Anon sees a psychologist | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)20:32:23 No.67917291 >Be younger me >Lose friends because of me being a dumb annoying brat >Act like everything is fine but it really isn't >Lose motivation to do anything >School marks drop so much I was last place from like 360+ people >School worried I might be the first one 140 KB JPG there to actually need to kick out >Teachers call mother everyday because I don't talk with people and I don't do homework >Mother tries her best to send me to psychologist >l refuse every time >After few weeks I was out with my sister to get bus cards >She wants me to meet her friends >Her friends are f------ w----- and I don't want to even think about them >She tells me if I don't go meet them, I must go to the psychiatrist >l go to the psychologist >Psychologist and mom know each other >I talk about how I f----- everything up with friends and what a loser I'm >Session ends >Ask mother what did psyh say because I saw them talk after I was done (She came to pick me up because place was far) >"She said you should stop staying on the computer and go outside more often. Funny, I didn't mention staying on the pc even once. Never going to doctors who know my parents again.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon questions elevators | /r/Greentext

>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Anon goes to his nightshift. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.

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Anon discovers the meaning of lifting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)20:27:48 No.63759172 >be me >get yelled at repeatedly by my 2nd grade teacher >grow up to be a massive dude >get stronger at the gym >see the teacher out in public again 247 KB PNG >she's all nice to me >l yell and berate the s--- out of her and she runs away scared shitless This is why I Ilift

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>americans btfo lulAnon lays it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos

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Anon thinks he is the main Character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)21:13:33 No.149822348 >21 seasons in >main character still has no girlfriend, motivation, or interests besides video games >stays in his room all day shitposting on a basket weaving 126 KB JPG forum What the f--- were the directors thinking?

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Anon buys a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)15:29:02 No.875009996 > Be me. > Depressed. > Buys a betta fish impulsively. > Puts betta fish in my room. > Cute as f--- betta. > Fish comes to my hand when feeding. > I learn that bettas need to sleep at night. > Stops stying up until late so betta can 11 KB JPG sleep. > Get's healthier and happier cause whenever sad looks at fish and goes "heh, pretty fish". > Completely convinced that my fish is quirky and unique. > Decides to buy a bigger aquarium for him after one year. > Buys another betta fish on the pet store because the other one is also pretty. > Puts the second aquarium next to the first one, far enough so they can't see each other. > Both bettas start swimming synchronized. > What in the f------ matrix.EXE > Takes one f------ whole minute for the matrix o fix the bug. > Guess my fish is not that unique.

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Anon lives with a roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)12:21:24 No.875004568 >be me >18 >lives with roommate >22 year old brony who got kicked out when his parents found a body pillow >coomer who ignores his real life friends to play with dudes he met on twitch or discord >l convince him to start working out with 31 KB JPG me and get him out of his room >we head to the gym and this is the first time he's worked out sense high school gym class > it does fine, he's skinny and keeps a high metabolism so other than some endurance and zero ability to heavy lift it all goes well >we now go every other day and bought some food designed for bulk workout diets > I wake up earlier than normal to help him make breakfast with the new meal planning >l've never woken up this early sense I work night shift at my job >he is 100% naked and standing in the kitchen >Mfw he tries to hide his d--- with the box granola bars

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anon misses clue | /r/Greentext

This is my story, /fit/. >in college class >have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum ~20 miles away 49 KB JPG >decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk >cute clerk is standing there >ask for curator >older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork >make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but I made her laugh once or twice >tell curator about my project >he gives me enough information to do a project on >tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curator >for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that >realize what I've done

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue

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Anon is daddy’s little girl | /r/Greentext

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Anon listens to Green Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #

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Anon has no friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:10:59 No.875002737 2135648451.jpg 74 KB JPG >Be me >Lonely guy >Heard that having a pet can lower the likelihood of blowing your brains out >Building only allows cats >Start reading and watching videos about cats >Seem pretty cool >Go to Humane Society >Meet this really awesome cat named Jupiter >Read his bio online >Has been at shelter for 2 years because he's afraid of people and always runs and hides when people come to adopt cats >But he came right up to me >Rubbed up against my leg, let me pet him. >l picked him up and he was purring like crazy >Held him like a baby >The staff are literally crying, they've never seen him be so calm and friendly >Obviously I need to take this cat home >Ask them what the adoption process is like >Tell me there's a home visit, they need approval from my landlord, etc. >Give me an application to fill out. >"List the names and phone numbers of two non-blood relatives for references" >Ask what that is. >Tell me that it's just for character references >"Just put down a couple of your friends" she tells me >Not thinking, I blurt out, "But I don't have any friends." >Gives me a weird look >"You must have acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors, someone who knows you." >Can't think of anyone who would vouch for me >But know a ton of people who would say I'm a bad person just to f--- with me >Tell her I don't know of anyone >She takes the application from me >"Maybe you're not the kind of person who should be adopting then." >Was about to protest, but why? She's right. >"Tell Jupiter l'm sorry," I say as I leave. >Decide I will never look at the humane society website again. >Tell myself that five seconds after I left, a nice, happy, well- adjusted person came in and adopted Jupiter and gave him a great home. >That's the story I'm going with in my head.

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