Anon gets trolled by the maintenance man | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)14:59:17 No.871378087 >maintenance guy for apartment goes into my place while l'm at work >installing new fire alarm >go home, see alarm >it's one of those alarms that beeps 217 KB PNG all the time >dumbass installed it directly above my toaster >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Going to Brazil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 01/25/22(Tue)09:03:27 No.158661656 Some idiot just brought some s--- NFT I made Do people buy NFTS in your country? 7 KB JPG : Anonymous I3 01/25/22(Tue)09:04:17 No.158661697 >>158661656 (OP) # Did you take a picture of yourself and sell it as one of those monkey NFTS? >>158661764 # >>158661805 # >>158661896 # >>158662244 # >>158662285 # >>158662357 # >>158662407 # >>158662499 # >>158662650 #

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Anons amazing dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)06:51:31 No.586428691 >>586428424 # >sadako-like ghost showed up in my dream >try to r--- her >wake up >never have ghost shows up in my dream again 304 KB PNG >>586429004 # >>586429201 # >>586431523 # >>586432276 #

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Anon plays roblox | /r/Greentext

File: 09d jpg (15 KB, 400x400) O Anonymous (ID: TADg/d01) II >take meth >play roblox for 2 days non stop 10/10, will once again

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Anon hates fat people | /r/Greentext

Not Secure - boards.4channel.org Board fit/ - Fitness Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 10/18/19(Fri)22:47:15 No.52828256 Fat people story >On an airplane to Asia >Sitting in my seat when I see this 400 pound sack of s--- trying to sit between two Japanese cuties >Squeezes into his seat and immediately asks for a soda >That plane hasn't even took off yet, you fat c--- >With morbid curiosity I watch him intently, as he eats numerous meals, double snacks, three mini cartons of mochi ice cream >Disgust, unending >Watch as he gets up to try and fit in the airplane toilet >Fits, barely >Comes back to the disgust of the Japanese girls and the stewardess >ls a smelly, disgusting pain in the ass the entire trip >By this point this f------ f------ existence is pissing me off >Can't stand it anymore, so when the plane lands I catch that f----- in the bathroom in Asia >Look him dead in the eyes and tell him how f------ much I hate him and how he needs to change his ways so he doesn't die a fat ugly corpse >I punch him, hoping to drive the point home >The mirror spiderwebs, and I cut my hand I've lost 250 pounds since then, down from 440 to 190. I'm still in Asia, but now that l'm normal i think I'll come home. >>52828438 # >>52828457 # >>52828485 # >>52828555 # >>52828948 # >>52829627 # >>52829663 # >>52829999 # >>52832150 # >>52833538 # >>52834095 # >>52834248 # >>52834277 # >>52835765 # >>52835832 #

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based on a true(?) story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:34:58 No.128453757 >be me >be minority >have lil sister I love >want to protect her from bad hood >get in a fight with crime boss who pushes drugs >lose >get arrested by corrupt cop >get locked up for 7 years >everyday i miss my sister >hope she doing alright >god i miss her >7 years later >finally get out >boyicantwaittoseemysister.jpg >mfw my sister works for the crime boss >mfw she has PTSD from the death of some ganger friends >mfw she fell in the cycle of violence i was tryin to protect her from >mfw she blames me for not being there >jesusfuckingchrist.png > > >be Vi from Arcane >pic unrelated

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Anon is terrified by alphaness of college student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)02:45:58 No.871401082 >go to public restroom to change >wore too many layers while biking to class so l'm sweaty >two guys enter >one of them says something about hating public restrooms then enters a stall 141 KB PNG >proceeds to let out a fat BRAAAP >l can hear his multiple logs hitting the water >he didn't hold back, he just let everything out in one go >hear him groan "Kachaow" >he proceeds to keep groaning in pain while letting out more logs >l am frozen with fear and don't make a sound, just wait for him to leave so this is what community college is like?

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Anon is literally the Joker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:19:12 No.871389616 Itt; times you were literally the Joker >Be me at Walmart >Bump into a shelf and knock over juice >Dont tell an employee and just leave DAMAGED 332 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:33 No.871389704 >>871389616 (OP)# >be me >be at walmart >see a sign >sign says "Wet Floor - walk with caution" >proceed to NOT WALK WITH CAUTION DEEEVVVILLLIISSSSHHH!!! : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:51 No.871389716 >>871389616 (OP) # Are you 12 years old yet? F------ moron.

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Anon Provokes a gang war over horse waifus | /r/Greentext

>Be me R18 Mexican Hentai Artist >See Unamusume >Damnhorsegirlsarecute.jpeg >Proceed to draw R18 of teenage horse girls >Post it on PIXIV >Notice that my art seems popular with the Japanese user base since they 40 KB JPG comment the most >Out of curiousity Google translate some of them >find out about the whole Yakuza not wanting you to draw teenage horse tiddy of horse girls >laugh as I live in Mexico and the yakuza can't do s--- to me >Very next day Hired Yakuza hackers proceed to hack the laptop I use and delete my PIXIV account along with my entire hard drive >Older Brother who actually owns the laptop is livid because he is part of a cartel and his hard drive contained important information for the cartel >older brother tells fellow cartel members what happened >Think it's an unprovoked attack by the Yakuza >they proceed to track down Yakuza Hackers in Japan and send hitmen to take them out >Hitmen succeed >Yakuza are livid because to them this was an unprovoked attack by the cartels >Gang War Imminent between 2 criminal organizations across oceans >Mfw me drawing teenage horse tiddy sparked a gang war

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Anon makes a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon being social retard in college | /r/Greentext

>be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs 48 KB JPG >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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Anon debates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:17:45 No.871375922 >>871352659 (OP) # You get called racist so many times for minor or imagined issues that it no longer registers when you get called racist for actual racism. : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:22:48 No.871376185 >College >Speech 101 >Have to debate another student regarding the effects of gentrification >Excited for the assignment and develop a well prepared essay >Debating against Tyrone >"Gentrification is racist as s---, kickin people out of their homes." >Start picking apart his points >"Yo, f--- you, racist." >Teacher calls for order >Ask him to not sink to ad homonym attacks >"You's a h----nym. AYYY" >Class chimps out >Teacher ends the class early >Asks me to stay after >Offers me a 95 passing grade if I agree to not come back to class >>871376387 # >>871376443 #

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You don't have to act like everything is okay if it isn't. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)11:02:27 No.7496833 > Be me > Spent all free time with gf for years > Lost long term gf and subsequently best friend > Realize that I have no other friends > Leaving Uni class when 'cool' social circle says "sup anon" 19 KB JPG >I stop and make small talk > Don't want to f--- up > Ask how my winter break was, and how gf is. > Say that its not a thing anymore > trying-not-to-cry-in-public.jpg| > Group goes quiet > "Hey Anon we are going to the pub join us" > w-- really? "Sure" > All get drinks, ask me how l'm feeling, and lets me vent > Feelsgood.gif > All super understanding dudes, I had no idea >I can now laugh about the situation > They learn I'm a music guy > Some of them are great musicians too > We set up a metal band > 2019 is going to be a lot different. And I like it.

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