Christmas Money Well Spent | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)08:39:59 No.870499079 >be me, 19 >friend gave me $25 for christmas >get excited cause free fun money >realize that I actually don't want anything >just used it to buy gas god f------ damnit is this what growing up 60 KB JPG feels like

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Chad >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.

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Anon decides to not have depression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/06/21 (Thu)20:52:32 No.853820308 >be me >have deppression >go to hospital for suicidal thoughts >got meds that never worked 9 KB JPG >realize deppression is cringe >litteraly just decide to not have it anymore >mfw it f------ worked 1 Reply View Thread

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Anons wife has a bun in the oven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/18(Wed)18:07:40 No.775962516 So my wife is pregnant and we dont know the gender of the child yet. we were talking about names and she asked what names like the most 30 KB JPG >said sarcastically Chad and Stacey while trying not to laugh >mfw she said she likes those name >mfw she said that this could be the names of popular children in school >mfw when she told my and her parents and they also like them fml : Anonymous 08/01/18(Wed)18:24:06 No.775963397 >>775962516 (OP) # Inb4 babyanon will be the first autistic Chad/Stacy

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Anons a wizard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/16(Mon)12:08:04 No.31679831 >be autist >have nothing to do >decide to cast a magic spell because you gotta try every so often in case you DO have those secret anime powers >read 7 is magic number 13 KB PNG >make text document called 77777777777777777777 7777 777777777.txt >write a bunch of names while chanting b------- >next day neighbor is found dead AMA

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Anon is a sea turtle | /r/Greentext

10:31 PM 55% | Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)22:27:35 No.789390928 >be me >Be a sea turtle >In my egg >Be fully formed >"Guess it's time to get out" >get out my egg >F------ UNDER THE F------ SAND!! 29 KB JPG >MY SIBLINGS ALSO COME AND F------ START CLIMBING ON TO EACH OTHER TO GET OUT UNDER THE F------ SAND!!! > Make it out >Finally f------ fresh air >time to get to the ocean >Half way through and f------ bird start eating my brother's >S--- S--- S--- S--- S--- S--- S--- S--- S--- >GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!!!!!!! >BIRD GETS NEAR ME >F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- >human appears out of nowhere and scares bird away >Thanks human >Get in the ocean >Feelsgoodman.jpeg Fast forward a bit >Be fully grown adult sea turtle >Life is good >Mating regularly like a Chad >See jellyfish chilling unsuspected >Snacktime.org >Yeet that bitch >Weird taste >Swallow it >Won't pass through my throat >F------ choke and die >Turns out it was plastic F--- you humans

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Anon is ready to go on a quest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)08:32:59 No.162089873 MOVIECLIPS.cOM 1585413495441.jpg 58 KB JPG >The virus cannot be destroyed by any vaccine that we here possess. Covid-19 was made in the laboratories of Wuhan. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into the Hubei province and cast back into the zoonotic wet- market from whence it came! One of you... must do this. >>162090518 # >>162090529 #

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Anon is the champion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/18(Tue)07:35:37 No.775858580 I miss greentext stories >be me >15 yrs old >2001 48 KB JPG >naïve as f--- >no one home, decide to smoke pot in my room >bigmistake.png >made my own bong out of a water bottle, pens and tin foil >mfw it actually works >l put on an old tape of 80s MTV music videos I found in my dads room and commence the sesh >half an hour later, about 6-8 tokes deep >feelsgoodman >l remember the trip being good, up to this point *knock knock* >l almost d--------- my own drool as I try to get my fat ass up to clean everything "ONE SECOND IM BUSY" >literally trying to throw all my s--- under blankets at mach 5 >my mom tries to open my door to realize it's locked "ANON OPEN THE DOOR" >lt stärts to sink in that I have no way to stop this from happening >the tv is blasting "we are the champions" >irony.png >wait >I look at the screen for a solid couple seconds >idea.jpeg >my mom gets the key for the door and starts to unlock it >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >Without even batting an eye I yank my pants down to the floor >the door opens "I CAN EXPLAIN- THIS" >and there I am, standing there flashing my smelly rancid 15 year old penis to my shocked mother >she looks at the tv >pic related ".what the f--- anon" mfw I convinced my mom that I was jacking off to queen

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Anon is on the case | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)11:57:17 No.162148925 FDED9997-29E2-43FF-98C1-C325275245AA.jpg 136 KB JPG >I checked out her alibi and sure enough, the northern lights tour wasn't running that day >I can't work out whether this broad is for real or this fraud is boreal >>162149135 # >>162150118 # >>162152453 # >>162153371 # >>162155927 #

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Anon has plans | /r/Greentext

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Anon dodged an emotionally unstable bullet. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Femanons explain this 08/22/19(Thu)06:32:21 No.54029533 >be me >talk to cute girl >l'm totally into her >seems like she's into me as well >ask girl out >girl says no >okie dokie, moving on >later hear from mutual friend that girl was wondering as to why I gave up so easily in trying to pursue her 1.77 MB GIF

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Anon has nice gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)07:33:28 No.870488048 >be me, average retard >have gf >see posts about r/femaledatingstrategy, show gf few months ago and laugh >ff to day >see her browsing and commenting >thisaintgood 26 KB JPG >ask what's she's writing >says she tried to comment but ended up getting downvoted for being honest >says she's getting annoyed at them >"they'll never get a man because they're fat bitches on reddit" >she's actively trolling their community >going through one user's posts and commenting "lardo" >"fat lardo" >"lardosaurusrex" >mfw We had good sex today then she made me a pulled pork dinner for my birthday I love this woman

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This made me feel more than I wanted. | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-01-11 224816.jpg (39 KB, 338x343) O Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)22:48:43 No.870472834 >be me, depressed loser, outcast, skinny game addict, living from welfare >never had any joy in life >never go outside >never received love from my family >0 friends, don't even try to find a girl >one day, I do my hasty grocery shopping >social anxiety kills me, even tho no one pays me attention >accidentally bump into someone >its a cute girl >mumble sorry, legs already shaking >she gives me the most innocent smile >its like watching a sunrise >I smile back, something I didn't have in years wells up, a warm feeling >another women approaches >"Oh did my daughter bother you? She is mentally disabled, sorry for that." >Takes her away >l often think about her

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