anon copes | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

O Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)18:08:29 No.66933988 Not really r---, I guess. >first gf i was 18 >getting hot and heavy >was a sperg obviously >she takes my pants and undies off >entire body freeze, i tell her no >she doesn't care, she gets on top no trauma from it, I don't concider it r---.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon does the right thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)15:39:54 No.48688651 >outside lecture hall >smoke c-------- by my lonesome, as usual >7/10 lithuanian girl comes up to me >"hey can i have a c-------- please" 6 KB JPG >"you got a dollar?" >she says no >"cant help you then sorry" >she touches my arm and makes puppy dog eyes >"please i really need one im really stressed out please" >"sorry" >she just sighs and walks away I did good, right? I didn't let women use their charms to take advantage of me

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No setting the bar low | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)22:41:00 No.157739498 >>157739570 >>157739660 >>157739709 >>157740010 >>157740147 >>157740151 >>157740157 >>157740249 dating market for men >must be above 6ft >must be handsome >must have godlike charisma >must have Greek statue body >must not be bald >must have 6 figures job >must be stoic and easily beat every obstacle >must have cool multiple hobbies >must be good at sex but not be a f------

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Anon doesn’t believe in the U.S. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)14:14:14 No.63423667 >be me >british >wake up, eat my black pudding and stale bacon >don't brush my teeth >go to work where I scrape the literal faeces off the streets 23 KB JPG >get stabbed >go to the pub and spend my hard earned 19.50 on 2 pints of stale lager >get stabbed >go back to my revolting 1 bed apartment >eat my undercooked sausages with plain mashed potato >don't brush my teeth >sleep >repeat The UK has to be a prank at this point

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anon will get his life together one day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)18:58:31 No.843989815 >one day /b/ >one day i'll stop being a degenerate >i'll get my life on track >be someone my parents can be proud of >become a revered community 86 KB PNG leader >finish my college degree >get a wife have kids and raise them to not make the same mistakes i have >.. But that day is not today. So please post t------

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Anon needs a router | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHEDP 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?

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Anon meets boomerbro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)22:24:40 No.789323887 >Be me >Works at a small family owned business >Everyday this same customer comes in at a certain time >He always buys the same thing >It's a can of Monster and nothing else >End up being friends with him >He let's me call him Boomerbro 166 KB JPG >Boomerbro usually cracks it open, takes sips, and start up random conversations >The topics range from vidya to football to even politics >Eventually find out that he's actually a pretty chill and funny guy >Boomerbro always cheers me up when I'm depressed >He's never ever sad and is always smiling >Later on for some reason my uncle decided to be cheap and stop selling the can of Monsters >It's like Boomerbro had tingly Monster senses >He stopped showing up >sadness.png >Few weeks went by and he still hasn't shown up >Decided to take matters into my own hand and get the Monsters myself and restock them >Boomerbro calls me one day and tells me he's been sick and has been diagnosed with something, that's why he hasn't been showing up Boomerbro if you're there buddy, this can of Monster is for you. I hope you get well soon.

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Anons Dad is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: V8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Femanon gains weight, anon gets impressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)18:43:21 No.50280934 >get my first boyfriend >been together for nearly a year >put on around thirty pounds since we started dating >he swears he finds me more attractive now than when I was 75 KB JPG lighter Is he being nice or am I just obsessing over it for nothing? 50 Replies / 9 Images View Thread : Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)20:56:49 No.50283151 >>50280934 (OP) # >>put on around thirty pounds since we started dating why? how? in a SINGLE year? f------ hog

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Literally every conversation about Antinous Pius ever. | /r/Greentext

26m (5/6 13:13) · 11058542 3 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 2MB · (2300 × 3066) 2 Replies >become most powerful man on earth >do absolutely nothing Denaranon · 9m (5/6 13:31) · 11058630 >>11058542 (OP) >Become the most powerful man on earth >See that the country is prospering >See that your in an era of peace >Don't spend money on military motions that are unneeded >Spend money for welfare, including starting a orphanage for girls >Devote time to raising children ment to be the best possible heirs >1800 years later >F----- 4channers are mad that you didn't do dumb s---.

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Gabe appears at a game conference | /r/Greentext

File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) O Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot

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Anon is gender fluid | /r/Greentext

File: bastard.png (601 KB, 1293x1132) O Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)03:18:07 No.870440938 >be me >genderfluid >male >walking around with my shirt off >momentarily female >instantly arrested for public nudity

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Ye olde switcheroo | /r/Greentext

No.40240487 16 minutes ago PNG 136.6 KiB 1631x1571 >It's the police. Open up! >Go to the door, start knocking and say "It's the police. Open up!" >We're serious, stop joking around! >reply with "It's the police. Open up!" >lf you do not comply we will break down the door. >reply with "It's the police. Open up!" >This is the last warning, open up now or we will breech the door. >Take my sledgehammer and smash down my own door, proceed to arrest the 4 policemen for not opening the door.

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