Anon is a rapper | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

KILLA People who need kinos made about them Anonymous 08/29/22(Mon)22:57:04 No.173348917 ► >>173349099 >>173349616 >>173350229 >>173350268 >>173351314 ITT: People who need a movie made about their lives ASAP >be small time, 17 year old rapper/gang banger >career isn't going very well, might have to get an actual job >no f--- that, instead, do a home invasion and kill someone and rob their house >get caught and arrested, released with an ankle monitor because juvenile >decide f--- that, and cut off the ankle monitor and go on the run >while at large, write and shoot a video and song about the murder you committed, about the crimes your committing while on the run, and name drop all of your gangbanger friends >there's a f------ part of the music video where he's looking at his own wanted poster >it's an instant hit, hundreds of millions of views and streams >do ANOTHER murder while you're on the run from the original murder; this time rob and murder a guy in a Chick-fil-A parking lot >police finally catch you, put you back in jail >song pulled from youtube/streaming platforms, only recently reuploaded >at the trial, the prosecutor plays your song for the jury to prove that you were fully aware of your crimes and even bragged about them >"I'm gonna shoot bitch, without a debate. I'm gonna shoot, you can see it in my face" plays for the horrified white suburban moms on the jury at his trial >music video ends with him getting picked up in a sports car and driving off >sentenced to 55 years in prison, trial still pending on the 2nd murder >all before you turn 18 F--- A BEAT, I WAS TRYNA BEAT A CASE BUT I AIN'T BEAT THAT CASE, BITCH I DID THE RACE (SKRT, SKRT) BEAT IT UP, WHERE I NUT? SHORTY FACE (GANG, GANG) ELI BLAST CRACKIN' 4'S LIKE A VASE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk0NZrCfSx8&ab_channel=JtFreeze [Embed]

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon works at Amazon 2k | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB JPG 08/30/22(Tue)08:40:01 No.70017566 > be me > 2032 > Work at Amazon 2k warehouse > Amazon was renamed to Amazon 2k in 2026 to rebrand the name in a futuristic way > On shift > Put boxes from one table to another > Screen in front of me gives instructions > TAKE BOX > PUT BOX DOWN > TAKE BOX > PUT BOX DOWN > HOLD ON > SEND A PRAYER TO YOUR BOSS > KEEP GOING, TAKE BOX > Do this for 5 hours straight, no talking to coworkers allowed > Suddenly screen in front of me changes to brown background > MR. TARD_3, FOR AMAZON 2K VALUES ITS EMPLOYEES NEEDS, YOUR ARE NOW ALLOWED TO VISIT THE TOILET F--- yeah, finally! > Run to toilet > Hallways are crowded > Everyone is allowed a toilet break at the same time, as always > Literally hundreds of coworkers running around, suppressing farts and pissing themselves > Make it to the restroom after literally fighting 4 people, nose broken and box cutter sticking out of my back > Toilet Assignment Manager awaits me > "Sir, bowl 235 is free and ready for you!" > Look around, see stall doors 3 and 5 next to me > Bowl 235 is half a mile away > After running a while, notice one stalldoor open > My ass is about to explode > Sneak inside, sit down > Screen on stall door lights up > YOU'VE NOT BEEN ASSIGNED THIS TOILET. PLEASE DO YOUR DEEDS ON THE TOILET YOU'VE BEEN ASSIGNED FOR! > Ignore it > Screen turns red, alarm starts blaring > STOP S-------! STOP S-------! STOP S-------! > Stalldoor burst open > Three Amazon 2k Bathroom security bots grab me as turd just leaves my arse hole > They beat me up using random returned items, one is wielding a massive Amazon Basic offbrand Kitchen Aid > Being dragged to my workplace through the crowded floors, bleeding, s--- all over my ass and back > Start working again > Was my fault, sorry Mr. Bezos

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anon is gonna get some ghostussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 146 KB PNG 11/03/21(Wed)05:50:13 No.30174571 >be me >have sleep paralysis every now and then, pretty rare >wake up, can't move, paralyzed below neck >scared for some reason >see some black, humanoid shape silhoutte in room corner >nothing outstandingly bad, but don't want to deal with it anymore >start jerking off aggresively every time before bed, staring into that corner to assert dominance and show that I don't fear >one night wake up >can't move, heart racing >skinless woman looking thing with dozens of eyes on her face sitting on me, straddling. Has hands with claws like Freddy Kruger knife fingers but on both hands >nearly s--- myself >it whispers >"sleep naked you coward, I'll f--- you so hard you'll never be able to get off to any other human again" >"I'll be waiting, worm" >shut my eyes, praying to Lord to deliver me from this evil >surrounded my bed with salt the next day, no longer try to assert any sort of dominance >get sleep paralysis now more often, same s--- with silhoutte in dark room corner >week ago silhoutte moved to foot of the bed, looks like it stands behind salt line but I'm still getting nervous how f----- am I it's all in my head, just my f----- up imagination, right? Would going to psychiatrist help?

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Anon works on a group project | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 08/29/22(Mon)10:03:28 No.884715871 >be me >17, socially awkward loser with no friends >There are some classes from school that are still done online, the unique ones I act like a normal person >Group project is passed in one of these >A girl from another class sends me a message >Asks me if I want to do it with her and her friends >Enter the group and they are all pretty chill, do the project without any problems >Fast foward a few days, that girl posted a drawing she made on status >Ugly as hell >We're not close or anything but she was nice to me before, so I think it's okay to make a compliment >Tell her it looks cute >She thanks me in a casual way. I were feeling anxious but everything seems to be fine >Fast foward one week >Have not seen a single f------ status from her >Another girl from our project group post a status that prints one of hers. >tfw I realize I was immediately blocked from seeing her status because I complimented her drawing That's it, I give up women. Turning gay tomorrow.

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Cat named finger: | /r/Greentext

feed me, waltuh... meow.. 1628537514423.png 241 KB PNG ง

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Anon tries to score a ebony | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be at Walmart >see petite teen Enony girl at aisle 7 (aisle 7 has stuff like pet food and cat toys and stuff incase you did not know) >think of a way to strike a fantastic convo >wait for her to move her cart and then smash my cart into hers at the right time >she looks at me shocked >say "well how about them apples haha, my names Austin and judging by the way you look I a-" >she slaps me so hard in the face that I feel like crying >she screams "AINT NO WAY A GODDAMN 'FOE NEM' (?) MAKIN MY WAY UP TO ME LIKE DAT YOU DUN LOST YO GODDAMN MIND BITCH" >again, try not to cry while everyone stares at me and just walk away 66 (e UN 08/29/22(Mon)12:13:55 No.27205177 300 KB PNG What the actual f--- guys, how do you get Ebonies you guys said this would be easy

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anon's wife likes going to jamaica | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 79 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:23:04 No.66439080 >wife about to leave for holiday trip to Jamaica >almost finished downloading all my games I'll play when she's away Kino. I love her but sometimes a man needs some manly time alone. You guys should be thankful you dont have to deal with a womans s--- 24/7. 22 KB JPG >working from home due to the coof aka gaming all day 12/05/21(Sun)13:24:19 No.66439093 >>66439080 (OP) # >holiday trip to jamaica hahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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Anakin SkyWalkuh… | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/29/22(Mon)21:06:31 No.173364620 SplinteringSith.png 346 KB PNG >We had a good thing you stupid son of a bitch! We had Windu. We had a Council. We had everything the galaxy needed and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, won the war and destroy the dark side. It was perfect. But no, you just had to blow it up! You and your anger and lust for power! You just had to be the Jedi master. If you'd been the chosen one, known your place, balance would be restored to the force right now. Who was in the wrong here?

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Anon doesn’t know how to groom himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 49042344 17.8 kB JPG 47 min. ago >go to self checkout at walmart >it shows your face on the screen the entire time STOP I DON'T WANT TO SEE

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anon has a favourite movie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/24/22(Wed)14:09:17 No.69937457 ► File: download (10).jpg (474 KB, 1080x1019) >>69936061 (OP) I loved when Adrew Tate said "It's Tateing time" and Tated all over the screen. It's one of the influencers ever.

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Anons take on Soldier Boy | /r/Greentext

FB_IMG_1657564527522.jpg 39 KB JPG >Keeps his word to The Boys. >Tells Butcher about Homelander being his son right after he finds out. >Despite having some doubts, he sticks to the plan until the very end. >Gets betrayed because "muh wife's son cuckery" >Tanks everyone and only loses because plot demands it.

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 44 KB PNG 08/30/22(Tue)08:16:35 No.70012903 >be me >hanging out with family and a few friends (mostly of parents) >having a good time >stand up to stretch >"haha wait, hold on anon" >sister stands next to me >I'm like an inch or two shorter >suddenly entire conversation shifts to how short I am every goddamn time

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virgin anon gets an idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 51 KB JPG 10/14/21(Thu)00:59:28 No.65754433 >be me >24 year old kisses, hugless and virgin coomer >younger brother is in high school and a chad >he's dating a cutie from his class that sometimes brings home >be jelly >sometimes sit with them while they're watching a movie to feel like I have a gf >know they're probably uncomfortable but also know the won't say s--- to be polite so don't give a s--- Imao >cry myself to sleep every night wondering how life would be like if I could have a cutie gf to introduce to my parents and invite over to watch movies >room is next to brother's so we share a wall >both our beds are against that same wall so some nights I can somewhat hear that she's having phone with his cutie gf >be extra jelly >idea.jpg >steal one of his airpods when he's not looking >loser keeps asking if I've seen it but he doesn't know the truth >be tonight >he's having phone sex again >grab the airpod and be quiet cause remember airpods have microphones >can only hear his gf talking >feels like heaven >pretend she's talking to me and quietly masturbate >coom.wav >they move to a normal conversation and she says "have a good night, I love you so much" >be so immersed that I reply "I love you too" >hear gf asking who the f--- said that >hear brother saying "anon?" through the wall >fuckfuckfuckfuck, exe >realize the royal f--- up and throw the airpod to the other side of the room >turn lights off and quietly reach my door to lock it then jump back in bed >hear brother knocking on my door but pretend to be asleep >"I know you're awake but we'll talk tomorrow" anons Im scared as all heckers im f------ s------- myself right now hwat the f--- do i do now

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