Anon makes a deal with the devil | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper 19 KB JPG and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon sends Snapchat streaks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:02:15 No.872080322 Fellas, am I stupid or is this girl stupid? >be me >senior in high school >have Snapchat 23 KB JPG >this girl adds me >l barely know her, I think I sat next to her once in sophomore year >decide to send streaks >"I don't do streaks" >huh.mp4 >ask her why >"streaks take so much time to do and also we're high schoolers and streaks are for middle schoolers lol" Am I disabled or is this girl actually f------ retarded? It takes a total of 10 seconds to do streaks and everyone I have streaks with is a junior or above at my school. I cannot fathom this s---. : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:04:00 No.872080431 >>872080322 (OP) # What the f--- do you mean by "streaks", kiddo? l'm not hip to your jive.

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Sanest man on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)02:32:46 No.67290413 >at gfs house >casually binging youtube while she takes a shower >she asks me to give her a new bath towel >open the door to give her the 215 KB GIF towel >shes not there >the shower isnt even on >take a moment to process >im in someone's house >last time I talked to anyone was 10 yrs ago >never had a GF (29) >the walls are turning to white >a straight jacket is wrapped around me >im a the psych ward >mfw I trolled myself again by taking the meds

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Anon meets the shadow man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)07:23:16 No.30900816 Almost certainly a dream; but I remember >being a kid waking up in middle of night at grandparents house, >get out of race car bed for a drink >go downstairs >shadow man with wide brimmed hat sitting on couch >l sit on his lap Don't remember much else >>30902486 # >>30910604 # >>30911784 # >>30917149 # >>30921638 # : Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)10:11:44 No.30911784 >>30900816 # >be shadow man >going about my shadow business one night >floating through a house, decide to take a break on the couch >oh s--- this kid's still awake >instead of screaming and running away he just comes in and sits on my lap >get kind of sad because he must be lonely as s---

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Anon goes on a run | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.

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Anon chews 5 gum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/18(Sun)22:59:29 No.781775753 >be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >Its technically a date >Dinner and movie 5 KB PNG >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum

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Anon fails 1th grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op

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Anon failed highschool biology | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:20:10 No.872048602 How do I sell one of my livers on the dark web? 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:28:27 No.872049007 >>872048602 (OP) # dont we just have one liver?? >>872049092 # >>872049115 # : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:29:53 No.872049080 >>872048602(OP) # >one of my livers anon...im sorry to break it to you : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:30:04 No.872049092 >>872049007 # Shush, dont ruin this.

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)11:00:59 No.67059989 1635796847882.jpg 17 KB JPG >>67059001 (OP) # >get into an argument with someone >use a personal tragedy of theirs to make them really upset (ie: "Is [this opinion] why your mom killed herself?") >they stop arguing with me

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Anon is cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:47:43 No.872042631 >be me >have gf who i love so much >breaks up with me two weeks ago >says she just can't be in a relationship at the moment 11 KB JPG >needs to focus on herself >hurt immensely but i understand >look at the bright side, can focus entirely on myself now to0 >she still wants to be friends and at least get coffee sometimes >see her yesterday >she says shes seeing someone new >"idk it just happened out of nowhere anon" >pain.jpg >dont know what to say, just tell her i need to go home >so much pain How could she do this to me bros, why are women so evil? So much for wanting to focus on herself Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:49:59 No.872042731 >>872042631 (OP) # She lied to you ! F------ cuck ! Kill then both 45 KB JPG

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Anon gets vaccinated against the Coof | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)15:18:45 No.851455113 > Be me > Decide to get vaccine > Drive on over to the vaccination center in my town > as soon as I get there I notice a mob across the street > it's a group of anti-vacc retards 4 KB JPG chanting "Vaccines cause autism" and "COVID vaccine is a microchip" > think they are just a group of paranoid dipshits > proceed to head inside > fill out paperwork and await my shot > wait in a room along with hundreds of other people > biggest crowd of people I've seen in a room since the quarantine > after around an hour I get the shot > get told to come back in two weeks for the next dose > leave building > crowd of dipshits are still chanting > get in car > Head home > about half way I start getting a little drowsy > tough it out until I get home > as soon as I get home I fall on my couch > pass the f--- out > when I wake up I notice a loading bar > "Downloading Autisim.exe" > F--- > Bar is at 98% > lay there in fear > 99% > start to cry > Error: Autism.exe already Running on system > MFW I've had autism this whole time

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Anyone could be an orca online and you'll never know | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #

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Anon's stepsister likes the show with underage nudity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)13:13:16 No.872030622 >tfw your 10 year-old step-daughter watches Big Mouth >tfw you try to show her South Park as you thought she'd like it more >tfw she says South Park is cringe This generation, I swear. 40 KB JPG 64 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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