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O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon discovers the meaning of lifting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)20:27:48 No.63759172 >be me >get yelled at repeatedly by my 2nd grade teacher >grow up to be a massive dude >get stronger at the gym >see the teacher out in public again 247 KB PNG >she's all nice to me >l yell and berate the s--- out of her and she runs away scared shitless This is why I Ilift

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>americans btfo lulAnon lays it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos

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Anon thinks he is the main Character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)21:13:33 No.149822348 >21 seasons in >main character still has no girlfriend, motivation, or interests besides video games >stays in his room all day shitposting on a basket weaving 126 KB JPG forum What the f--- were the directors thinking?

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Anon buys a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)15:29:02 No.875009996 > Be me. > Depressed. > Buys a betta fish impulsively. > Puts betta fish in my room. > Cute as f--- betta. > Fish comes to my hand when feeding. > I learn that bettas need to sleep at night. > Stops stying up until late so betta can 11 KB JPG sleep. > Get's healthier and happier cause whenever sad looks at fish and goes "heh, pretty fish". > Completely convinced that my fish is quirky and unique. > Decides to buy a bigger aquarium for him after one year. > Buys another betta fish on the pet store because the other one is also pretty. > Puts the second aquarium next to the first one, far enough so they can't see each other. > Both bettas start swimming synchronized. > What in the f------ matrix.EXE > Takes one f------ whole minute for the matrix o fix the bug. > Guess my fish is not that unique.

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Anon lives with a roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)12:21:24 No.875004568 >be me >18 >lives with roommate >22 year old brony who got kicked out when his parents found a body pillow >coomer who ignores his real life friends to play with dudes he met on twitch or discord >l convince him to start working out with 31 KB JPG me and get him out of his room >we head to the gym and this is the first time he's worked out sense high school gym class > it does fine, he's skinny and keeps a high metabolism so other than some endurance and zero ability to heavy lift it all goes well >we now go every other day and bought some food designed for bulk workout diets > I wake up earlier than normal to help him make breakfast with the new meal planning >l've never woken up this early sense I work night shift at my job >he is 100% naked and standing in the kitchen >Mfw he tries to hide his d--- with the box granola bars

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anon misses clue | /r/Greentext

This is my story, /fit/. >in college class >have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum ~20 miles away 49 KB JPG >decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk >cute clerk is standing there >ask for curator >older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork >make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but I made her laugh once or twice >tell curator about my project >he gives me enough information to do a project on >tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curator >for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that >realize what I've done

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue

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Anon is daddy’s little girl | /r/Greentext

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Anon listens to Green Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #

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Anon has no friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:10:59 No.875002737 2135648451.jpg 74 KB JPG >Be me >Lonely guy >Heard that having a pet can lower the likelihood of blowing your brains out >Building only allows cats >Start reading and watching videos about cats >Seem pretty cool >Go to Humane Society >Meet this really awesome cat named Jupiter >Read his bio online >Has been at shelter for 2 years because he's afraid of people and always runs and hides when people come to adopt cats >But he came right up to me >Rubbed up against my leg, let me pet him. >l picked him up and he was purring like crazy >Held him like a baby >The staff are literally crying, they've never seen him be so calm and friendly >Obviously I need to take this cat home >Ask them what the adoption process is like >Tell me there's a home visit, they need approval from my landlord, etc. >Give me an application to fill out. >"List the names and phone numbers of two non-blood relatives for references" >Ask what that is. >Tell me that it's just for character references >"Just put down a couple of your friends" she tells me >Not thinking, I blurt out, "But I don't have any friends." >Gives me a weird look >"You must have acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors, someone who knows you." >Can't think of anyone who would vouch for me >But know a ton of people who would say I'm a bad person just to f--- with me >Tell her I don't know of anyone >She takes the application from me >"Maybe you're not the kind of person who should be adopting then." >Was about to protest, but why? She's right. >"Tell Jupiter l'm sorry," I say as I leave. >Decide I will never look at the humane society website again. >Tell myself that five seconds after I left, a nice, happy, well- adjusted person came in and adopted Jupiter and gave him a great home. >That's the story I'm going with in my head.

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Anon's definitely normal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon does martial arts | /r/Greentext

>be me >get work save enough for martial arts training get life back on track >train with woman with dark hair blue eyes militaristic personality >After class have a conversation >Few months go by eventually comes over to my place >Sees half finished monster can >"Breaking the nocturnal habit anon?" >Admits to used having similar life style >First time seeing the personality not there as before >"Anon you have to eat a bowl of eggs" >Confused >Shadows crawl from the walls with boiled eggs in their hands as she fades into those shadow things >"Eat the eggs anon" >Wake up from alarm >Mfw still a neet Not even my type why does my subconscious do this s--- to me

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to his nightshift. | /r/Greentext

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O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.

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