Anon gets introduced to the bidet masterrace | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

1h (1/13 1:35) 870574284 22 Re-12 Img JPG 575KB (1125 x 1085) ITT: S--- stories, I'll start >be me >have really bad intestines >s--- ~5 times a day, always painful >staying in japan overnight due to flight cancellation >room I'm staying in has a bidet built into the toilet >it even self-cleans, h-------- >never used a bidet, decide to give it a try >get surprised by a jet of icy toilet juices shooting into my ass >not just against it, INTO it >my colon is filled with water >feels like I haven't s--- in a week >push it all out - including s--- I wasn't able to push out before >feel a lot emptier >huh.jpg >try it again, less surprised this time so I relax my butthole >blow out even more s--- >haven't felt this good in months >still feel something, so fire volley #3 >this time, I s--- out water that's brown-red >something plugs the hole >water building behind it >feels like I'm about to force a golf ball out >push with all my might >feel my ancestors lend me their strength in my time of need >finally feel it come barreling out of me at Mach 2 >spherical, black turd fires out of my ass like a musket ball >sounded like someone fired a 120mm howitzer into a bathtub >turd hits bottom of toilet with enough force to make a clank >feels like I dropped the soap >sit there for a few minutes, letting out 10-second farts >occasionally sputter and squirt molten brimstone >the bowl looks like someone loaded Nutella into a blunderbuss >the smell is unlike any other s--- I've had >like sulfur and blood, with a hint of rotten flesh >the funk of 40,000 years >toilet water spills out of me like some f----- up toilet hentai >but I have never felt f------ better >mfw years of bowel problems get cured by power washing my shitpipe >mfw the toilet thanks me in japanese >mfw that f----- cleans itself, leaving no remnant of the Siege of Bungholia I dream of the day I can recreate that s---, but it has yet to come. Someday, /b/ros.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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