If(cringe)=post | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Java Sun Microsystems 15 KB PNG : Anonymous } 12/30/15(Wed)13:20:20 No.52136895 Let's write a Java program, one line per post. public class 4chan { 12/30/15(Wed)13:22:04 No.52136914 >>52137050 # >>52137154 # >>52137176 # >>52137440 # >>52139445 # >>52139611 # >>52139839 # >>52139845 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Contingency plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 44 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat)04:08:25 No.69430745 >be me >talking to friend that I have known since preschool >tell him that I have a crush on him and have had one for a couple of years >he replies "when desperate times roll around" why? why even live? : Anonymous >>69430745 (OP) # if woman = true: print('t--- or gtfo') else : print('OP is a f-----') 07/16/22(Sat)05:48:49 No.69431279

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anon loves movies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)15:42:13 No.69425827 >>69425580 >work at Italian restaurant >qt black girl starts >super cool, friendly to me but I don't think anything of it >one day she's talking about Neverending Story, I say I've never seen it >offers to bring it over and we can watch it together >clueless.jpeg >really enjoying the movie and glad I made a new friend >then it happened >she gets right up next to me, kisses my neck >realize what her true intentions are >think ok we can make out a little I guess >would like to get to know her be- >she's on my lap >unzips d--- >happens so fast I can't get a word in >she rides me to completion >take her home, she looks pleased >I'm in shock, trying to process what just happened >didn't even finish the movie

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"True love stories never have endings." | /r/Greentext

File: luisa-ventura-snirot-blush.jpg (56 KB, 600x600) OO Anonymous 07/16/22(Sat) 17:04:19 No.882131580 [Reply] ► >me, 21 >work on a beach as a lifeguard+beach cleaner >40 yo looking woman comes almost daily >hot as f---. Curvy with a HUGE (but round and firm) ass, thicc legs and wide meaty soles (red nail polish) >she always calls me over for small talk >she always chooses the beach bed that is closer to me >she calls me ,,baby, honey, dear, love etc" >she caught me looking at her multiple times and that makes her giggle >i can't help but get extremely erect around her (she is the hottest woman that i ever saw) i always try to hide it but i see her looking at it (my c---) And grin at me. >overheard her talking to another women, saying that she is divorced. Anons, i think that i am in love. Is her the mommy gf of my dreams? Should i make a move?

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/v/ discusses Bayonetta 3's new Naive Angel mode | /r/Greentext

7h (7/15 10:25). 605873427 319 Re 51 Img JPG 727KB (1125 × 1196) 82 Replies . Bayonetta 3 on Switch will include an optional "put on more clothes" mode "Naive Angel Mode" designed for "play right in the living room" around children. by Kyle Orland - Jul 13, 2022 12:37pm EST Login to bookmark Naive Angel Mode OFF 7h (7/15 10:26) · 605873518 11 Replies 104 >>605873427 (OP) >NA Mode kek ON Optional censorship How do we feel about this? Personally I think it's probably the best compromise we can get with lewd games going forward. : :

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ANON IS SAD | /r/Greentext

582.jpg, 154KiB, 1600x1064 Anonymous Wed 13 Jul 2022 19:18:46 No.69400428 View >Be me >Cafeteria at work has actual chefs and s--- making me tendies >Specials are always really good, straganoff, gumbo, street style tacos, spaghetti with homemade pasta and meat balls, eggs benedict >Fast foward to 2022 >"Food shortages and s---" yeah whatever, shut up >Special at work is just a boring salad >Wherels The Gumbo.wav >Whatever, tomorrow's special will be good >Tomorrow's special is just tater tots with liquid cheese and some stinky ground beef >Are You FuckingJoking.gif >Next day it's salad with rice >WhoPuts Rice OnASalad.pdf >For 2 months is just been salad and tater tots Should I kill myself I miss my short rib stroganoff gamers

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Anon doesn't seem to hold a high opinion about plebbitors | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)06:55:42 No.859101533 Jobn't ... 12 Awards 42.8k FFDBC823-AA78-49CF-97F5-21AFCC78FFE2.jpg 52 KB JPG >oh boy time to buy gold to tell a fellow Redditor that he did a goodthink

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Riddle me this Anon. | /r/Greentext

$: Anonymous 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 84 KB JPG I'm loud and obnoxious I like music that rhymes I'm a fraction of the population But i commit half the crimes 07/16/22(Sat)01:52:21 No.69430998 Who am i? : Anonymous >>69430998 (OP) # his cellmates kek >>69430998 (OP) # Clearly not somebody who Lanzamaxxes. : Anonymous >>69430998 (OP) # What is a jew? 07/16/22(Sat)01:52:52 No.69431001 07/16/22(Sat)01:57:16 No.69431023 07/16/22(Sat)02:01:18 No.69431045$

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Anon LITERALLY can't lose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7bjbHgk/) 07/16/22(Sat)12:17:12 No.50387660 Children are so difficult! Close >be me >all in crypto >check portfolio after months >get really sad >remember that I'm still a straight white male >instantly feel better

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Room service | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be college student >3 months summer break >isolate myself only leaving my room to get groceries >female flatmate asks me what I am doing >tell her I am cultivating a small depression with enough apathy to pass time but not enough to kill myself >she starts crying >mfw she is now asking me how I am on a daily basis What the f--- is wrong with normies (women)? 41 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)09:53:09 No.69432858 >>69432931 # : Anonymous Bait but still >Literally say you're thinking about suicide >Surprised when they ask how you're doing 07/16/22(Sat)09:56:14 No.69432885 07/16/22(Sat) 09:56:58 No.69432893 07/16/22(Sat)09:57:05 No.69432895 : Anonymous : Anonymous >>69432858 (OP) # OP can you sneak into her room and provide pictures of her panties Thanks in advance

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Anon is all sussin and no bussin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 74 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)09:32:32 No.882130404 >be me, 22 >get tinder and hinge >age limit 18-21 >90% women are lgbtqia-aA+ >they said teaching kids h--- sex in school won't turn them homos >it did >my whole generation is just an alphabet soup How do I escape the gay /b/ I don't want it

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Anon takes the V pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 73 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat)17:27:46 No.882132533 >have a s----- lonely life >will never have friends, a girlfriend, a good happy life >one day dream about having a girlfriend >she is extremely cute, after i wake up, i am both happy from the dream and sad that its over >i start dreaming about her or other girls in the next nights >also dream that i have a lot of friends, cool cars, yachts, even superpowers >start meditating before sleeping to influence my dreams >learn lucid dreaming to improve it >after a few months, i became a true dream director >i can now create my own reality in my dreams >spend up to 16 hours sleeping >at this point, my real life feels like a nightmare and my dreams like the life i deserve why havent you taken the dream pill yet anons?

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Anon wants to buy Battletoads | /r/Greentext

ile: 1342157412115.jpg-(56 KB. 445x599, ps.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 96q1xtFL) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:32:48 No.411885919 >"gold and silver" >oh man I didnt know you guys are still open >...."yeah we are" >oh okay, im looking for battletoads >"not s--- s--- again, its 11:00 at night" >click Anonymous (ID: 96q1xtFL) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:34:59 No.411886329 File: 1342157699363.png-(114 KB, 200x190, jimmies 16.png) Try to rustle my jimmies again m----------- Anonymous (ID: MIXLgTKx) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:36:00 No.411886517 >gold and silver >"hey I'm really into antiques you guys got any battletoads?" >yeah go to our ebay site we got a handheld one by Tiger >"oh sweet man thanks" Anonymous (ID: KNEOUSjL) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:30:12 No.411885328 >Prank Call pawn stars from history channel >They're open 24/7 >Ask for battletoads >They always rage >lulz will be had >> Anonymous (ID: 96q1xtFL) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:30:29 No.411885392 (702) 385-7912 >press 4 >yep >"bye >click Anonymous (ID: U+S/32YA) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:45:12 No.411888367 >"gold and silver" >Hi, I'm an antique video game collector and I'm looking for a very old, extremely rare title >"if you say Battletoads I'm going to call the cops" >What's with your discrimination on battletoads? >hangs up Anonymous (ID: 10qQE9pk) 07/13/12 (Fri)01:55:23 No.411890545 >hello gold and silver >hello, I'm calling from Texas and I'm interested in purchasing a certain Super Bowl ring >absolutely sir! what team and what year >(boring conversation about the ring) >Are you interested in completing the purchase of the ring this evening? >Yes, but I have a question first >Yes sir? >Does it come with BATTLETOADS!? >click Anonymous (ID: CBN2x14W) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:06:37 No.411892770 >Gold and silver! >Hey do you guys have any signed bat- >What the hell is wrong with you nerds? Calling asking for battle toads not funny or original like are you serious dude? really man? >...bats....signed bats, like from the MLB mainly the NY Yankees or the Mets, maybe even the Dodgers...what were you saying about battle toads though? >Oh sorry sir we're just getting a bunch of prank phone calls lately >Oh that's weird... people have no lives right? (haha)...anyway, do you guys have any signed bats from the Boston Battletoads? >Are you f------ kidding me dude >click Anonymous (ID: CjDOiaMp) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:09:31 No.411893323 >gold and silver >Hey i was wondering if you had the wii matt >yeah we've got it >does it work with webbed feet? >what? >does it come with battletoads Anonymous (ID: 10qQE9pk) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:24:10 No.411895769 Trying it again >Gold and Silver >Hello, I have a few quick questions about. >This better not be about battletoads. >Excuse me? I needed to ask about a sword I've been looking for. >I'm sorry sir, we've just been getting a lot of prank calls tonight. What exactly are you looking for? >It's a very old sword, it is also very small. It fits in a BATTLETOADS hand perfectly. >F--- you >click Anonymous (ID: 7TTI0kdH) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:27:55 No.411896409 >Gold and silver >Hil -- >This better not be about battle toads, im losing patience kid >ummm no its not... what's a battletoad? >its some game everyone is calling about tonight >battletoads? yea that sounds good ill take one if you got it click nonymous (ID: pFk+WkJY) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:31:58 No.411897092 >Gold and Silver >Hi how are you? >What can I do for you? >I'm a book dealer, you have antiques? >What you for? >You have anything from Philip K. D---? >Maybe, whats the title? >Battling on Toad Planet >*click* Callback, cause I'm an a------ >You hung up on me. >Who is this? >*click* >The customer you hung up on. That is horrible customer service. >Listen, we don't have time for your pranks f------ kids. >Pranks? What the hell did you just say to me? I'll have you know I'm prior military, 82nd Airborne "Battle Toads". I do.. >*click* One more time for good measure >Gold and pawn >BATTLETOADS Anonymous (ID: 5iLX8qBG) 07/13/12(Fri)02:40:31 No.411898453 >Gold and Silver >Hey, I'm looking for an engagement ring for my girlfriend. >You are going to have o call back during the day, we don't do any sales after 9 >Oh, well is there any way I can ask you a couple questions? >Sure, shoot. >I want a memorable ring, maybe something from a movie or a game >mhm >Oh! Do you guys have the ring from Battletoads? >-sigh-f------ really, man? You must be giving that to a guy. His insults are amazing Anonymous (ID: rYFKkn5U) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:40:40 No.411898474 >Gold and Silver >Hi, I was calling to inquire about an antique hand-gun >Sure, what's the name of the gun you're looking for, exactly? >1912 9 millimeter battletoad hand- click Anonymous (ID: g8ArJkJF) 07/13/12 (Fri)02:41:06 No.411898550 >Gold and Silver >Hello this is the Las Vegas police department my name is Officer Peterson. My office recieved a call from someone here saying that your store was being Harrassed by someone repeatedly asking for uh "Battletoads?" >Uh sorry sir but I Dont remember calling you can you give me the name of who did? >Yes his name was Le Reddit >Sorry...who was it again? >His name was Austin Russel >He isnt in right now....what was your name again? >Officer Battletoad >Hang up Anonymous (ID: +7ZokLvE) 07/13/12 (Fri)03:07:59 No.411902870 >Gold and Silver >Hey I was wondering if you deal in rare books? >Lemmie guess you want a Battletoad instruction book?? >Excuse me?? >Nevermind. Lot of prank calls tonight >Pfft. kids in the summertime can't find anything else better to do, eh? >Yeah, well we don't really deal in books but we do have some here. What are you looking for? >Do you happen to have anything by Hemmingway? "Old Man And The Sea" perhaps? >I don't think so... you'd have to call during the daytime or come in to find out. >Ah... OK. Well I also have one i'd like to sell off. It's a signed J.K. Rowling first print >The Harry Potter author? >Yeah I had one of her books signed by her. "Harry Potter And The Order Of The Battletoad" >You f----- kidding m- >Click im still laughing

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