Anon is wise in the ways of science | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 05/29/22(Sun)22:26:40 No.68830688 >Girlfriend stop hanging out with me early because she wants to go home to take a poop >Confront her about it one day, telling her it's OK to use my bathroom to poop 17 KB PNG >She says she's too embarrassed about the possibility of stinking up my apartment. >Tell her just flush the minute poops hits the bowl, and there will be pretty much no smell. That the only reason bathrooms stink up is because people leave their poop in the bowl while they sit there or get up to wipe. >This is a huge revelation to her. She tries it out, and is amazed. Apparently I am the poop savior now. Women are silly.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon wants to be left alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg 411 KB JPG >be me >be white >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch

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Anons way of defending himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/06/22 (Fri)22:17:49 No.877644062 Black supremacists have seized control of your city. They are going door to door, executing all white men and r----- the white females. How do you defend yourself? 205 KB JPG 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/06/22 (Fri)22:47:15 No.877645672 >>877644062 (OP) # by screaming and shouting "OH I HOPE A BLACK MAN WITH A BIG B--------- DOESN'T HOLD ME DOWN AND R--- ME"

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anon wants frens | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37 KB JPG 05/29/22(Sun)18:05:50 No.879114347 >be me >f----- >be you >also f----- frens?

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Static hierarchy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/22(Sun)14:15:08 No.68829925 >be a loser in highschool >get bullied by a typical american movie bully >not a single day goes by without being stolen lunch money or kicked in the ass 8 KB JPG >can't fight back because of manlet reasons >best I can do is hoping karma will get him or he gets cancer and dies an agony death >fast forward 8 years >quit a job recently, find a new place >stumble upon a company >president Mr.Bully the ass kicker >h-------- it's him >tfw he inherited his dad's company >tfw he's a millionaire >tfw he's still fit af and doesn't have cancer >meanwhile I'm still a $15/hr wagie dear Christian if there is god then explain this

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Happy bday anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/09/18 (Wed)08:26:39 No.45260623 I have birthday today. It's the saddest, the most depressing, the loneliest birthday I've ever had to this point. The only person that has wished me a happy birthday is my sister. No online friends nothing. Planned on having huge m----------- session with a prostate massager and it didn't come on time. I have huge anxiety and I'm running out of valerian. What should I do :( 75 KB PNG 19 Replies / 5 Images View Thread Anonymous 05/09/18 (Wed)10:47:25 No.45262866 hop borthday from al qaeda 15 KB JPG

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Anon is disillusioned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/22(Sun)21:26:31 No.879125985 >be me >23 year old man >I have a bachelor's degree Looking for a job >I can't get a job despite applying to anything I can find 67 KB JPG >could only get jobs working at FedEx, Cheesecake Factory, and Sbarro >still living with my parents >parents keep asking me when I'll get a job >dad thinks I need to attend graduate school and get a master's degree >I'd still be jobless with a master's degree and 100,000 dollars in student-loan debt >they think I'm not trying hard enough >reality is I don't know what to do anymore >feel jaded >waste my days jacking off and watching TV At least I didn't have to take out any loans. At this point I'm genuinely considering a trade-school. Maybe become a mechanic. What the hell is the point in any of this? At this point I just want to give up and reject society and become a f------ bum. Everything feels like a joke to me now and I hate it.

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America vs Europe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/22(Thu)21:17:51 No.598741725 # >>598740946 compared to anyone America: >financial capital of the world >best food in the world >most powerful country on Earth >saved the world twice >the smartest and most attractive people from every other country decide to live here instead Europe: >some stinky old buildings >le napoleon (literally) >stupid languages, everybody has to learn english to actually communicate anyway >"we stored this cheese in a cave and injected it with mold until it started to smell like rotten feet, Americans will never have haute cuisine like this" >healthcare so s--- they literally give it away for free >>598742287 # >>598742409 # >>598742775 # : Anonymous 05/12/22(Thu)21:21:04 No.598742031 >>598742774 # : Anonymous 05/12/22(Thu)21:24:01 No.598742287 >>598741725 # the c-------- shop down the street from my house is older than your country and you think you get a seat at the table to talk about history and culture 149 KB JPG >>598742606 #

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I seriously doubt orthopedic surgeons are hanging out on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/18(Fri)10:10:38 No.43412282 > be me 13 years old > grew up in a f----- up home with manipulative and abusive parents > older brother quits his study in the midst of getting a PhD to get me and my little sister out of the house 38 KB JPG > living with him >haven't been happier in my life > practically saved our life > he forces me to keep my attention at school to accomplish something in my life, something he sacrificed for us > 2 years go by > he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer > he never lost hope and always walked around with a smile > dies > 14 years of school and many degrees later > mfw I'm a certified orthopedic surgeon and I'd probably have killed myself if he wasn't there for us > i will never forget you bro

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Anon is a Cop From Uvalde Texas | /r/Greentext

>Be me, badass cop. UVALES >There's a school shooting. >Put on all of my tactical gear. Rush to the scene Meet Our S.W.A.T. Team >Gunshots from inside the school. 161 KB JPG >Kids inside the school calling 911 for help >Establish a perimeter. Parents begging us to storm the school and save their children >Tell them it is not a safe environment, police officers could get shot >Kids keep calling 911 for help >Parents get rowdy. Start screaming and trying to rush the school themselves >ITS LAW ENFORCEMENT TIME >Start screaming at parents to back up >This one guy tries rescue his kid, so I tased him >Had to handcuff a few parents for their own protection. >Good thing I got all that tactical gear. >Police Chief releases a statement that they are thankful that no officers sustained life threatening injuries >MFW everyone is mad at us. >What happened to blue lives matter?

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Anon gets a kiss | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 KB JPG 16 Replies / 4 Images : Anonymous >>63252295 (OP) # nice, you are now part of the majority of people who have herpes 04/17/21 (Sat)03:43:40 No.63252295 >kiss my first girl >get a pimple on my lips a week later >it hurts when I lick it View Thread 04/17/21 (Sat)06:46:17 No.63253675

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Anon’s gf is evil | /r/Greentext

DOPAMEME APP Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)04:16:12 No.815538141 >>815538191 >>815538268 >>815538277 >>815538347 >>815538726 >>815538732 >>815539139 >>815539154 >>815539158 >>815540977 >>815541599 >>815541683 >>815541821 >>815543040 >>815545009 >>815545761 >>815545822 >>815545873 >>815545961 >My girlfriend went through my text messages >found out I had been talking to my ex (just as friends) >she doesn't work, just lives off me for free >while I'm doing a 12 hour shift, she takes my dog buddy and hides him somewhere >she won't tell me where he is >I call several local shelters looking for him >check craigslist to see if she might have sold him >its been 2 days and my baby boy is gone >what do I do? >I'm f------ heartbroken without my boy

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Anon is playing mind games with his co-worker. | /r/Greentext

>assigned to do a project with a co- worker Ⓡ >whenever we do some progress or get past a roadblock say the word "stupendous" >do it for a couple weeks 451 KB PNG >co-worker eventually starts picking it up >pavlov.png >co-worker starts saying stupendous as well in the same situations >stop saying it >ffw 1 month, project pretty much done >just cleared the last bug, co-worker says stupendous >allacordingtoplan.wav >"huh? that's an unusual expression" >"what do you mean, anon? I heard it from you" >"i never used that word in my life" see you soon on the board, fellow schizo

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