anon missed his chance | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: soylent.png (7 KB, 227x222) Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)23:05:30 No.69374951 >>69375001 >>69375312 >>69375327 >>69375550 >get home >put groceries away >go to wash hands >look in mirror >i forgot to shave half of my face >be me >have to go to grocery store >regular store is too busy >leave for a more quiet one >not familiar with the layout >kind of just wander around the store looking for what i need >two cute girls are shopping together >tall brunette, and shorter girl with black hair >cross paths with them 10+ times while shopping >90% sure the brunette is checking me out >she kind of has a cutesy grin like how a fat kid would smile when he sees an unattended slice of cake >think nothing of it, im probably delusional >get to the self-checkout (store does not have cashiers anymore) >they're at the one across from me >brunette is fumbling her s--- from staring at me

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

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Anon doesn't know how to use the three seashells | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)17:51:39 No.167640156 >visit friend's house >go use restroom >see the three seashells >>167640256 # >>167640259 # >>167640394 # >>167640631 # >>167641312 # >>167641623 #

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Anon visits webpages in 2022 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon) 20:52:44 No.69371086 >2005 >Go to online store webpage >Search for the item you want >Checkout >2022 >Go to online store webpage >This website uses cookies. Allow cookies? >Allow >Allow this website to know your location? >Block >Allow this website to send notifications? >Block >Popup covering screen appears. Enter your email now for 10% off! >Close popup >Fake chat appears, Jill would like to assist you >Close chat >Finally get to the search bar, start entering text >Javascript wasn't finished loading, search bar gets deselected halfway through typing >Click the search bar again, finish typing, hit enter >Item you want appears, try to click it >More javascript loads before you click, the page rearranges itself, now you've clicked something else >Close webpage and toss monitor out the window

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Anon almost gets an emo girlfriend in high school | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NY5FQLAZ 07/10/22(Sun)12:04:45 No.386155804 >>386156395 >>386156632 >>386157287 >>386157439 >>386157669 >>386158862 >>386159185>>386160288 >>386160546 >>386165972 >>386169213 >>386169307 >>386172291 >>386173207 >>386174596 >be in HS >sit next to quiet emo girl >qtpie af >flirt and chitchat everyday >shes obv coming around >"didnt see you the last few days, whats up" >"oh yea, i was having bad anxiety attacks" >immediately ghost her as a crazy one good side of mentally deficient zoomies nowadays is that they display all the red flags you could ever possibly need WAYY up front. never d--- up crazy, not even for fun

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Anon remembers childhood anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: r6MEQdhc File: 077.png (365 KB, 646x595) 07/10/22(Sun)13:57:23 No.386170364 >>386172118 >>386156215 >Be young you >at grocery store, in line >"Oh shoot!" Mom says "I forgot something" >"Dont go anywhere, I'll be right back" >Beep.....beep.....beep beep >Conveyer belt moving forward >beep beep.....beep >Inching towards the checkout lady >....beep....beep >each beep like a hollow death knell >Mom still isn't back yet >beep...........beep

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"Heating Camps" Live Stream Reality Show, Sponsored by Nord VPN | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20220711_102030.jpg Europe on edge as Nord Stream set for planned shut-down, forever By Nina Chestery and Vera Eckert (841 KB, 1440x2069) Germany building Heating Camps: Anonymous (ID: Cs8Voitk) 07/11/22(Mon)08:27:02 No.386239686 ► >>386239790 >>386240131 >>386240160 >>386240250 >>386240395 >>386240457 >>386240514 >>386240580 >>386240609 >>386240836 >>386241005 >>386241066 >>386241409 >>386241462 >>386241851 >>386241922 >>386242075 >>386242563 >>386242681 >>386242784 >>386243837 >>386243839 >In preparation for gas shortages this winter, German cities are building Heating Camps where citizens can be concentrated, so they need not freeze to death. >This move is necessary, as the government is going forward with shutting down all remaining Nuclear Power plants come fall in order to save C02 and prevent the planet from over-heating. Coal plants will be used in their stead. Thank you, our benevolent leaders, for your mercy and foresight. Anonymous (ID: VJSKOZA0 )! 07/11/22(Mon)08:27:46 No.386239731 >>386239790 >>386239812 >>386240140 Why don't you just fire Auschwitz back up? Anonymous (ID: zOjdhoeq) 07/11/22(Mon)08:28:30 No.386239790 >>386239731 >>386239686 (OP) With the cold setting in, students are gonna be miserable, they will need camps to concentrate in Anonymous (ID: K/pGLSeg 07/11/22(Mon)08:28:44 No.386239812 >>386239955 >>386240925 >>386243829 >>386239731 Have you seen the gas prices lately?

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anon had an interaction with a tourist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous KELANEY 21 KB JPG 07/10/22(Sun)19:53:33 No.881763153 >cicadas >what? >hi where supermarket? >uuuuh uhm huum turn Right and um then go straight until uuhm you reach the uhuuhh the old rails and turn left >left here right? >right yes uhm where car passed away >I thank you very much >nonono follow me it's uh other way follow Start walking >ci-cicada >I don't understand can you repeat >cicada very loud >ah yes yes every summer loud >here is road to store >ah thank you you come long way I thank you >no problem no problem here store bye The above was a diaologue I just had with a tourist asking me where the local supermarket was. I was stumbling for words until I eventually told them to follow me all the way to the store Why don't the teach us functional instead of academically oriented English at school?

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Anon Likes Coffee | /r/Greentext

>drank 2 liters of coffee >vision starts to be VHS quality How much time do i have left? B

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Anon likes a girl | /r/Greentext

1h (7/11 20:12). 881832408 47 Re. 2 Img JPG 228KB (973 × 2048) 17 Replies >be me >24 year old >never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl >actually meet a girl while swimming weekly laps >she laughs at my stupid jokes, likes the same movies, same music : >actually looks pretty cute too >I don't know if I'm falling in love with her but I really start to look forward to weekly swimming sessions just to see her >thinking about asking her out to a movie some day >only one problem >she says she's 16 Can I do this? Not like, legally, it's legal in my country I think but ethically, is this ok? I don't even want to have sex with her, just a date or a hug would be enough...

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Anon's girlfriend is an immense slut. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID:OXWZUY/J) /b/543361530 Whoa.jpg (550x367) 113kB No. 543361530 26 62m My drunk ass girlfriend just told me that she's had sex with over a two hundred guys. She said, >>543361530 "I was a real slut in college. You Anonymous (DzZuJ9) forgive me, don't' you baby?" Whoa. And then she passed out with her head in my lap. Post pics. 200 other guys have seen her too. Why not share with your bros at last. Anonymous (ID:FicJTacb) We've been in a relationship for over two years and live together. We don't use condoms. What do? No. 543364546 28 26m 100 thrusts per session * 3 sessions * 11 inches (5.5 inches in, 5.5 inches out) = 3300 inches of d--- per week. 200 weeks * 3300 inches of d--- per week = 660000 inches of d---, which is 10.42 miles. Anonymous (ID:cjsy7U79) Anonymous (ID:7DNGKDiB) >>543361530 >I was a real slut in college. 4 years * 364 days/year / 200 guys = a new guy every 7.3 days. Since it was over two hundred guys, let's just make it a nice even 1 guy every week. Given that she probably had sex with each guy an average of 3 times, and the average d--- was probably the national average Nerd. of 5.5 inches, and it probably took an average of 100 thrusts per session to c--, we're looking at Your girlfriend has had 10.42 miles of d--- inside her. Get in your car, and drive 10.42 miles, and think of d---- laid end-to-end the whole way. She's had that much d---. She's a high-mileage slut, and her snatch has no user- serviceable parts. 064.gif (290x189) 1.04MB Anonymous (ID:ibHnrlm6) >>543369204 I think it's just as bad if you find out on your own. No. 543369451 man 1397597854671.jpg (1536x2048) 877kB Anonymous (ID:Heaven) >>543364546 >I don't even >>543362498 TOP KEK gj ass for you 1395631099136.jpg (524x492) 26kB Anonymous (ID:NM6Cv0dF) >>543364546 yeeeeee.... 200 hundred dudes is a lot 1000880 145426558991837_6824275_ n.jpg (575x305) 23kB >>543364546 Anonymous (ID:7wWTX4/X) >>543364546 Jesus Christ dude Anonymous (ID:RJVVUDEL) >>543364546 maths of chan win Anonymous (ID:pi7BN5qP) >>543364546 we need more of this Anonymous (DASSJ8PP6) >>543364546 10/thread No. 543369335 >>543364546 #lawered No. 543369358 No. 543365157 No. 543365184 Hey Op, quick question. HOW MANY D---- HAS SHE SUCKED?? Anonymous (ID:Rsr7qh5e) >>543361530 Congrats. You have STD's. Anonymous (ID:S1AEMilu) is she hot? that's all that matters. No. 543365053 No. 543364960 >think about that the next time she tries to kiss you No. 543364967 No. 543364981 No. 543364867 No. 543364902 3h 1 3h No. 543364920 3h 4h 24h >>543364546 4h 4h Anonymous (ID:4Fk/6Aps) >Your girlfriend has had 10.42 miles of d--- inside her. 4h I can't stop laughing. Anonymous (D.3JBHWIS) >>543364546 Hahaha you've killed me Anonymous (ID:Fudb6PX) >>543364546 10/10 Anonymous (ID:JPCOSCLD) 4h >>543364546 topkek 14h F------ 10/10 post. 4h 10.42 miles of c---. Damn. Anonymous (ID:Es4Glp9H) >>543364546 4h No. 543364782 1 4h No. 543364814 1 4h No. 543364671 4h No. 543364735 14h No. 543364743 1 4h

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Anon is a stalker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)15:59:57 No.881827973 78 KB JPG Am I legally doing anything wrong? > Caught my ex cheating 6 years ago > Broke up on the spot > All her socials are public > Been looking up her new boyfriends (11) since me > Messaged all of them > Showed them screenshots and audio tapes of her confessions > They all broke up with her FFW to Yesterday > Number 11 just showed her the door > She calls me > Tells me to stop stalking her and ruining her life > Tell her that she brought that upon herself > Says she will call the cops if I do this one more time > Tell her she needs a priest rather than a lawyer at this point I feel like I'm doing God's work here. Should I continue doing this? Even if she goes private, she doesn't know I still have 3 mutual contacts that could snitch her new boyfriend's identity to me. She literally can't win. It's not illegal to know who is dating who and to send someone a message. It's not like I'm messaging her, I'm messaging her new boyfriends. I wanna patrol this w---- until either of us is in the casket. I just wanna know how legal it is to do that.

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