Anon is terrified by alphaness of college student | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)02:45:58 No.871401082 >go to public restroom to change >wore too many layers while biking to class so l'm sweaty >two guys enter >one of them says something about hating public restrooms then enters a stall 141 KB PNG >proceeds to let out a fat BRAAAP >l can hear his multiple logs hitting the water >he didn't hold back, he just let everything out in one go >hear him groan "Kachaow" >he proceeds to keep groaning in pain while letting out more logs >l am frozen with fear and don't make a sound, just wait for him to leave so this is what community college is like?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is literally the Joker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:19:12 No.871389616 Itt; times you were literally the Joker >Be me at Walmart >Bump into a shelf and knock over juice >Dont tell an employee and just leave DAMAGED 332 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:33 No.871389704 >>871389616 (OP)# >be me >be at walmart >see a sign >sign says "Wet Floor - walk with caution" >proceed to NOT WALK WITH CAUTION DEEEVVVILLLIISSSSHHH!!! : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:51 No.871389716 >>871389616 (OP) # Are you 12 years old yet? F------ moron.

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Anon Provokes a gang war over horse waifus | /r/Greentext

>Be me R18 Mexican Hentai Artist >See Unamusume >Damnhorsegirlsarecute.jpeg >Proceed to draw R18 of teenage horse girls >Post it on PIXIV >Notice that my art seems popular with the Japanese user base since they 40 KB JPG comment the most >Out of curiousity Google translate some of them >find out about the whole Yakuza not wanting you to draw teenage horse tiddy of horse girls >laugh as I live in Mexico and the yakuza can't do s--- to me >Very next day Hired Yakuza hackers proceed to hack the laptop I use and delete my PIXIV account along with my entire hard drive >Older Brother who actually owns the laptop is livid because he is part of a cartel and his hard drive contained important information for the cartel >older brother tells fellow cartel members what happened >Think it's an unprovoked attack by the Yakuza >they proceed to track down Yakuza Hackers in Japan and send hitmen to take them out >Hitmen succeed >Yakuza are livid because to them this was an unprovoked attack by the cartels >Gang War Imminent between 2 criminal organizations across oceans >Mfw me drawing teenage horse tiddy sparked a gang war

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Anon makes a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon being social retard in college | /r/Greentext

>be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs 48 KB JPG >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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Anon debates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:17:45 No.871375922 >>871352659 (OP) # You get called racist so many times for minor or imagined issues that it no longer registers when you get called racist for actual racism. : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:22:48 No.871376185 >College >Speech 101 >Have to debate another student regarding the effects of gentrification >Excited for the assignment and develop a well prepared essay >Debating against Tyrone >"Gentrification is racist as s---, kickin people out of their homes." >Start picking apart his points >"Yo, f--- you, racist." >Teacher calls for order >Ask him to not sink to ad homonym attacks >"You's a h----nym. AYYY" >Class chimps out >Teacher ends the class early >Asks me to stay after >Offers me a 95 passing grade if I agree to not come back to class >>871376387 # >>871376443 #

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You don't have to act like everything is okay if it isn't. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)11:02:27 No.7496833 > Be me > Spent all free time with gf for years > Lost long term gf and subsequently best friend > Realize that I have no other friends > Leaving Uni class when 'cool' social circle says "sup anon" 19 KB JPG >I stop and make small talk > Don't want to f--- up > Ask how my winter break was, and how gf is. > Say that its not a thing anymore > trying-not-to-cry-in-public.jpg| > Group goes quiet > "Hey Anon we are going to the pub join us" > w-- really? "Sure" > All get drinks, ask me how l'm feeling, and lets me vent > Feelsgood.gif > All super understanding dudes, I had no idea >I can now laugh about the situation > They learn I'm a music guy > Some of them are great musicians too > We set up a metal band > 2019 is going to be a lot different. And I like it.

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Autistic things that videogames Made you do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)12:03:23 No.351121002 Autistic things that video games made you do >get job at warehouse >strapping trucks and securing stock loads >first day learning the ropes >get asked to go find a wrench 92 KB JPG >really bored >pretend I am in a video game >"find wrench, press E to pick up Wrench" >pick wrench up and hold it infront of me like an FPS >start running around pretending to be in FPS >looking up and down and around >supervisor and district recruiter see me >get called into office >asked to leave the site Safe to say I never got called back in

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Anon is a mastermind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)11:32:17 No.870570204 >be me >Romanian >Pirated 100+ games, including Indies since 2015 >Probably saved 2000$ doing that >Torrent all my movies, saved 100s of dollars doing so >Why do f--- waste money 21 KB JPG >/b/ please explain

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Anon needs bathroom advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 minutes ago 760428142 Ideas on how to s--- without making noise. Do you dislike people hearing you роop? Improvise! My idea is not to use the toilet seat and dip your ass in the water so you can stealthily s--- underwater. Anyone got better ideas? 4 REPLIES Anonymous 5 minutes ago 760428230 >760428142 (OP) Anyone wanna test this out? Anonymous 4 minutes ago 760428345 s--- in ur hands, then lower it into the bowl. rinse well. 1 REPLY Anonymous 1 minute ago 760428475 >>760428142 (OP) Put a bed of toilet paper on the water before s-------, that has the added bonus of no splashing. I do it every time. When you flush that s--- down, it is as if you were wrapping it up as a present to the s--- lords.

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Anon plays Silent Hill 3 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room

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Anon is racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:47:27 No.871356437 I made a black person rage > Join a discord voice chat > black guy is being obnoxious > Ignore him for a while > He starts yelling > I tell him "you're the reason segregation happened" 109 KB JPG > He goes full monkey mode everyone (including the black guy) left the voice chat after that

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Anon dont likes tips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:52:37 No.871359757 gigachad.jpg 56 KB JPG >order food >priority delivery, so the driver has to drive directly to my house instead of delivering other people's food first >no tip added

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