Anon thinks about humans | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed) 19:51:12 No.67808759 Post your most embarrassing or degrading confession >freshman year of college >invited to a party, more like dragged there 270 KB JPG >smoke weed with some people in one of my classes >better than trying to survive in the actual party >police show up because of a noise complaint and probably they said they saw drugs or whatever >we're in an upstairs bedroom >everyone starts climbing down through the window >l'm too much of a p---- and don't go >cops make it to the room and one of them comes in >oh no time to be arrested >sudden stroke of genius >maybe I can convince him >he tells me to turn around >I lift my jacket to show off my ass and tell him he's cute >he starts to cuff me and I reach for his crotch >he says "My job isn't worth your ugly, bony ass" and throws me on the ground and cuffs me

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anon can sing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)14:49:06 No.67809995 sing.jpg 38 KB JPG >finally live alone >can sing without my mom making fun of me View Thread

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Anon has a positive view on women | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:50:58 No.874520917 >>874521180 Women over 30 are worthless for even sex. Who agrees? Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:56:00 No.874521027 >women over 30 are worthless for sex so are you

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Anon doesn't know the secret method to keep a fart silent. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/19(Sat)19:16:10 No.796295617 >Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon wants to light beacons of Gondor (from Lord of the Rings) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The beacons are lit! 04/11/19(Thu)09:38:04 No.112735452 >Be peasant from Gondor >Live on mountain >See distant fire >Light wood pile >Epic music starts playing >20 years on mountain worth it for this moment 7 KB JPG

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Feels like up to me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLOG 08/21/21(Sat)01:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something 941 KB JPG computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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Killed the mood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 KB JPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you

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Anon was clueless | /r/Greentext

what the f--- happened to me today what the f--- happened to me t(...) 03/16/22(Wed)22:13:12 No.67808963 >Coworker complains her boyfriend left her >She says she "really needs something to do this weekend." >Giving me this really odd look like she wants me to say something >she says "she wants to be 24 KB PNG someone new" >literally stares into my eyes in silence with the most "weelllI? sooooo?" look ever >finally clicks in my head, she's trying to ask me out without directly saying it. >Ask her if she wants to see a movie or something like that. >"Oh no I don't want to go out with you anon" >she leaves What?????? Huh?????? I'm pretty clueless about the hints women drop but this was one, right? | swear she just stood there staring at me waiting for me to respond. Is she playing hard to get? Or did I somehow misunderstand that? Or did she change her mind? What the f---.

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Anon is a Chad Daddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/19(Sat)08:52:10 No.792183142 > be me > be 6'2" Chad with 7.5" girthy d--- > on master's degree in engineering at top uni > gf is big butt white gym girl who f---- like a prostitute > parents love me and are proud 7 KB JPG > be glad I'm not a degenerate like you f--- > feels good bro

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anon encounters a ghost (warning: very spooky) | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)21:08:53 No.21145442 >move into new apartment >hear strange noises at night >like if a girl was weeping in the bathroom >spooky af >next night >hear chair moving in the kitchen >really scared >ask neighbor w-- >tells me the coupie I bought the apartment from had a daughter around my age >she committed suicide a few months ago, parents had something to do with it apparently >her ghost is probably stalking the place >at night >put a piece of paper and a pen on my desk >I hear things moving from the kitchen again >shout into the air "Im not your parents! what do you want? could you write it down?" >start hearing whispering >f--- this s--- >about to leave the apartment but the bedroom door gets shut in front of me >about to f------ die >sudden idea >pull of pajama pants >scream "if you kill me at least gimme a b------ you crazy bitch" >feeling of someone grabbing my d--- but cant see anyone >air tightens around my c--- like a weak vacuum >feels like an invisible person is sucking my d--- >suddenly a force pushes me onto my bed >air tightens more around my c--- and it feels the air moves rhytmically around my d--- >w-- the ghost chick is riding me >c-- >wake up next morning >was it a dream? >go take a shower >come back to get dressed >notice the pen I left on the desk is on the floor >notice there is something written on the paper >"it was fun and all but we are really different, so you know, but we can still be friends" >six weeks passed so far >complete silence every night >ffw not even a ghost wants to be my gf

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