Anon f---- a pack of chili powder | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 09/30/22(Fri)13:18:16 No.171597731 (215 KB, 512x512) File: 1663451377389939.png >be me >getting sleepy after lunch >proceed to get naked and roll around the bed while browsing /gif/ >sudden sting on my penis >its probably nothing >try to ignore the sting for a few minutes >now it feels like someone jammed a chili inside my urethra >finally inspect my jhonny >there is an actual piece of chili flakes in the urethra >what the actual f---

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hates linux users | /r/Greentext

No. 87379666 7 minutes ago linux.png PNG 115.8 KiB 522x747 >so I decided to try this Linux thing >google "how to install linux" >apparently i have to choose a "distro" >google "best linux distros" >literally 8 to 10 recommendations every single time >might as well stick to the ones that are for beginners >google each one individually and discover that linux users s--- on every single one of them >"Ubuntu/Linux Mint/Fedora/elementary/Manjaro is trash, it breaks, it doesn't support [random word], [insert other distro] is better" etc >w-- is their problem >going to stick to windows because linux users are seething retards

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Anon is actually homosexual. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 07/20/22(Wed)05:44:27 No.69477659 >be me >live in a small appalachian mining town >regularly get f----- in the ass by miners >wait at the group shower for the miners to come after their shift is over >they regularly run a train on me until everyone has emptied a load inside >after they are done with me, everyone gives me a nickel or two >it aint honest work but its much and its a pleasure for everyone involved >today one of them brought this giant chunk of coal from the mine and shoved it right up my ass >the mine boss sometimes invites me in his office to suck him off, then shoves a few bucks in my ass >life is good

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anon is an old school gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT: Times video games got you(...) 41 KB JPG 07/07/17 (Fri)22:03:05 No.383137719 >be me innocent 6 year old >dad loved fps games >lets me play them because I did really well at school >played Wolfenstein 3D and Doom a lot because I loved the violence >loved the music in the games a lot but one specific song that stood out was the title theme for Wolfenstein 3D >used to hum that song all the time >fast forward 4 years in elementary school >still had the song stuck in my head >had this math exam I took in private because I was sick the day of the exam >only me and teacher in the room >the test was boring and monotonous so I started humming the Wolfenstein 3D title theme >teacher was visibly shocked and took me to the principal's office >teacher told the principal I was humming some Nazi song >had literally no idea the Wolfenstein 3D title theme was Horst Wessel Lied, Nazi Germany's national anthem >mfw both the teacher and the principal were Jews

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Anon, like all anons, is gay af | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous # 09/29/22(Thu)13:24:35 No.27798450 B16D0666-0C23-429A-9975-4CB395ECEEC1.jpg 66 KB JPG MENTESEO I feel like a double agent asking a girl on a date knowing full well I just jerked off to gay gangbangs the whole damn week.

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Allegedly former incel Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Found a new way to break incel(...) Are mong babae ALLE AN 754 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)16:28:41 No.886406302 >move in with cousin and his gf >uncle dies, cousin is depressed and distant from his gf >now's your chance >use cousin's unlocked phone to look up escort sites repeatedly >make some calls to them but do nothing >start hitting on his gf >when she calls you out tell her about your "cousin's" adultry >she checks his phone >breaks down and dumps her depressed boyfriend >be shoulder to cry on in bad times >profit : Anonymous >>886406302 (OP) # That is absolutely vile, holy f---. Poor guy. 09/28/22(Wed)16:41:01 No.886406775

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Anon talks about his first kiss | /r/Greentext

289 KB JPG 117 Replies / 20 Images : Anonymous ATENAME AND Tell me about your first kiss. MONSTER VINY >>64838764 (OP) # I guess I've been kissing my mother good night ever since I was a toddler 'til like age 16. No you normalfuck of course I never actually kissed. The KHHV thing isn't a meme, y'know. I try not to let it get to me because I'm in my early 20s but there's always that sliver of hopelessness hanging in the back telling me to prepare the wizard robe. 246 KB PNG View Thread 08/05/21(Thu)20:14:43 No.64845791

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anon concludes that traps are not gay | /r/Greentext

File: 20co4k.jpg (67 KB, 702x813) Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)22:41:55 No.814985354 ► >>81 >be me >have doubts about sexuality >watch serious amount of trap hentai >wondering about if traps are really gay >think out a test >if liking traps make me gay, then i must also like gay p--- >bigbrain.png >go on gay section of pornhub >watch 3 videos in a row >not even a boner >mfw I confirmed that traps doesnt make you gay Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)22:50:21 No.814985675 >>814985354 (OP) F------ f-----

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Anon gets lucky | /r/Greentext

5h (2/21 2:02) 589505954 JPG 13KB (525 × 584) 2 Replies >download rom >cmd opens up >several lines of code are inputted at FTL speeds >several error messages appear >screen flickers >pc locks up and ransomware screen appears >screen flickers and everything goes back to normal >custom error message appears >"just kidding :)" >game launches and runs normally :

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Anon gets trolled by based Aussies | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anon shares his opinion on Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 05/02/19(Thu)15:00:09 No.52228531 >Decide to check out reddit to see if its as bad as everyone says >Go to the r/AmltheAsshole subreddit > First Post I see is of a some bitch getting pregnant at 17 wanting a abortion, boyfriend pleading her keep the child says he'll raise it <Child is born she starts saying 'I hAvE pTsD fRoM IT' What the f---? >Father raises child >ffw 12 years her daughter wants to meet her >Literally wants no contact >Straight up rejects her own child >Everyone cheering her on >Any people who disagree get downvoted into oblivion 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 637 KB PNG >his name is Chaffeur >we communicate through hand signals and he understands very basic words >in dream, my house burns down >(dont worry about why, it was a seperate section of the dream unrelated) >i call out for help as I see chaffeur and his friends >he comes closer and signals "what's up" 09/29/22(Thu)15:38:35 No.70398860 >be me >in a dream >recently a helper-monkey has been popping up alot >i repeat his signals as to say "hey" >he looks at my house and signals >"have you got nothing left" >i nod my head in a melancholy way >chaffeur signals >"Don't be thinking about negativities" Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 8 Replies / 5 Images : Anonymous >>70399188 # >>70399188 # View Thread 09/29/22(Thu)16:03:26 No.70399138 Anonymous >>70398860 (OP) # i like this dream i am going to incorporate it into my subconscious and hope chauffeur comes to greet me one night 09/29/22(Thu)16:04:50 No.70399155

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Anon doesn't like cola | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB PNG 09/22/22(Thu)16:07:45 No.18384316 Coca-Cola from my >drink can of pic related >all moisture is instantly zapped 15 Replies >teeth feel like a ate a chalk stick >have to immediately brush my teeth afterwards How do people suck down can after can of this s--- every day? View Thread

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