 35 KB JPG

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anon's inheritance money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous OH.GOD. 09/24/22(Sat) 18:43:41 No.886174726 >great grandad dies >Leaves inheritance money for my mum and random family members >Mum decides to buy a house, pay off debts, sort our life out >optimistically plan our life out for the next few months a few months 72 KB JPG >fastfoward >70 year old grandad gets the inheritance money >tells us he can't wait to get a sex change >blank.jpg >mfw my grandad thinks getting his d--- chopped off is more important than my mums life

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The Sopranos | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/27/22(Tue)16:54:10 No.174774485 F3CD1D93-A058-4AAC-AA25-84B1550E8494.jpg 374 KB JPG >christofuh, some of janice's hippie friends are coming to town in this "mystery machine" and trying to bust our business, i need you to dress up as a monster and scare em out of jersey

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Anon is desperate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Life Hacks 07/23/19(Tue)11:10:55 No.53534008 >be me >Go to twitch >make a new account with real name >Search for low viewer female streamers. >Click follow. 147 KB PNG >9 of 10 times she will say my name and some qt s--- >save the clip Everytime i need some human interaction i just open a video of a qt3.14 saying my name

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Anon misses his friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 09/22/22(Thu)17:59:45 No.70313692 >friend introduced me of a genre of games >used to hang out and play them together all the time >friend died >still play them years later >look around no friends >a really good game came out >wish I could show my friend >realize hell never play it or see how good I got >no one will

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Anon Puts Away the Garlic Bread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/22(Thu)16:39:35 No.27402395 320 KB JPG >Be me >Mom made ravioli and garlic bread for dinner >We ate the ravioli and were stuffed >We forgot about the garlic bread. >Mom took some garlic bread, and I declined due to being full >I offered to put the rest of it away for her. She said I could put it in a plastic bag. >I put the bread in a gallon ziploc bag. Seal most of it. >I wrap the bag up most of the way. I want it to stay as fresh for as long as possible. >l attempt to air seal it as I put the unsealed part to my lips and take in deep breaths. >I loudly inhale air from the bag, and exhale a moment later. >My mom watches me as I do this. >We make eye contact as she just watches me. >She tells me I can just throw it out. >What did I do wrong guys? Why don't she want the garlic bread anymore?

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Anon fucks a pack of chili powder | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/30/22(Fri)13:18:16 No.171597731 (215 KB, 512x512) File: 1663451377389939.png >be me >getting sleepy after lunch >proceed to get naked and roll around the bed while browsing /gif/ >sudden sting on my penis >its probably nothing >try to ignore the sting for a few minutes >now it feels like someone jammed a chili inside my urethra >finally inspect my jhonny >there is an actual piece of chili flakes in the urethra >what the actual f---

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Anon hates linux users | /r/Greentext

No. 87379666 7 minutes ago linux.png PNG 115.8 KiB 522x747 >so I decided to try this Linux thing >google "how to install linux" >apparently i have to choose a "distro" >google "best linux distros" >literally 8 to 10 recommendations every single time >might as well stick to the ones that are for beginners >google each one individually and discover that linux users s--- on every single one of them >"Ubuntu/Linux Mint/Fedora/elementary/Manjaro is trash, it breaks, it doesn't support [random word], [insert other distro] is better" etc >w-- is their problem >going to stick to windows because linux users are seething retards

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Anon is actually homosexual. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 07/20/22(Wed)05:44:27 No.69477659 >be me >live in a small appalachian mining town >regularly get f----- in the ass by miners >wait at the group shower for the miners to come after their shift is over >they regularly run a train on me until everyone has emptied a load inside >after they are done with me, everyone gives me a nickel or two >it aint honest work but its much and its a pleasure for everyone involved >today one of them brought this giant chunk of coal from the mine and shoved it right up my ass >the mine boss sometimes invites me in his office to suck him off, then shoves a few bucks in my ass >life is good

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anon is an old school gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT: Times video games got you(...) 41 KB JPG 07/07/17 (Fri)22:03:05 No.383137719 >be me innocent 6 year old >dad loved fps games >lets me play them because I did really well at school >played Wolfenstein 3D and Doom a lot because I loved the violence >loved the music in the games a lot but one specific song that stood out was the title theme for Wolfenstein 3D >used to hum that song all the time >fast forward 4 years in elementary school >still had the song stuck in my head >had this math exam I took in private because I was sick the day of the exam >only me and teacher in the room >the test was boring and monotonous so I started humming the Wolfenstein 3D title theme >teacher was visibly shocked and took me to the principal's office >teacher told the principal I was humming some Nazi song >had literally no idea the Wolfenstein 3D title theme was Horst Wessel Lied, Nazi Germany's national anthem >mfw both the teacher and the principal were Jews

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Anon, like all anons, is gay af | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous # 09/29/22(Thu)13:24:35 No.27798450 B16D0666-0C23-429A-9975-4CB395ECEEC1.jpg 66 KB JPG MENTESEO I feel like a double agent asking a girl on a date knowing full well I just jerked off to gay gangbangs the whole damn week.

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Allegedly former incel Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Found a new way to break incel(...) Are mong babae ALLE AN 754 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)16:28:41 No.886406302 >move in with cousin and his gf >uncle dies, cousin is depressed and distant from his gf >now's your chance >use cousin's unlocked phone to look up escort sites repeatedly >make some calls to them but do nothing >start hitting on his gf >when she calls you out tell her about your "cousin's" adultry >she checks his phone >breaks down and dumps her depressed boyfriend >be shoulder to cry on in bad times >profit : Anonymous >>886406302 (OP) # That is absolutely vile, holy f---. Poor guy. 09/28/22(Wed)16:41:01 No.886406775

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