Anon pranks his brother | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon watches Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:31:08 No.163620959 1639852736051.gif 1.48 MB GIF >Attention young students; as many of you already know, a certain mass murderer has escaped from the Azakaben Magical Prison/Perpetual Torture Facility. This may seem concerning as nobody has ever been known to escape from Azkaben before and because, by all reports, he is specifically targeting a student of this very school. Nevertheless I assure you we have taken all the necessary precautions. Among those precautions are the Dementors. Yes, the demonic jailers from the very same magical prison whom this killer has already learned to allude. I would also like to inform you all that those horrible specters floating above every entrance and patrolling the school grounds do indeed harbor no regard for human life nor posses the ability to differentiate innocent students from the vile murderers whom they do torment. That said however, with all likelihood they will not try to suck out and consume your living soul so long as you stay out of their way and have not had a particularly hard lot in life. In light of this information I still elect not to include the effective Patronus Charm spell into your yearly curriculums. If you do, for whatever reason, still desire to further protect your young soul from these ghastly wraiths you will be able to stay after hours with the known werewolf I have employed this year. Good luck.

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annon is concerned about mens health | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)09:41:03 No.783847236 >November devoted to mens health particularly prostate cancer >you retards promote not masturbating which has scientifically proven negative effects on the prostate 3 KB PNG

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)16:45:43 No.872357193 >be me 2018 URGER ING >school's IT room doesn't allow you to change wallpaper or you'll get scolded or something >bastard brain remembers the post about the slideshow background >good idea fairy taps my brain with 30 KB JPG her little wand >take a screenshot of the desktop with icons arranged differently >take screenshots but with a thin white line across using paint >one frame of p--- >place them in one folder with 200 copies of the normal wallpaper >set slideshow settings to the folder >change every minute >Hide folder deep in the drive >rinse and repeat on 5 other computers with the same game-plan >Chaos >IT assistants eventually find the folder, check the date and time >my class is held for questioning >never got discovered >case is dropped and computers are returned to normal >I will be back 1 Reply View Thread

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Anons teacher uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school, we've got a substitute teacher >working on presentations >put links to hentaihaven and /b/ in the bibliography because autism >sub asks if he can look through our presentation >he's nearly at the end, suddenly remember the links >ohshit.jpg >he sees them >"why do you have that s--- here, you're too young for /b/" >ask him how he knows what's on /b/ >doesn't answer >mfw teachers a btard >mfw he's probably gonna see this Hi Mr H

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Anon goes to the internet sages for advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:52:14 No.820774024 >walking into bedroom >GF grabs my balls >Honks them like a a bike horn >Get a boner >she giggles and kisses me then runs away 122 KB PNG Why are women so weird Bros? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:53:47 No.820774113 you're the who popped the boner : Anonymous 02/15/20(Sat)14:54:10 No.820774134 >>820774024 (OP) # duh, that's where you grab her t--- and honk them twice while yelling honk honk. alternatively, next time she's naked, grab her n------, gently turn them and make radio noises. 820774313 tH

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Anon learns the way to fix their chest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)09:59:00 No.48760867 What exercise to improve on this condition? 16 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)10:01:38 No.48760890 3 KB JPG

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Anon Born in wrong generation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 784014849 22 min temu >born too late to explore the world. >born too early to have genetically engineered catgirl gf it really /B/ that way sometimes. 31,9 kB JPG 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 784015041 18 min temu >>784014849 (OP) >born just at the right time to shipost on /b/ 30,0 kB JPG

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Anon loves science | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science

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Anon is dating a half asian girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/16(Sat)22:51:13 No.707973951 I'm dating a half asian girl her mom is korean and her dad is also korean her legs were ripped off in a car accident >>707974093 # >>707974306 #

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Anon is Perv-Autist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49093368 3 hr. ago >got caught stealing my little sister's panties >mom won't let me out of my room >says she'll call the police if I come out for anything other than food or the bathroom 86.3 kB PNG 23 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 49093394 3 hr. ago •.. Degenerates like you should be hanged or executed by firing squad. Kill yourself 4 REPLIES

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Anon and the birthday surprise | /r/Greentext

No.49112458 18 minutes ago vip-mitsey-21.jpg JPG 1.7 MiB 2448x3264 >be me >Be going to rich banker friends wife's suprise birthday party >Everyone is hiding in the dark downstairs including their dog mitsey >She comes home and she's upstairs for a while >All of a sudden we all here "Mitsey where are you Mitsey?" >Bitch comes running down the stairs butt ass naked with peanut butter on her snatch for the dog to lick off >We only realize it after the light turns on and we yell suprise >Tfw she disappears the next day >Tfw no one heard from her again >Tfw she probably killed herself

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Anon has Anxiety | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/19(Fri)16:45:16 No.796199748 >have severe anxiety >sick of it >try cutting out caffeine for a week >anxiety worse >look up caffeine withdrawal symptoms >mfw its anxiety 161 KB PNG 10 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread

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