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: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #

BREAKING: Justin Trudeau to resign as Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudover... 466 KB PNG 01/05/25(Sun) 23:25:58 No.493452575 >Goes into office and Inherits a generous surplus from the conservative party >Squanders it all and ends up collecting more debt than all other PM combined >Lets food prices shoot through the roof, to the point Canadians are keeling over from scurvy (yes the pirate disease) >Exiles hobo towns and closes roads for a Taylor Swift concert >Doesnt do the same for a veterans parade >Allows swarms of jeets destroy the job market. >Provides incentives to jobs if they hire foreign jeets but not for Canadian citizens >Decides to throw all the blame on to his subordinates >They all resign and tell him to eat s--- >Does nothing and hides in his office for the holidays >Eventually rage quits after everyone calls for his resignation. Canacucks... I thought we had it bad.

Anonymous 37 KB JPG >be me 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town

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Anon wants to light beacons of Gondor (from Lord of the Rings) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The beacons are lit! 04/11/19(Thu)09:38:04 No.112735452 >Be peasant from Gondor >Live on mountain >See distant fire >Light wood pile >Epic music starts playing >20 years on mountain worth it for this moment 7 KB JPG

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Feels like up to me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLOG 08/21/21(Sat)01:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something 941 KB JPG computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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Killed the mood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 KB JPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you

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Anon was clueless | /r/Greentext

what the f--- happened to me today what the f--- happened to me t(...) 03/16/22(Wed)22:13:12 No.67808963 >Coworker complains her boyfriend left her >She says she "really needs something to do this weekend." >Giving me this really odd look like she wants me to say something >she says "she wants to be 24 KB PNG someone new" >literally stares into my eyes in silence with the most "weelllI? sooooo?" look ever >finally clicks in my head, she's trying to ask me out without directly saying it. >Ask her if she wants to see a movie or something like that. >"Oh no I don't want to go out with you anon" >she leaves What?????? Huh?????? I'm pretty clueless about the hints women drop but this was one, right? | swear she just stood there staring at me waiting for me to respond. Is she playing hard to get? Or did I somehow misunderstand that? Or did she change her mind? What the f---.

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Anon is a Chad Daddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/19(Sat)08:52:10 No.792183142 > be me > be 6'2" Chad with 7.5" girthy d--- > on master's degree in engineering at top uni > gf is big butt white gym girl who f---- like a prostitute > parents love me and are proud 7 KB JPG > be glad I'm not a degenerate like you f--- > feels good bro

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anon encounters a ghost (warning: very spooky) | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)21:08:53 No.21145442 >move into new apartment >hear strange noises at night >like if a girl was weeping in the bathroom >spooky af >next night >hear chair moving in the kitchen >really scared >ask neighbor w-- >tells me the coupie I bought the apartment from had a daughter around my age >she committed suicide a few months ago, parents had something to do with it apparently >her ghost is probably stalking the place >at night >put a piece of paper and a pen on my desk >I hear things moving from the kitchen again >shout into the air "Im not your parents! what do you want? could you write it down?" >start hearing whispering >f--- this s--- >about to leave the apartment but the bedroom door gets shut in front of me >about to f------ die >sudden idea >pull of pajama pants >scream "if you kill me at least gimme a b------ you crazy bitch" >feeling of someone grabbing my d--- but cant see anyone >air tightens around my c--- like a weak vacuum >feels like an invisible person is sucking my d--- >suddenly a force pushes me onto my bed >air tightens more around my c--- and it feels the air moves rhytmically around my d--- >w-- the ghost chick is riding me >c-- >wake up next morning >was it a dream? >go take a shower >come back to get dressed >notice the pen I left on the desk is on the floor >notice there is something written on the paper >"it was fun and all but we are really different, so you know, but we can still be friends" >six weeks passed so far >complete silence every night >ffw not even a ghost wants to be my gf

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Illegal post, but just had to inform everyone that, apparently, we're committing hate crimes. | /r/Greentext

E r/racism You've been permanently banned from participating in r/racism r/racism • 1h You have been permanently banned from participating in r/ racism. You can still view and subscribe to r/racism, but you won't be able to post or comment. Note from the moderators: You have been automatically banned for participating in a hatereddit. /r/greentext systemically harasses individuals and/or communities, including this one. Regardless of context, contributions you provide to the hatereddit is a material form of support. We are willing to reverse the ban only if you plan to stop supporting these hatereddits. If you do not, then do not contact us. We will ignore any other response. If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team for r/racism by replying to this message. Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole.

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Anon is a Chad look-alike | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)09:16:35 No.43709546 >be me >chad look-alike >basically just have good looks and give good first impression, but still feel like 4chan is my people >get sick of people treating 1002 KB PNG my autist friends like s--- >start telling stacies who s--- on autists that they have to f--- my friends before they can f--- me >mostly get called a freak but it's still fun for the s---- and giggles >mfw one of the girls actually says ok and actually does it >end up being too disgusted with her to have sex with her >she keeps having sex with friends anyway >mfw am chad robin hood

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GrandAnon had the last laugh | /r/Greentext

02/10/22(Thu)19:28:46 No.87242585 財 >never really connect with family members >not even with parents >grandpa is the only person in the family I truly get along with >same the other way around since most of my relatives can't appreciate pops's sense of humor >years pass and granpops becomes one 18 KB JPG of my closest friends >on my 18th birthday he gives me an envelope >says it's important so he trusts me with it but cannot be opened before his death >l promise him I won't open it until the day comes >12 years later >granpops passes away >sad.jpg >remember the envelope >I kept it in a safe in the bank >go to bank and get it >open it >only a single paper in the envelope >written on it: "guess what? chicken butt" goddammit pops, I miss you, you old fart

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Anon is a thug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:54:35 No.858941903 STORY THREAD. >be me THUG LIFE >walk into gym wearing tiny 80's shorts and fake mustache >see literal 9.5/10 girl running on treadmill with earphones in >walk up to her, motion for her to take her 41 KB JPG earphones out >tell her she's alright looking but not really my type >walk away and leave the gym >hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place >girl walks out >do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car >drink the rest of my nesquik and head home

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Anons declining relationship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)16:27:18 No.874529154 > Partner literally just works and sleeps. I'm not kidding > Rolled their eyes at the last thing I tried to show them that I thought was funny > Barely been speaking > They ask what's wrong after a few 49 KB JPG days > "I feel like I annoy you" > "Anon you don't annoy me-" >:) > "-but(proceeds to talk about why and how I annoy them)' It's over anons isn't it

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Greentext Stories - Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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