Anon goes on Reddit, again | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.

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Anon laughs at Canada's military | /r/Greentext

Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC

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Wholesome, real, and straight... maybe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it

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Anon has no fingers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon tries to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!

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"Those bastards lied to me" | /r/Greentext

No. 870510680 01/12/22(Wed)06:19:14 EtJsllQXcAAZPrZ.jpg 31 KB 360x310 >come to 4chan to look at funny hilarious characters interact with each other in charming ways >instead see a lot of gore and p--- >try to rationalize seeing a lady get hit by a car while twerking >feel bad about bad things that happen to people >get called a n----- >try to look at normal p--- afterwards but everything looks gross now >hate women slightly now What the f--- was I thinking 8 replies, 4 images No. 870510768 01/12/22(Wed)06:22:36 1638080408380.png 75 KB 296x190 >>870510680 Welcome to the family you f------ n-----.

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Anons retarded friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)21:58:28 No.797021790 Autistic technology stories I'll start >be me 14 at the time >maths teacher let's our class go to the computer 4 KB PNG room >fuckyeah.jpg >download and play runescape on one of the computers >friend sitting next to me starts panicking and looks over at me >his screen got unplugged >howthefuckdidyoudothat.jpg >he tells me to plug it back in for him because he does not know how >and he says do NOT look at the screen >plug it in >mfw it's f------ furry p--- >mfw it's sonic vore This is why I can't be friends with that tardI have countless stories of him and his autism

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Anon thinks about something big and starts feeling good | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804062733 11 min. fa •.• >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it 203,4 kB JPG >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.

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Rip............. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me I dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459

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Anon knows his friend from TOP to BOTTOM | /r/Greentext

AnonymouS No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? 1 reply

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching t.v. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageovérfeel.png >10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon sees the future | /r/Greentext

> be me in 2025 > wake up > brush my teeth > stick government mandated COVID testing toothbrush down my throat for mandatory morning test > be negative 22 KB JPG > old piece of bread and water for breakfast because no more food > go shopping > need to do blood test before entering super market > wait in queue for two hours > super market shelves basically empty because no more supply chain > buy more old bread > bread now costs $299 per loaf because inflation > go to get daily mandatory booster > need to do noon COVID test before getting booster > no more rapid tests, so doctor sticks toothbrush down my throat again > COVID variants ran out of Greek letters in 2022, names now sponsored by companies > test negative for Pepsi Light variant, but have only had seven boosters against new Snickers Extra Crunchy variant > get my eight booster > win booster bingo because this was my 50th vaccination with Pfizer in a row > get free ice cream > haven't had any sweets since the great dairy and sugar shortage began in 2023 > mfw this is literally the best day in years

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