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: Anonymous 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for SIDES CRIPPLED 153 KB JPG amerifags) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

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anon tries reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:49:07 No.67687782 >be me >always heard that reddit is awful >curious if the reputation is true >go on reddit for the first time >comment on some guy's post about how his bank stole his money >"damn that sucks man, sorry to 42 KB JPG hear you got jew'd" >OP responds calling me antisemitic >call him a f----- >450 downvotes >both comments removed by moderator >perm banned from the subreddit >one week ban from reddit Forgive me, l'll never go back : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:50:43 No.67687790 redditards are sensitive little cucks : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:51:10 No.67687794 Well, what did you think was gonna happen? >>67687800 #

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Anon has a reality glitch | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 ► 2>26586317> File: pepe jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago

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Anon Goes Clubbing | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous (ID: (NqDXNI66)E 03/06/22(Sun)20:48:55 No.365652530 >met 4 girls in the club with my friends >they said they are going home and that we should come >frens said that we should probably go home instead cause they were too tired >we go home >called my buddy and told him that something feels off to me 17 KB JPG >he told me that they are on their way to the girls' dorm >turns out I wasn't invited 122 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon dodged an emotionally unstable bullet. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Femanons explain this 08/22/19(Thu)06:32:21 No.54029533 >be me >talk to cute girl >l'm totally into her >seems like she's into me as well >ask girl out >girl says no >okie dokie, moving on >later hear from mutual friend that girl was wondering as to why I gave up so easily in trying to pursue her 1.77 MB GIF

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Anon leads a surprisingly normal life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie 136 KB JPG >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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Anon starts a restaurant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?

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Anon finds the love of his life | /r/Greentext

LTE 12:41 : Anonymous EE 04/15/19(Mon)02:52:23 No.104244566 My mom found my trap folder and asked if that was my thing. Sperged out and told her it's not what she thinks. Anyhow later she introduced me to a young cousin who is a trap and well now we are dating since 3 years ago. He was 15, I was 22 >>104244609 # >>104244614 # >>104244621 # >>104244643 # >>104244651 # >>104244665 # >>104244674 # >>104244691 # >>104244747 # >>104244773 # >>104244775 # >>104244880 # >>104244947 # >>104244952 # >>104244970 # >>104244985 # >>104245037 # >>104245050 # >>104245072 # >>104245100 # >>104245127 # >>104245140 # >>104245414 # >>104245486 # >>104245546 # >>104245588 # >>104245615 # >>104245664 # >>104245669 # >>104245746 # >>104246505 # >>104246513 # >>104246930 # >>104247295 # >>104247430 # >>104248475 # >>104248647 # >>104248880 # >>104248958 # >>104249345 # >>104250572 # >>104250661 # >>104251294 # >>104251538 # >>104251638 # >>104251745 # >>104252032 # >>104252052 # >>104252158 # >>104252231 # >>104252254 # >>104252305 # >>104252328 # >>104252637 # >>104252718 # >>104252935 # >>104254186 # >>104254412 # >>104254427 # >>104254462 # >>104254635 # >>104254709 # >>104254957 # >>104255327 # >>104255355 # >>104255419 # >>104255612 # >>104255613 # >>104255719 # >>104256062 # >>104256105 # >>104256125 # >>104256201 # >>104256318 # >>104256588 # >>104257052 # >>104257065 # >>104257223 # >>104258748 # >>104260194 # >>104260543 # >>104260866 # >>104261001 # : Anonymous 4 04/15/19(Mon)02:54:56 No.104244609 >>104244566 #

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Anon is the ultimate loli connoisseur. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cel| >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)18:51:12 No.873933899 >be me >retarded >have a friend who lost function of his legs temporarily >doctors say it was a miracle that he even gained feeling back >having a get together with his 112 KB JPG friends and family >starts talking about physical therapy > says something like “Yeah, lost control of the car but I'm getting feeling back and I'm starting to drive again. Pretty soon l'll be able to drive all the time" >autism activates "Baby steps man" >his family is horrified >hear someone gasp in shock >think I heard someone snicker My life is f------ ruined

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Anon gets cucked. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I've been cucked 03/07/22(Mon)03:38:32 No.67685849 >be femanon >have 6/10 bf >he's really nice and thougtful so it's solid 7/10 >sex.exe regularly >sometime he wants me to put this on, pic related >don't think much about it, maybe just 125 KB JPG what he likes >until one day he murmured "Rose" while sleeping after sex.exe >w-- is he cheating me? >ask him directly who is Rose? he admits it's a 2D character I wear her costume all the time tfw I've been cucked by a 12 years old who doesn't exist. maybe he thinks about her all the times we have sex not me. Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)03:41:46 No.67685872 >>67685849 (OP) Her name is ROSA you uneducated swine 368 KB PNG

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/r9k/ gives excellent advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:18:27 No.67683488 >be 11 >store all my legos in the closet in a room that no one uses >one day sister's friend come over >she finds the legos i've built and collected 65 KB PNG >destroys all of them >find out about it after she leaves >fall into a great depression >quit legos because of it that bitch.. : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:22:19 No.67683531 >>67683488 (OP) # You should find her and stalk her 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)14:05:38 No.67684606 >>67683488 (OP) # Build a Lego hammer and beat her to death

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Greentext Stories - Anon meets a creep... | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for SIDES CRIPPLED 153 KB JPG amerifags) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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