Anon goes to his nightshift. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon discovers the meaning of lifting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)20:27:48 No.63759172 >be me >get yelled at repeatedly by my 2nd grade teacher >grow up to be a massive dude >get stronger at the gym >see the teacher out in public again 247 KB PNG >she's all nice to me >l yell and berate the s--- out of her and she runs away scared shitless This is why I Ilift

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>americans btfo lulAnon lays it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos

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Anon thinks he is the main Character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)21:13:33 No.149822348 >21 seasons in >main character still has no girlfriend, motivation, or interests besides video games >stays in his room all day shitposting on a basket weaving 126 KB JPG forum What the f--- were the directors thinking?

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Anon buys a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)15:29:02 No.875009996 > Be me. > Depressed. > Buys a betta fish impulsively. > Puts betta fish in my room. > Cute as f--- betta. > Fish comes to my hand when feeding. > I learn that bettas need to sleep at night. > Stops stying up until late so betta can 11 KB JPG sleep. > Get's healthier and happier cause whenever sad looks at fish and goes "heh, pretty fish". > Completely convinced that my fish is quirky and unique. > Decides to buy a bigger aquarium for him after one year. > Buys another betta fish on the pet store because the other one is also pretty. > Puts the second aquarium next to the first one, far enough so they can't see each other. > Both bettas start swimming synchronized. > What in the f------ matrix.EXE > Takes one f------ whole minute for the matrix o fix the bug. > Guess my fish is not that unique.

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Anon lives with a roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)12:21:24 No.875004568 >be me >18 >lives with roommate >22 year old brony who got kicked out when his parents found a body pillow >coomer who ignores his real life friends to play with dudes he met on twitch or discord >l convince him to start working out with 31 KB JPG me and get him out of his room >we head to the gym and this is the first time he's worked out sense high school gym class > it does fine, he's skinny and keeps a high metabolism so other than some endurance and zero ability to heavy lift it all goes well >we now go every other day and bought some food designed for bulk workout diets > I wake up earlier than normal to help him make breakfast with the new meal planning >l've never woken up this early sense I work night shift at my job >he is 100% naked and standing in the kitchen >Mfw he tries to hide his d--- with the box granola bars

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anon misses clue | /r/Greentext

This is my story, /fit/. >in college class >have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum ~20 miles away 49 KB JPG >decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk >cute clerk is standing there >ask for curator >older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork >make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but I made her laugh once or twice >tell curator about my project >he gives me enough information to do a project on >tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curator >for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that >realize what I've done

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue

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Anon is daddy’s little girl | /r/Greentext

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Anon listens to Green Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #

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Anon has no friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:10:59 No.875002737 2135648451.jpg 74 KB JPG >Be me >Lonely guy >Heard that having a pet can lower the likelihood of blowing your brains out >Building only allows cats >Start reading and watching videos about cats >Seem pretty cool >Go to Humane Society >Meet this really awesome cat named Jupiter >Read his bio online >Has been at shelter for 2 years because he's afraid of people and always runs and hides when people come to adopt cats >But he came right up to me >Rubbed up against my leg, let me pet him. >l picked him up and he was purring like crazy >Held him like a baby >The staff are literally crying, they've never seen him be so calm and friendly >Obviously I need to take this cat home >Ask them what the adoption process is like >Tell me there's a home visit, they need approval from my landlord, etc. >Give me an application to fill out. >"List the names and phone numbers of two non-blood relatives for references" >Ask what that is. >Tell me that it's just for character references >"Just put down a couple of your friends" she tells me >Not thinking, I blurt out, "But I don't have any friends." >Gives me a weird look >"You must have acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors, someone who knows you." >Can't think of anyone who would vouch for me >But know a ton of people who would say I'm a bad person just to f--- with me >Tell her I don't know of anyone >She takes the application from me >"Maybe you're not the kind of person who should be adopting then." >Was about to protest, but why? She's right. >"Tell Jupiter l'm sorry," I say as I leave. >Decide I will never look at the humane society website again. >Tell myself that five seconds after I left, a nice, happy, well- adjusted person came in and adopted Jupiter and gave him a great home. >That's the story I'm going with in my head.

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Anon's definitely normal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon does martial arts | /r/Greentext

>be me >get work save enough for martial arts training get life back on track >train with woman with dark hair blue eyes militaristic personality >After class have a conversation >Few months go by eventually comes over to my place >Sees half finished monster can >"Breaking the nocturnal habit anon?" >Admits to used having similar life style >First time seeing the personality not there as before >"Anon you have to eat a bowl of eggs" >Confused >Shadows crawl from the walls with boiled eggs in their hands as she fades into those shadow things >"Eat the eggs anon" >Wake up from alarm >Mfw still a neet Not even my type why does my subconscious do this s--- to me

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