The Cheese Stands Alone | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)23:28:30 No.65173417 >wake up >try to fart >s--- the bed I F------ HATE LACTOSE INTOLERANCE I WISH I WAS DEAD 37 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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The Secret to Chadhood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)17:30:19 No.2403215 Luchadores >get paid for training all day and beating other guys >fights are actually scripted and you act the fighting, low risk of being beaten up like in LUCHA LIBRE mma >get famous and get hundreds of latinas >why haven't you taken the luchapill yet? 25 KB JPG

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anon gets a haircut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)19:55:12 No.65157281 >finally muster the courage to get a haircut >lady cutting my hair was young girl my age with the whole indie look and her booba out with no bra 148 KB JPG >spend whole time full of anxiety trying to avoid her eyes and not look at her booba which were eye level f---, why do women dress like this. I felt like a moron the whole time . Like of course she was was cutting my hair so she saw my eyes flying all over the place trying no to look at her. Any similar experiences?

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Anon makes a recommendation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: rGdK4W5c ) 08/29/21(Sun)05:25:29 No.336671569 >be me, 26 >try noporn several times >fail every time after 3-21 days because it makes me feel like absolute s--- (anxiety, depression, limp d---, fatigue) >nopornisajudenmeme.bmp >fail to realize it is just withdrawal CLICK 312 KB JPG symptoms caused by years of bathing my brain in dopamine >try again and decide to push through this time >fail >try again >fail again >letsdothis.sat >1 month passes >withdrawal symptoms getting better >2 months in >social anxiety and depression GONE >better posture >better breath >yes read that again, BETTER BREATH >look people in the eyes while i talk with them >able to study longer and more efficiently >more confidence >able to lift more >desire to read increases >laugh about things that i usually don't find funny, more humorous in general >rock hard erections >girls start noticing me >automatically sorting myself out Jordan Peterson style without even actively trying >etc. etc. p--- is killing you anons, anyone who disagrees is a shill and/or a juden. Give NoPorn a try. 32 Replies / 9 Images View Thread

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)07:40:28 No.65174832 >be me >Summer >FattyFatFuck.png >Go out for beer >Extra hot/humid that day >Leave in shame in less than an hour cause I was sweating buckets 31 KB JPG I'm literally stealing away the best years of my life cause I can't stop eating all the time. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon thinking of moving to usa | /r/Greentext

O N 36% O1 8:50 4G K/s Is moving to.. 四ロ: Is moving to America a financially sound decision? No.248254776 hours ago PEPE (12).jpg JPG 8.7 KİB 245x206 >be southern europoor >met white west coast american girl online >decided to travel France and Spain together for 2 weeks >she tells me to come to America to live with her and eventually get married >l actually like very much >Both in our mid 20's She really sold me on the American dream lads. >She makes 9OK in the military >Her sister makes 170k as a chemist at some medical weed extraction plant >170k in Europe is not even an option >90k is extremely rare Meanwhile my Europoor ass is barely earning 10k as a PhD student in STEM. I have 0 debt, 30k cash, 2k stocks, 3k crypto and a bachelor's degree in STEM from a good British University. Do I drop out of the PhD to go to America? 20 replies No.24825478 6 hours ago No f--- that bitch. Tell her the importance of yor comitments and tell her you cant leave. 1 reply No 24825470 6 houre agn

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Anon gets a massage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)09:35:08 No.65174184 Went for massage yesterday lids, anyone who's ever been for one should relate >be in spa resort >robes, slippers, complimentary drinks etc >have full body massage booked >meet masseuse >3/10 little fat gremlin >oh well my eyes will be closed it's fine >get on the table, starkers under a towel >she starts rubbing my back and shoulders >all relaxed by now, thoughts drift to all the massage p--- ive watched >wishing by now this 6/10's hands will wander where they shouldnt >thinking only of bending that sexy 8/10 over this table and f------ her brains out >massage ends after 40 mins >get up and say our goodbyes >violently masturbate in the showers over this 10/10 qt3.14

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Anon is going places. He will be making a jump suit from dead hookers’ skin by age 18 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: V+cdTMB1) 11/11/14(Tue)05:49:31 No.578820617 File: Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at(.).png (179 KB, 310x294) greentxt time > be me at age 8 > always hung out around woods by playground where i grew up > thought i was too cool for the playground > one day decide to "booby-trap" the playground's sandbox BA > dig 3' diameter hole to bottom of sand > gather epic trap supplies from woods > lay near perfectly-spaced grid of long, thin sticks on top of hole > weave giant fern leaves on top of sticks > delicately cover with sand again > mymasterpiece.jpg > hang out on swing, waiting for victims > get impatient and go home > go to playground next day > group of mom's circling my now broken trap > one of their young has fallen in. victory is mine > hear them say "a child couldn't have done this" > "must have been some loser teenagers" > realize i'm a god damn evil genius at the age of 8 > mfw

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Anon hits a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)18:17:01 No.49343343 >3rd grade >grew up with dad, had an absentee mom >Told me to hit people back if they hit me first, didn't tell me it doesn't here we go apply to girls >in class, a roastie talks s--- to me 34 KB JPG for no reason >politely told her to stop, kept talking s---. >she eventually shoves me >whothefuckisthisbitch >slam one on her face >flies across the room, knocked unconscious with her skull cracked and starting to bleed >class runs away in fear of me >principal comes down >screams at me and calls the cops >got fired later that day >f---

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suspicious circumstances | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?

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Anon has a cousin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)06:43:28 No.65174510 WANT A BREAK FROM THE ADS? >cousins are staying over till the end of August >last night I was up browsing /v/ until 3 AM >have to powder my nose (take a gigantic f------ piss) >the door to the bathroom is WATCH THIS SHORT VIDEO TO RECEIVE 30 MINUTES OF AD-FREE MUSIC 487 KB JPG closed and the lights are off >can clearly hear one of my cousins fapping, softly moaning, sniffing, etc. in there, based on the noises he was making, had to be my second youngest cousin, 17 >tiptoe back to my room and hold my gigantic f------ piss till he's done >hear shuffling, a door slowly opening, quiet footsteps, then a door slowly closing >go into the bathroom go take my gigantic f------ piss >take the best most relieving piss ever >i leave and see something stuffed behind the door >it's my boxers that I definitely threw in the hamper beforeI went to bed that night >remember that I also lost a worn plain white pajama shirt the week before >make the connection that 1) my cousin is gay and 2) he's sniffing my clothes and getting off to it I am now having gay, incestuous thoughts about my cousin even though I have never had a gay or incestuous thought in my entire life. This is f----- up

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Princess and the Frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ] 08/25/21(Wed)17:23:19 No.150743195 >eating outside >there's a stunningly beautiful waitress >have trouble looking her in the eyes because you're so out of her league you feel like a subhuman in 56 KB PNG front of her does this happen in your country

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Anon tries to forget | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)16:36:53 No.862021259 Sex fail story times guys, l'll start >be me, 10/11yo at this time >My parents live in the countryside, so lots of these s----- huge spiders, not the daddy long legs, but the dreadful ones >My brother and his soon-to-be 71 KB JPG wife are invited to come over for the holidays >In the middle of the night, I hear a loud scream coming from their room, wich is the opposite side of the house from me >l think it's one of those spiders, so I grab a slipper and run downstairs, ready to smash the beast >l open the door > My brother and his wife, in missionary under the blankets, both astonished to see me >My brother looks at me dead in the eyes >"Sorry bro, I heard a scream and I thought it was a spider" >"Get out anon, I'll take care of it" >I get out and go take a glass of lemonade >mfw I sip the lemonade trying to forget >mf I'm typing this text a decade after, still trying to forget

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