Anon doesn’t smoke weed | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 27 KB PNG 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them I'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon worries about his mind virus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: QNQ3SDcj 08/20/22(Sat)20:13:05 No.391933228 >>391933337 >>391933485 >>391938203 >>391938500 >>391931158 >Be me >hear nonsense word in dream >google it >It's hebrew >This happens like 3 times Give it to me straight guys, am I being directly infected with some sort of jewish mind virus via my dreams?

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Anon likes Better Call Saul | /r/Greentext

File: 2e398b2d-615c-4dc3-ab51-d(...).jpg (59 KB, 985x872) >lonely.jpg >think "what would jimmy do?" >idea.jpg Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)22:02:42 No.172911049 [Reply] >be me >awkward, not too autistic >but >develop weird obsessions from time to time >watch breaking bad and better call saul >obsess over it >mfw i'm actually happy for once >mfw i made friends >mfw people like me thanks jimmy >love jimmy mcgill >wish i had his charm and presence >relate a lot to his personal issues >go on vacation for a month >family tradition, everyone comes over to our summer home in some random coast town every summer >always miserable there >no friends, not that close with my family >buy a guitar >half-ass online guitar lessons in two weeks >turns out you can play guitar pretty decently in two weeks if you put in a lot of hours per day >able to play a lot of songs + have a naturally good voice >take my guitar on a walk at night >see a couple of girls sitting on a rock by the beach >sit nearby, start playing no surprises by radiohead >girls come up to me >"wow you play very well, what's your name?" >"oh, uh, i'm anon, nice to meet you!" >become their friends >they introduce me to their big friend group >fit right in >liked by the group >pull girl from the group, solid 6.5/10, from the netherlands

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No amount of muscles can hide your autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..

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Anon complains about women's media | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG > Be anime director / Manga creator > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add a cast of of skillful, sensitive, feminine looking men because that formula has always worked > create and publish the show > audience for the show is undeniably female > Be Hollywood > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add one male character who is assumed to appeal to the female audience > create and publish work > audience for the show is gay men Why is Hollywood so bad at accepting that the female market doesn't like the beefy, hyper masculine men the execs keep throwing at them?

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB PNG 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads No.52625171 >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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Anon hates his aunt | /r/Greentext

>go to aunt's house >starts shittalking about my long hair right when we meet at front door >uncle is a cuck he doesn't say anything >keeps saying long hair will suck intelligence out of brain that's why I go to a community college >ignore her until the family gathering dinner >when everyone is eating and chatting she says long hair is for gay people, raising her voice purposely and everyone can hear that 41 KB JPG >snap >tell her Jesus had long hair too >she's shocked and runs to kitchen crying but not before throwing the angry "how dare you?" with the cuckold uncle I win, I don't care if I go to hell tho

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Days Gone by | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 92 KB PNG 09/08/21 (Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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Anon was "found out" by his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/05/20(Sat)01:11:33 No.129919342 File: 1599187904873.jpg (54 KB, 908x666) >Mom found my gigachad folder >Says she saw a folder of buff half naked guys on my computer and asks if I'm gay

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Average Day in the Life of an American | /r/Greentext

Average Day in the Life of an (...) C 127 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)11:19:56 No.391967036 >Wake up in termite infested apartment >Pray to American flag for good fortune >Text from my boss says I have to come in for unpaid overtime because he's understaffed >Can't have breakfast because my landlord drank the last of the milk >Leaving the apartment I see a notice from the Hoa saying I will be fined if I don't put up my Official Coca-Cola™ Frosty the Snowman™ Light- Up Inflatable Christmas Decoration >Love that community spitit >Can't take my car to work because it got repossessed after I missed the 300th monthly installment of $499.99 >Cant walk to work because it's illegal >Have to take my wife's boyfriend's bicycle instead >On the way I see a woman shovelling dead children out of the local school >"Again?" I ask >She shrugs and says "Shall not be infringed." >As I'm turning onto 6379.53rd Street, I get driven off the road by a five (imperial) ton pickup truck billowing black smoke >A man wearing a camouflage shirt, camouflage cargo pants, camouflage boots, camouflage gloves and a camouflage cap with a camouflage American flag on it leans out of the window >"THE ROAD IS FOR CARS, F-----!" >Thank him for his service >An old woman finds me lying in a pool of my own blood >I beg her not to call an ambulance, but she doesn't seek English >Half way to the hospital they realise I don't have insurance and they kick me out on the freeway >Tip them with the $300 I keep on my person at all times >Crawl the rest of the way to the hospital >Don't have any money left to tip the doctors, so they spit in my IV >Get a text from my boss saying I'm fired because I missed the morning cheer >Nurse hands me a bill for $3,000,000 and a month's free trial of Opiodol™ >Salute the American flag on the way out >Get shot by the police for moving my hand too quickly >Thank Jesus that I was born in the only free country in the world

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Anon has a good day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 303 KB JPG 08/20/22(Sat) 10:49:49 No.69885894 >be me >extreme loner, work part time and study full time but still robot >leave hometown 18 months ago, don't see friends from then, hear from them maybe once or twice. >accept this is the sands of time and move on >today >phone rings, it's a friend from hometown who I used to get wasted with, assume it's just a f----around but answer it anyway >"Hey anon, anonson and I are going to see the new Dragon Ball tonight, we're coming by to get you in two hours" >go out and watch film with friends >plot was meh, animation was decent but was just happy to see friends >they're happy to see me, tell me they've missed having me around and shower me with booze and have many laughs >it was a good day There's no point to this thread, I just wanted to share that today was a good day. : Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)10:54:08 No.69885920 Feel u bro. My friends are what keep me from depression and the knowledge that at least one female was interested in me at some point keeps me sane :3

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Pride after the fall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)20:00:10 No.69888024 >Be 5"9 baldie male who's sub8 in every department except blue eyes >Standing at crowded bus terminal >Women are all giving me dirty looks except for a few who are absorbed into their phones >One lady in particular is giving me the devil's eye so hard that it feels like I'm actually becoming cursed 40 KB PNG >Pretty normal day for someone like me when I get the idea to go exist for a bit (huge problem) >Get a hug from my boyfriend >Suddenly the dirty looks are gone and even the witch has stopped paying attention >One of them is even smiling at me now

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Anon scares alpha males | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cool ZONE 04/17/21 (Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 465 KB PNG >be me >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >I'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?' >panic >shout 'F--- OFF!' >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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