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: Anonymous >be me at 24 years old >Going over to girls house for sexual experience >She wants me to eat her ass >I accept naturally being the disgusting freak that I was 78 KB JPG >My face is planted between her cheeks >She says she needs to adjust because that position feels funny >I stay attached like a magnet >I feel a giant warm stream fall all over my face and scream >She starts crying and apologizing >Me being the nicest guy at the time said that it was fine but I needed a shower >I took the longest shower I'd ever taken in my life to wash all of the s--- off >She comes into the bathroom and proceeds to throw up all over the place >I tell her I have to leave I haven't talked to her in weeks, should I call her? 06/06/22(Mon)14:21:57 No.879631321 EXPLICIT CONTENT

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon doesn’t understand | /r/Greentext

06/07/22 (Tue)07:00:31 No.67081872 Anonymous doing everything right: >hit the gym a couple times a week >clean diet >1.5/2.5/3/4 54 KB JPG >cut down to 10% bodyfat >stil look f------ yoked >haven't showered in months for pheromone gains >succesful career >wear nice clothes >nice haircut >generally friendly guy with natural charisma basically: i'm lifemaxxing but anytime I get a date on tinder they will leave in a matter of minutes. What the f--- am I doing wrong? Am I too big? or too small? : Anonymous 06/07/22(Tue)07:04:31 No.67081905 >>67081872 (OP) # autistic, anon, you're autistic >>67082078 #

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Anons parents hate him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous namelet thread 83 KB PNG 10/27/21 (Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD

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Anon realizes Skittle's ulterior motive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous PRIDE EDITION FAMILY SIZE 05/22/20 (Fri)19:21:22 No.58286746 S 80 Fruits Skittles During Pride only one mainbows S matters AWA #onerainbors TOTALLYTHEBOMB.COM Skittles Is Removing The Color From Their Candies In Support Of Pride Month and I Want Some 1590184161939.jpg 668 KB JPG >skittles make "pride skittles" by removing the colored ones >whites only >it literally says SS on the candy you can't make this s--- up S 'N

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Anon Buys a Girly Mask | /r/Greentext

File: C41E70CC-0E48-41FA-9D37-C(...).png (285 KB, 1000x800) Anonymous 11/03/20 (Tue)07:38:09 No.60747141 [Reply] >buy girly mask >throw it on the side of my car where it can be seen >give mom a ride >sees the mask >"oh anon whos the lucky girl?" >say its a friend >parents no longer think I'm a virgin loser Who /highiqintellectual/ here? + 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 11/03/20 (Tue)08:47:28 No.60747735 ► >>60747141 (OP) >>buy girly mask ha f-----

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Found on r/me-irl. Hope you enjoy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB JPG 03/31/21 (Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it View Thread

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Anon has no tits... yet | /r/Greentext

File: Sadayo_Kawakami_P5_Animation.png (870 KB, 1485x1440) >been on female hormones for a few weeks now and my n------ ache badly all day Ever let a lie get out of control robots? Anonymous 06/06/22(Mon)11:49:20 No.68936174 >>68936189 >>68936166 (OP) >been on female hormones for a few weeks now and my n------ ache badly all day T--- or gtfo Anonymous 06/06/22(Mon)11:50:26 No.68936189 >>68936225 >>68936174 I don't have t--- yet >68936174 Anonymous 06/06/22(Mon)11:48:25 No.68936166 >>68936197 >>68936215 >got caught with my mom's underwear >lied and said I was exploring gender issues that I've kept secret >my mom is unexpectedly supportive >shows immense interest, love, and support for me with an intensity she's never had before >loves taking me to get my nails done and other girl s--- >keep telling her that I'm into it >this has gone on for months >mom wondering why I'm not taking more serious steps to be the real me' >just say I'm scared to >she pushes me to be brave >physically cannot say no to her warm encouraging smile

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Anon watches Harry Potter calmly | /r/Greentext

#168995471 1 ora fa : 1579823317429.png PNG 523.4 KiB 827x664 HAAAAAARRRRRRY YY >Punches Snape >Flips table P00000000000TT TTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR RRRRR >Kicks a cat out of the way >Grabs Harry by the throat and begins throttling him DID YOU PUT YOUR M------------ NAME IN THE F------ GOBLET OF FIRE? FESS UP YOU LITTLE S--- OR YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE BOY WHO WISHED HE DIDN'T LIVE. CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO YOU LITTLE BASTARD

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Anon is ignored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I think I found a way to stop (...) 607 KB GIF 7 Replies 12/13/19(Fri)21:28:25 No.55788691 <be me <shitposting on 4chan <use redtext <not green <the normies can't put it on r/greentext <mfw View Thread

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Mm, the smell of barbeque | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:08:13 No.793853683 >be me >24 year old Police Officer >Respond to a bad traffic accident where this wrapped his car around a palm tree >car is on fire 8 KB JPG >run up to the car to try to get him out >fire extinguisher only puts out the fire when actively using it, the second I stop the flames come back up >do this enough to get the door open and try to pull the guy out >f----- is pinned but otherwise fully conscious >guy starts screaming "Help me officer!" >tell him that the fire department is on the way and to hold tight > continue to use my fire extinguisher to keep the flames from reaching him but eventually I run out. >flames grow more and more >guy actively burning to death still screaming "help me officer!" >can't do anything to help him >Powerlessly watch him burn to death I can still hear his screams and I can't stand the smell of cooking meat.

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Anon is a functioning member of society. | /r/Greentext

08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." : Anonymous 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon read nietzsche | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon’s Doctor wants him to cut back | /r/Greentext

06/06/22 (Mon)08:18:57 No.68934954 Anonymous >be me, at the doctor's office because sometimes when I j------- (like 1 in 10 times) I'll get a sharp pain in my taint area, like there's a muscle there cramping 128 KB JPG >Doctor walks in, young guy, says "So Mr. Anon, I hear you're having pain in an unfortunate place?" >Explain my situation to him, he's taking notes and he asks "Does this occur during just intercourse or m----------- or does it occur in both?" >I'm a virgin, but don't want to tell him that so I say, "Just when I masturbate." >He asks "And how many times a month do you say you masturbate?" >I'm a little confused by the question, do quick maths in my head (3 times a day times 30 days is 90) and say "Maybe a little under a hundred times a month" >Doctor stops taking notes, looks up at me and just stares for a minute before saying "Excuse me?" >I repeat my answer >Doctor looks confused and says "Almost a hundred times a month?" >I say "Well, yeah, since daily it's about-" >Doctor interrupts me with a surprised, "Daily??" >I don't know what to say and just sit there quietly >Doctor seems lost for words and says "Let me ask you this, how many times today have you masturbated?" >The truth is twice today, but I'm getting embarrassed by his reaction and say "Just once" >"And you plan to masturbate again today, after already having done it once?" >I shrug and nod my head at the same time >Doctor sighs and shakes his head, goes back to writing notes >"How about this," the doctor says, "Let's try and cut back to just a couple times a week and see how that works for a month. After a month, you come back in to see me and we'll see if you're still having this pain." >I'm so embarrassed at this point that I just say "Okay" even though he hasn't explained to me what this pain I've had is Well, it's not no fap, but I think it's just as difficult for me to cut to "a couple times a week"

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Greentext Stories - anon tries ass | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous >be me at 24 years old >Going over to girls house for sexual experience >She wants me to eat her ass >I accept naturally being the disgusting freak that I was 78 KB JPG >My face is planted between her cheeks >She says she needs to adjust because that position feels funny >I stay attached like a magnet >I feel a giant warm stream fall all over my face and scream >She starts crying and apologizing >Me being the nicest guy at the time said that it was fine but I needed a shower >I took the longest shower I'd ever taken in my life to wash all of the s--- off >She comes into the bathroom and proceeds to throw up all over the place >I tell her I have to leave I haven't talked to her in weeks, should I call her? 06/06/22(Mon)14:21:57 No.879631321 EXPLICIT CONTENT

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