Anon’s dad is a bro | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:15:54 No.129909308 random memory I remembered today >2004 >be 7 >mom is strict so I must go to sleep at 9pm even during summer holiday >her aunt passes away, she goes to the funeral and is only back by morning >want to see Shrek 2 in cinema >check cinema schedule >go to 6pm one with dad >accidentally checked yesterday's schedule, film started at 5pm with the next one starting at 8:30pm >upset.png >dad says he buys two tickets for the 8:30pm Shrek 2 >surprised.jpg >he says mom doesn't need to know, it'll be our secret >movie ended at 10:30pm >when we went home dad let me play Tony Hawk's Underground 'til 1 am

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is upto something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)08:45:01 No.4129154 >rat poison >it actually kills pretty much any animal that eats it 544 KB GIF

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Anon takes the trash out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)09:48:27 No.876079573 >have to take out trash and walk the dogs >normally take the dogs out the back door >trash is out the front door >take the dogs out the front door >take the trash out >walk dogs >go around the house to the back door >it is locked 478 KВ PNG >freak out >think someone slipped in while I was rolling the trash can and locked me out >panic for five solid minutes before I realize I just went out the other door

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4chan thinks anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:26:22 No.876074733 >Be me >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >Never seen a woman as good looking as her >Find out she has OF >Anti-OF, but make an account just for her and sub to her 15 KB PNG >Tip her good amounts and talk to her >Slowly start talking to her on a regular basis >We become comfortable and she shares details of herself, including the college she goes to. ffw couple months >Lose job >Can't maintain my subscription anymore >She tells me she won't do it for free >I have all her content and information about her >Tell her if she doesn't l'll send her content to her school and family >Panic.jpeg >Doesn't respond, deletes OF, and every social media she has >mfw i got a thot off of OF She was probably making good money too. : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:27:49 No.876074802 >>876074733 (OP)_# Get a life, loser. >>876076856 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:30:46 No.876074923 >>876074733 (OP) # Your life is sadder than that of an OnlyFans thot, I want you to think about that before you go to sleep tonight : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:30:50 No.876074927 >>876074733 (OP) # Jesus this is sad : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:33:33 No.876075056 this looks like something reddit would write but they were too scared so they posted it here and screencapped to post on reddit : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:36:29 No.876075188 >>876074733 (OP) # Include me in the screenshot f----- : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:41:22 No.876075411 >>876074733 (OP) # >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >Find You are unspeakably creepy >>876075611 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:44:34 No.876075525 >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >r--- her face because she'll like it >fart on /b/ poster #876075411 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:45:14 No.876075547 You should still tell the family Imao >>876075590 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:46:21 No.876075590 >>876075547 # This.

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Anon likes girls in heels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:22:50 No.68171795 >be me >not tall but not short >average looking >get matches on dating apps here and there >they're always a few inches shorter than me 349 KB JPG >no foot fetish, but think it's sexy when girls wear heels >when I'm chatting with a match, I usually mention heels being sexy >gets the conversation from friendly to playful banter >almost all the girls I get a date with show up in heels >makes them the same height as me >every time I message a girl after a date she says she "didn't feel a connection" Am I cucking myself by trying to get a girl to wear heels on our date?

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Anon discovered fire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:38:31 No.66294144 What if I pedal the stationary bike with my hands? 21 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:39:12 No.66294152 >>66294144 (OP) # you don't burn kcal, you gain some : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)13:05:54 No.66294839 >>66294144 (OP) # Why would you do this? >>66294848 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)13:06:59 No.66294848 >>66294839 # The man here is discovering fire and you ask him why

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OP's son asks some important questions. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/16(Mon)10:55:06 No.683441433 >>683436679 # "dad, why do you have a frog on a unicycle tattooed on your leg?" "well son, it was a popular meme for a few months in 2016" "what's a meme?" "well, it was the internet version of a circle-jerk, son" "f------ kill yourself, dad.."

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Anon made a prediction (stolen from an old post) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /PKXCIT2 02/26/22(Sat)10:20:50 No.363537891 >apparently Ukranians are killing Russians left and right Avengers style >taking out thousands tanks a day >Ghost and Iron Man of Kiev Man, retards are going to be really shocked when in a week Ukraine ends 2 KB PNG up as another oblast in Russia

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Anon doesn't know her usual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:27:44 No.17665250 2len Fischman What was the worst night you THIS IS LITERALLY THE F----- SIGN AT THE PIE SHOP ever had as a chef in the Kitchen? 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:42:16 No.17665290 : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:49:40 No.17665327 Not quite kitchen work but: >Just after college >Work at coffee shop so I can get money handling experience for clerical work for a basic bitch government job >High power lawyer boss babe 40 KB JPG walks in >Asks me for "the usual" >IDK what that is >She's offended that IDK what that is >She never comes back >Co-workers are p----- at me because she tipped really well >MFW she was like my 3rd customer on my first day of my first food service job >>17665350 # >>17665375 # >>17665454 # >>17665550 # >>17666646 # >>17668447 # >>17674500 # >>17675108 #

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SlmnRW0h 10/02/21(Sat)22:47:33 No.341853162 Tilt-turn-windows-arrows-700x311.jpg| 25 KB JPG This puzzles, confuses, and enrages the American : Anonymous (ID: JDRDIna6 10/02/21(Sat)22:48:29 No.341853252 >>341853162(OP)_# What the f--- >>341853405 # >>341854838 # >>341856774 #

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I don't even know what to title this | /r/Greentext

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Anon sees antisemitism everywhere | /r/Greentext

* Anonymous (ID: Zk/Dn5nF ) A 08/28/21(Sat)20:06:09 No.336617480 WITH EWE S. YOU LOSE! Zootopia With Ewes you Lose.jpg 758 KB JPG >>336601926 (OP) # Zootopia, the tale of a brave cop who exposes a Ewish conspiracy to flood the ghettos with drugs and incite a race war so the Ewes can seize power behind the scenes. Not even joking, that's the plot of the film.

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anon pulls an all nighter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/22(Sun)20:21:35 No.68162915 >Notice at 9pm I have a speech and 12 page essay due the next day worth 30% of my grade >Pull an all nighter trying to scramble something together >End up with an 8 page essay and an incomprehensible speech >Go to class >Been up for 36 hours, can't even think >Have an anxiety attack, hide in the back of the class so the professor doesn't notice me >Manage to never get called on >Gaslight the professor and say I was there the whole time and she never called me so I want some kind of way to make up the grade >End up just getting a pity C in the class >Stay up another 12 hours before finally crashing

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