Anon f----- up | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: z+uozmre 02/08/19(Fri)02:27:33 No.202485839 I impregnated a british girl. 16 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: E8Ggffzm 02/08/19(Fri)02:30:01 No.202485981 >>202485839 (OP) # Sunni or Shia? >>202486020 # >>202486133 # >>202486273 # >>202486923 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes to the playground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/18(Mon)22:00:33 No.767972929 >>767971805 (OP) # Told this story by my dad but only remember a bit of it. FINE >be me >small child >at playground inside the mall >pretty trashy and small but good for small 186 KB PNG childern >go to talk to and play with other childern >child starts wailing on me for no reason >l get up and move to another group of kids and start to play with them >after a little bit the kid who was wailing on me comes over to me and starts waking on me again >this happens to me at least 5 more times of me going to other groups of kids only to have him follow me and keep hitting me >eventually I had enough of his s--- >go up to top of play structure >kid follows me up and starts hitting me a bunch again >push him off >he falls onto the concrete be loans a loud crunch is heard >crys from concerned parents ring out >nothing is said from him though he doesn't even move >my dad then said he ran up the structure scooped me up and ran away >we got in the car and drove off and never went to that mall for a few years >dad says I might have killed that kid and he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that which is why he bolted

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Anon infiltrates Female Dating Strategy | /r/Greentext

>Be me, male anon. Hear about female dating strategy aka FDS >Read their posts. What a bunch of psycho-bitches >Realize they are an all female 4Chan >Decide to infiltrate 20 KB JPG >Make fake account, pretend to be woman. Become a member >Start posting, follow their bizarre cult like rules >Slowly tilt comments away from hive mind. Don't be obvious. Go slow. Change the conversation >MFW they've got a man deep inside them and don't know it

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Anon gets attacked by some Pokémon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous oh god they're almost at the d(...) 10/22/18(Mon)20:38:53 No.20165545 > Be me > 26 > Make a slightly Ant-Furry shitpost on tumblr > 2 days later > Night > See flickering orange light 47 KB JPG outside windows > MFW they're lighting torches, and are preparing to breach the door Time sensitive question; what do.

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Just as the Founding Fathers intended | /r/Greentext

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Anon pranks his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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Anon watches Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:31:08 No.163620959 1639852736051.gif 1.48 MB GIF >Attention young students; as many of you already know, a certain mass murderer has escaped from the Azakaben Magical Prison/Perpetual Torture Facility. This may seem concerning as nobody has ever been known to escape from Azkaben before and because, by all reports, he is specifically targeting a student of this very school. Nevertheless I assure you we have taken all the necessary precautions. Among those precautions are the Dementors. Yes, the demonic jailers from the very same magical prison whom this killer has already learned to allude. I would also like to inform you all that those horrible specters floating above every entrance and patrolling the school grounds do indeed harbor no regard for human life nor posses the ability to differentiate innocent students from the vile murderers whom they do torment. That said however, with all likelihood they will not try to suck out and consume your living soul so long as you stay out of their way and have not had a particularly hard lot in life. In light of this information I still elect not to include the effective Patronus Charm spell into your yearly curriculums. If you do, for whatever reason, still desire to further protect your young soul from these ghastly wraiths you will be able to stay after hours with the known werewolf I have employed this year. Good luck.

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annon is concerned about mens health | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)09:41:03 No.783847236 >November devoted to mens health particularly prostate cancer >you retards promote not masturbating which has scientifically proven negative effects on the prostate 3 KB PNG

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)16:45:43 No.872357193 >be me 2018 URGER ING >school's IT room doesn't allow you to change wallpaper or you'll get scolded or something >bastard brain remembers the post about the slideshow background >good idea fairy taps my brain with 30 KB JPG her little wand >take a screenshot of the desktop with icons arranged differently >take screenshots but with a thin white line across using paint >one frame of p--- >place them in one folder with 200 copies of the normal wallpaper >set slideshow settings to the folder >change every minute >Hide folder deep in the drive >rinse and repeat on 5 other computers with the same game-plan >Chaos >IT assistants eventually find the folder, check the date and time >my class is held for questioning >never got discovered >case is dropped and computers are returned to normal >I will be back 1 Reply View Thread

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Anons teacher uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school, we've got a substitute teacher >working on presentations >put links to hentaihaven and /b/ in the bibliography because autism >sub asks if he can look through our presentation >he's nearly at the end, suddenly remember the links >ohshit.jpg >he sees them >"why do you have that s--- here, you're too young for /b/" >ask him how he knows what's on /b/ >doesn't answer >mfw teachers a btard >mfw he's probably gonna see this Hi Mr H

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Anon goes to the internet sages for advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:52:14 No.820774024 >walking into bedroom >GF grabs my balls >Honks them like a a bike horn >Get a boner >she giggles and kisses me then runs away 122 KB PNG Why are women so weird Bros? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:53:47 No.820774113 you're the who popped the boner : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:54:10 No.820774134 >>820774024 (OP) # duh, that's where you grab her t--- and honk them twice while yelling honk honk. alternatively, next time she's naked, grab her n------, gently turn them and make radio noises. 820774313 tH

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Anon learns the way to fix their chest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)09:59:00 No.48760867 What exercise to improve on this condition? 16 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)10:01:38 No.48760890 3 KB JPG

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Anon Born in wrong generation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 784014849 22 min temu >born too late to explore the world. >born too early to have genetically engineered catgirl gf it really /B/ that way sometimes. 31,9 kB JPG 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 784015041 18 min temu >>784014849 (OP) >born just at the right time to shipost on /b/ 30,0 kB JPG

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