Anon has a cat | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu) 16:25:21 No.69948667 >>69948675 >>69948728 >>69948806 >>69948820 >>69948876 >>69949435 look at my little kitty i got a little kitty like 4 months ago and she's bigger now but this is my kitty she will always look like this to me. she's really nice and she squeaks a lot instead of meowing, and if i sit on the ground she rushes up to me to sit next to my knee and she's a good kitty and i love her already Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu)16:26:14 No.69948675 >>69948667 (OP) I like this cat. Thanks for posting this cat. O Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu)16:27:04 No.69948685 File: dd0d631f61a1e7d6e83b50de6(...).png (1.3 MB, 700x1304) I love her, whats her name? I love cats

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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we do a little bit of coping | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITS OVER 111 KB PNG : Anonymous 1.54 MB PNG p------------ >>69947407 # 08/25/22(Thu)05:56:00 No.69947274 >decide to give this personality test thing a shot >get INTP >no idea what this means >look it up >apparently it's the "incel" personality >mfw 08/25/22(Thu)05:59:26 No.69947314 >>69947274 (OP) # You dumb n----- INTP is the "smartest person in the room but never does much with it unless they're forced to" personality >t. bachelor's degree at 18, neeting a year later cause I got fired for being a lazy

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anon has a wholesome family | /r/Greentext

66 KB JPG >start hearing kissing noises >hear a belt get removed >tfw they start f------ and calling themselves by me and my sisters names >tfw it sounds like some bangbros s--- >mfw i'm still in the bathroom they stopped a good minute or so ago, don't really know what to do boys thinking about killing myself Anonymous >>762522146 # >be me, taking a s--- >be literally right now >take a s--- in my parents bathroom because they installed a little ass squirting thing and it feels nice >they get home earlier than usual >okaythisisfineiguess.png Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous 03/12/18(Mon)10:56:33 No.762522045 03/12/18(Mon)10:58:25 No.762522143 03/12/18(Mon)10:58:27 No.762522146 03/12/18(Mon)10:59:55 No.762522236 03/12/18(Mon)11:03:44 No.762522470 >swallow my pride walk outside the bathroom >they look at me >i look at them >"what all did you hear anon?" >i just calmly walk out and go sit in my 169 KB JPG room and lock my door >they try to talk to me and say it's normal for kids to hear their parents have sex >tfw they don't mention saying my the weird i----- fantasy they had i went through a lot to just get water in my ass

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anon smells roast beef | /r/Greentext

08/25/22(Thu)20:41:04 No.884505256 I woke up this morning and everything smells like roast beef. Took a shower delicious! brushed my teeth washed with So 27 KB JPG mouthwash put on fresh clean clothes. And everything still smells like roast beef. I left my house my car smells like roast beef. The gas at the gas station smells like roast beef. The whole office at work smells like roast beef. Where is the smell coming from I can't find it why does the whole world.smell like roast beef today. Why : Anonymous Is there when I'm depressed Going on Dafes ideal gf Getting married Randomly showing up at my doorstep Having a child with her Growing old together

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Anon might have been traumatized | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 606 KB PNG 08/25/22(Thu)12:26:25 No.69949838 >>69949103 (OP) # >>69949163 # >have older sister 10 years older than me and fat >back when I was 6 or 7, older sister ate the last of the ice cream which I wanted >called her fat to try and hurt her feelings >laid on top of me with her belly pushing against me >stayed like this for about an hour until parents got home >now I'm attracted to tall fat women with bellies

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Anon isn't scared of girls | /r/Greentext

File: 640full-elizabeth-turner..jpg (95 KB, 640x799) EMERS >"c'mon anon take off your shirt we're at the beach!" what do you do □ Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu)13:54:11 No.69947254 [Reply] >>69950197 >>69950303 >>69950780 >>69947341 >> >wake up >see this Showing all replies. Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu) 14:03:28 No.69947341 ► >>69947254 (OP) "Were in a stadium you f------ retard" LAKERS LUERS

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Up 2....A Pixar x 4chan production | /r/Greentext

6/1/2011 14:28 EST Anonymous 06/01/11 (Wed)14:44:44 No.331649063 File 1306953884.jpg-(110 KB, 862x645, Docility.jpg) 2:40 E Commencing experiment in amphibian aviation. 2:51M OP 06/01/11 (Wed)14:56:07 No.331650530 File 1306954567.jpg-(87 KB, 856x641, vodka.jpg) Frog is being put in cryogenic stasis for docility during the attachment of aviation equipment and will be revived. Frog not becoming docile quickly enough. Now adding vodka to the equation. OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:02:58 No.331651484 File 1306954978.jpg-(84 KB, 856x638, pissdrunk.jpg) Toad is now sufficiently docile. Attempting to attach state- of-the-art aviation equipment... OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:18:03 No.331653601 File 1306955883.jpg-(144 KB, 802x906, prepared.jpg) 6/11/2011 Aviation equipment attached. Preparing for launch. MI Nevar forget The day /b/ sent a toad into SPACE

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Anon receives his answer.Kinda | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous YOU NEVER HAD A BODY 71 KB JPG 08/25/22(Thu)12:19:01 No.69949776 does anyone else see the world very objectively? >think women are better than men because they commit much less crime >think whites are better than blacks because they've contributed far more >think that watching p---, or doing anything proven to be unhealthy is an automatic flaw 34 Replies / 6 Images View Thread Anonymous >>69949776 (OP) # Yeah like how you are objectively a f----- 08/25/22(Thu)13:15:58 No.69950105

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Anon's fears are rendered true | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/13/18 (Fri)01:14:01 No.774184761 >be me >not a reddit user >love 4chan greentext, post almost everyday >go to check reddit greentext for s---- and giggles >I recognize one of them >it's a greentext I posted not 30 minutes earlier on 4chan >mfw he got 1k upvotes from my content >mfw reddit users steal my greentexts and there's nothing I can do about it >mfw this one is gonna get stolen too

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anon is a wagie | /r/Greentext

File: Amazon meditation box.jpg (133 KB, 1200x675) T HALLO >>88280670 FERICIRE WHERE FASTM W MAT for Mindful Practice Room to recharge the internal battery Anonymous 08/24/22(Wed)17:59:15 No.88280331 HUR >>88280878 >WORKER 786944, YOUR ALLOTED BATTERY RECHARGE TIME HAS EXPIRED >PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR CAGE >WORKER 786944, RETURN TO CAGE IMMEDIATELY >WORKER 786944, CEASE SCREAMING IMMEDIATELY Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)18:15:16 No.88280499 >>88280641 n----- n----- n----- Anonymous 08/24/22(Wed)18:27:46 No.88280641 >>88280499 >WORKER 786944, YOUR EMPLOYMENT HAS BEEN TERMINATED >REASON: RACIAL CRIME >PERSON B-63985-CE6H, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST

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anon is a responsible driver | /r/Greentext

>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.

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Anon dislikes incest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Was I in the wrong here? 62 KB JPG No.27175179 08/24/22(Wed)23:36:15 >be me, been dating this girl for 4 months >she has 16 y/o brother who she's very close with >facetimes him every day, sometime's we'd be out and she'd be like "oh, I haven't facetimed my brother yet" >on Instagram nearly all her pictures are with him (to be fair she only has like 20 but only 3 of them he's not in), he comments stuff like "love you" on all her posts >one day, her brother misses her so he comes to our city and stays in her dorm room for a couple days >find it weird, she rationalizes it by saying that he wanted to come check out the city since he wanted to go to college here but I wondered why he just didn't get an AirBnB or whatever >while he's here, she plans to take him to a local amusement, I ask if I can come along >she's hesitant but agrees >feel like a third wheel the entire time, she'd occasionally kiss me or hold my hand but she was focused on her brother the entire time >too annoyed by the whole thing >after we get home, decide to confront her about it >complain to her how she ignored me the whole time and how her relationship with her brother is really weird and borderline incestuous (was kind of kidding about that last part) >she gets super offended and calls me a million names (creepy, perverted, sicko, etc.) >apologize many times for offending her but she stays angry and breaks up with me a day later Was I in the wrong here?

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Autism sperm | /r/Greentext

C >be me, about 20 years ago >be sperm >overhear chad seeds talking about how great life must be >think to myself "f--- it, can't be any worse than being trapped in here with these f------" >hatchplan.exe 6 KB JPG >know that I will never have a chance racing against chads >see chadsperms swim to front lines >instead I swim to the very back of the b------- >watch chadseeds fly into a tissue and be thrown into the trash >kek.mp3 >a little later swim to the front and wait for my chance >only me & other autist sperm left >make my way to the womb >be born >be me now >regret that decision every day

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