Anon took the clussypill | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: clown.png (1001 KB, 482x768) you idiots embarrassed me so much Anonymous 07/18/22(Mon)17:34:24 No.69456825 >>69456860 >>69456907 >>69456923 >>69456941 >>69457023 >>69457753 > see all of this clussy posting > somwhat experience escourt user, say f--- it > find a 6/10 greek looking girl who seemed weirded out but would do it for some additional money > book extra time to allow her to get all the makeup and nose on, lots of umcomfortable silence > she looks at it, half-assed white makeup covering her whole body, cheap amazon red clown nose own, and weird curly wig > eye makeup actually spot on though > .."is this what you wanted" she says uncertainly > Y-yes. Lets go. > I lay her back on the bed, sheets immediately destroyed by leaking/cheap makeup, don't care. > try to unbutton the weird clown getup, end up tearing it off like a retard > nice t---, though licking them is met with the chalky white clown makeup past and isn't that enjoyable > its smaered everywhere now and has kind of this thick chemical smell > press on to eat her out - thankfully not too much makeup down here, but not really shaved well and kinda smelly. quickly finish, both with her vag taste and chemical makeup taste lingering > ask for a b------ >probably the best bit of this whole shitshow, ignoring the smearing makeup, she manages to keep the nose on and the curly wig right and it really was a clown girl bj, 8/10. > finally, when asked to f---, she just plopped down costume and all, stomache down and said to have at it, she was tired > so the next 30 mins was just me plowing from behind in full clown makeup, occasionally honking the nose horn which made us both laugh. >Times up, she says "I've have weirder, lets meet again and plan a little better next time." >mfw clussy

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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why the germs like this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 0d7SivZo) Are we the most retarded count(...) 03/28/22(Mon)17:08:24 No.369787927 gmny.png 20 KB PNG Cu >shuts off all nuclear power plants >shuts off coal power plants >doesn't invest in renewable energy anymore >builds gas power plants >builds nord stream 2 to immediately kill it >stops importing Russian gas >???

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anon fucked up real bad | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG > be me, 20 y/o virgin > extremely horny and determined to graduate from being a wizard > ask my class slut with a fat ass whether i can f--- her > $300 > peepohappy.jpg > started a nofap challenge > we met at a motel 4 days later > eat and tongue f--- her ass the moment we are behind the door > coomed 5 minutes in just by eating her out > realised i did not bring any condoms > ask whether i can go in raw > she refused > ask to pay extra $100 if i can f--- and cream in her ass > $300 > busted my fattest nut ever after 2 minutes of f------ > The best 30 minutes in my life > She asked if she could took a picture of my c--- because she wanted to masturbate to it > I refused > she proposed we can have another sexy time free of charge > ok.jpg > The next day she showed my d--- pic to the whole class > mfw i have a 6 inches pp > mfw everyone knows i paid $600 for sex What do i do bros? I f----- up real bad

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Anon is worried about Linux | /r/Greentext

File: 1633819305118.png (17 KB, 600x500) Anonymous 07/18/22(Mon)04:42:03 No.87778433 >>87778470 >>877 >>87778564 >>87778602 >>87778793 >>87778847 >>87778928 >>87778946 >>87778985 >>87779067 >>87779380 >>87779475 >>87780555 >>87780640 >>87780878 >>87781047 >>87781051 >>87781425 >>87782041 >Apple makes an ARM laptop >fast forward >Microsoft makes an ARM laptop >fast forward >all laptop OEMs start making ARM laptops >fast forward >laptops OEMs look at phone OEMs like Apple and like how they can deprecate their old models to force repurchase after 1 year >they follow suit by locking their BIOS and bootloaders >no way to install linux on your average joe's laptop now >neckbeards rage and scream >99.999% the market doesn't give a s--- so it becomes the norm >Linux userbase starts shrinking fast as f--- since no new user would ever buy some System76 laptop just to try out linux and the only laptops at BestBuy and Walmart are locked down google/apple/ms ARMshit laptops >no new apps, no new drivers, no updates to broken code >Linux is f------ dead

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Anon gives birth to alien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/22(Mon)22:58:56 No.882274654 Screenshot_20220718-155625_Gallery~2.jpg 114 KB JPG Any med f--- here can explain what the hell I keep scoping out of my ears? Is this normal or am I dying? Paper clip for size 2 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous : Anonymous 07/18/22(Mon)23:01:41 No.882274845 you haven't cleaned your ears out in a while, did any fluid come with it? View Thread 07/18/22(Mon) 23:01:45 No.882274853 20220718_160055.jpg 1.68 MB JPG Op here. Close up for diagnosis.

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Anon loves his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/14.00.10 No.004173330 >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are 85 KB JPG >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you."

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Anon REALLY likes Nintendo Land | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/20(Tue)18:58:50 No.509841550 20200326_134752_2.png 2.35 MB PNG What's your Nintendo Land collection looking like? I can express mine as the sum of the first 7 powers of 2.

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Anon is incredibly horny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 07/18/22(Mon)14:37:45 No.69459233 >be me >had gf who liked pokemon >ended up splitting up but not big deal >only issue is i feel touch starved and incredibly pent up and horny at random intervals >one day i see a video of a chick making a makeshift sex toy out of a single rubber glove >this sets my sex receptors ablaze >spend the next 10 minutes trying to follow the steps with a glove myself and failing >glance around the room for any other creative ways to get off >still have this vaporeon plush from amazon i was planning to give her since it was her favorite >every day since it arrived it has been sitting on my shelf >i would f------ never >immediately realize i will never give it to my ex >something inside me instantly snaps >in a red haze i immediately cut through some stitches with scissors and start scooping out enough stuffing to fit >use the same glove i was trying to make a sex toy with and lube it up with lotion >start f------ the living s--- out of the plush >all of this happened within the space of 3 minutes >feels really good, followed by the worst post nut i have ever experienced >cleanup was easy, just tossed the glove, threw away the stuffing >but now i have a vaporeon plush >with a giant f------ crotch hole in it >still in my closet not even a joke. dunno what to do with it. i know this is like a huge meme or whatever but i never imagined i would be horny enough to actually carry it out. have i somehow managed to surpass rock bottom?

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Anon goes to the Lego museum | /r/Greentext

659,5 kB PNG >be me >23 polish f-- >Go for a trip to Czech Republic and visit LEGO museum near German border >Watch some Lego and find a table with Legos laying freely to make what u want >I'm alone (just my gf is near) >Table is for really small children with a red circle on each corner used as base for structures (it had those little bumps to attach Legos to it) >Sit anyway >Make large swastika with gf >Cover it with Legos >BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED >German mommy, daddy and little Laura come in >Parents watching Legos while Laura sat at the table >She's sitting at the very corner >She uncovers it >She's 5 or sth - probably doesn't know what swastika is >Her mother aproaches her 1 min later >Hide behind a shelf trying to cover laugh >LAURA, WAS IST DAS????????????? >Laura is being dragged by her mother out of the museum >They storm out faster than it takes for a n---- to steal a bike >Mfw Is Laura getting grounded because of me? Pic rel but I didn't have time to make picture of swastika

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Anon wears his sunglasses at night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 167 KB JPG 2 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous 124 KB JPG 07/18/22(Mon)11:27:53 No.69458375 Why the f--- right pair of sunglasses makes a 3/10 guy at least 7/10? 90 KB JPG : Astro !KXZDMIdjKo View Thread 07/18/22(Mon)11:30:14 No.69458396 >>69458375 (OP) # it doesnt. the right shoes, clothes, haircut, watch, cologne, sunglasses, etc dont. 07/18/22(Mon)11:36:59 No.69458457 >>69458375 (OP) # It just does

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Anon sumarizes the John Oliver experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48 KB JPG 09/02/19(Mon)14:00:05 No.120427931 >"Trump being President is like a SQUIRREL riding a skateboard." *image of squirrel photoshopped onto skateboard appears, audience laughs* >"It's entertaining for a few minutes, but then you start to wonder how the F--- it got there!" *audience explodes into laughter and applause* *Oliver turns to image of squirrel* >"That's not a good way to find nuts, Chirpy. Get a real job, you're parents are worried!" *camera cuts to man in audience wearing a squirrel costume and holding a skateboard as he gives Oliver the middle finger and walks off, audience gives standing ovation*

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Anon is skeptical | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: iFksPy0T are tardigrades even native to(...) 324 KB JPG >temperatures 07/18/22(Mon)12:36:05 No.387319575 Can survive in the following conditions: >pressure of 6,000 atmospheres, about 6x the pressure compared to the deepest point of the ocean >the vacuum of space >temperatures as cold as 1 degree above absolute zero hot enough to exceed the boiling point of water >radiation 100x higher than the lethal dose for a human >without water for 100 years or more. Is able to enter a dehydrated dormant state and re-enter a hydrated state once they make contact with water. Why would any organism evolve to survive such conditions if they only evolved on Earth? Organisms will only evolve to survive in conditions that they are required to live in. There's no logical explanation for the fact that they can survive the pressure of 6,000 atmospheres, the vacuum of space, without water for 100 years, in extreme temperatures, absurdly high levels of radiation. They also have no known related species and has it's own phylum which is pretty unusual. They HAVE to be f------ aliens or some s---. 68 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon gets scammed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5-hour ENERGY REGULAR STRENGTH 31 KB JPG 03/25/19(Mon)21:56:22 No.795913984 >be me, on deathbed from terminal cancer >drink 5 hour energy >die 2 hours later What the f---?

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