Anon has a reality glitch | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 ► 2>26586317> File: pepe jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago

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Anon Goes Clubbing | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous (ID: (NqDXNI66)E 03/06/22(Sun)20:48:55 No.365652530 >met 4 girls in the club with my friends >they said they are going home and that we should come >frens said that we should probably go home instead cause they were too tired >we go home >called my buddy and told him that something feels off to me 17 KB JPG >he told me that they are on their way to the girls' dorm >turns out I wasn't invited 122 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon dodged an emotionally unstable bullet. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Femanons explain this 08/22/19(Thu)06:32:21 No.54029533 >be me >talk to cute girl >l'm totally into her >seems like she's into me as well >ask girl out >girl says no >okie dokie, moving on >later hear from mutual friend that girl was wondering as to why I gave up so easily in trying to pursue her 1.77 MB GIF

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Anon leads a surprisingly normal life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie 136 KB JPG >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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Anon starts a restaurant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?

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Anon finds the love of his life | /r/Greentext

LTE 12:41 : Anonymous EE 04/15/19(Mon)02:52:23 No.104244566 My mom found my trap folder and asked if that was my thing. Sperged out and told her it's not what she thinks. Anyhow later she introduced me to a young cousin who is a trap and well now we are dating since 3 years ago. He was 15, I was 22 >>104244609 # >>104244614 # >>104244621 # >>104244643 # >>104244651 # >>104244665 # >>104244674 # >>104244691 # >>104244747 # >>104244773 # >>104244775 # >>104244880 # >>104244947 # >>104244952 # >>104244970 # >>104244985 # >>104245037 # >>104245050 # >>104245072 # >>104245100 # >>104245127 # >>104245140 # >>104245414 # >>104245486 # >>104245546 # >>104245588 # >>104245615 # >>104245664 # >>104245669 # >>104245746 # >>104246505 # >>104246513 # >>104246930 # >>104247295 # >>104247430 # >>104248475 # >>104248647 # >>104248880 # >>104248958 # >>104249345 # >>104250572 # >>104250661 # >>104251294 # >>104251538 # >>104251638 # >>104251745 # >>104252032 # >>104252052 # >>104252158 # >>104252231 # >>104252254 # >>104252305 # >>104252328 # >>104252637 # >>104252718 # >>104252935 # >>104254186 # >>104254412 # >>104254427 # >>104254462 # >>104254635 # >>104254709 # >>104254957 # >>104255327 # >>104255355 # >>104255419 # >>104255612 # >>104255613 # >>104255719 # >>104256062 # >>104256105 # >>104256125 # >>104256201 # >>104256318 # >>104256588 # >>104257052 # >>104257065 # >>104257223 # >>104258748 # >>104260194 # >>104260543 # >>104260866 # >>104261001 # : Anonymous 4 04/15/19(Mon)02:54:56 No.104244609 >>104244566 #

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Anon is the ultimate loli connoisseur. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cel| >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)18:51:12 No.873933899 >be me >retarded >have a friend who lost function of his legs temporarily >doctors say it was a miracle that he even gained feeling back >having a get together with his 112 KB JPG friends and family >starts talking about physical therapy > says something like “Yeah, lost control of the car but I'm getting feeling back and I'm starting to drive again. Pretty soon l'll be able to drive all the time" >autism activates "Baby steps man" >his family is horrified >hear someone gasp in shock >think I heard someone snicker My life is f------ ruined

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Anon gets cucked. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I've been cucked 03/07/22(Mon)03:38:32 No.67685849 >be femanon >have 6/10 bf >he's really nice and thougtful so it's solid 7/10 >sex.exe regularly >sometime he wants me to put this on, pic related >don't think much about it, maybe just 125 KB JPG what he likes >until one day he murmured "Rose" while sleeping after sex.exe >w-- is he cheating me? >ask him directly who is Rose? he admits it's a 2D character I wear her costume all the time tfw I've been cucked by a 12 years old who doesn't exist. maybe he thinks about her all the times we have sex not me. Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)03:41:46 No.67685872 >>67685849 (OP) Her name is ROSA you uneducated swine 368 KB PNG

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/r9k/ gives excellent advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:18:27 No.67683488 >be 11 >store all my legos in the closet in a room that no one uses >one day sister's friend come over >she finds the legos i've built and collected 65 KB PNG >destroys all of them >find out about it after she leaves >fall into a great depression >quit legos because of it that bitch.. : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:22:19 No.67683531 >>67683488 (OP) # You should find her and stalk her 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)14:05:38 No.67684606 >>67683488 (OP) # Build a Lego hammer and beat her to death

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Anon gets the cops called on him | /r/Greentext

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Saving yourself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no 62 KB JPG >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...

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