Anon drives. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

a real human bean.jpg 2.92 MB JPG >Me and qt coworker finishing work late and closing up >"Ah anon can you drive me home? my dad bailed on me and it's pretty dark" %3D >"... >".yeah I drive" >She smiles and gets in the car with me >On the way home she ask to stop by a gas station to pick up some things >"you give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you're on your own. Do you understand? >she laughs softly and says "you're so cute sometimes anon, I'll be back in a second" >5 minute 1 second later she isn't back >floor it

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon does something nice | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Вe me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anon gets a compliment from a stranger! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg| 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Anon encounters Anon | /r/Greentext

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Anon becomes a functioning member of society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)17:42:33 No.66734422 2010 >NEET >spend all day on the computer >wake up at 12pm usually >go to sleep around 4am >no gf 77 KB JPG >no stress >unlimited free time >j------- whenever I want >sometimes j------- 3 times a day >alone time whenever I want >do what I want when I want >true freedom 2021 >married >have to go to extreme troubles to hide any p--- on my computer >can only go to 4chan in secrecy >no alone time >no free time >have to be up at 5:30 am for work >have to be in bed by 9:30pm >designated j------- time >have to give attention to spouse when home >can't go out alone because she starts calling >no freedom tfw I fell for the gf meme. I want to go back so badly bros. Why the f--- did I listen to you guys?

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Anon thinks about the planet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:25:21 No.869445300 I dont understand why are arent letting covid do it's thing. humans and over population are the true enemy of the planet. If we die, it's a good thing. Mother nature need sus to die. May as well trim off the fat with a disease that only kills boomers and immuno comprimised 66 KB JPG This is why I choose to not wear a mask. F--- people. and f--- strangers. If you're not my family or friend, then you're a c--- unless you prove me wrong : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:28:02 No.869445444 : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:31:19 No.869445633 >>869445300 (OP)_# >sus 8 KB JPG

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Anon is hated by his parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:29:13 No.66742125 >be me >named striker >at coffee shop before I enter the wage cage >shop is relatively crowded >waiting for my coffee to be made so I sit in a booth with some 484 KB GIF teenagers behind me >barista screams out my order >I GOT AN ORDER FOR STRIKER >teenagers behind me start giggling and say that striker is a gay ass name >get to collect my coffee and leave in shame Just an average day with a gay ass name.

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Anon is a rasict | /r/Greentext

>be me >Scrolling TikTok past bedtime >See a YouTuber react to a meme i made months ago >Lose my s--- >Can't believe it 40 KB JPG >Check the comments for the name of the guy >Lil bored X >Watch almost all his videos to see where my meme is >This guy is actually funny >Sub to him >l enjoy watching him >Decides to join his discord >First day goes well >Be today >l forgot i was not on 4chan and said i am rasict to Igbt >Mfw i got banned

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Anon likes Snickers | /r/Greentext

File: D587AAF2-C8C6-4C35-81E6-C(...).jpg (7 KB, 212x249) U Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)03:59:34 No.869443754 >>869443837 >>869443891 >>869444016 >>869444169 >>869444197 >>869444365 >>869444423 >>869444646 >>869444850 >>869445305 >>869445397 >be me >right by where I work there is a gas station >every day before I get to work I buy two snickers >during my lunch break I walk over and buy two more >when I finish my work day I stop by the gas station and buy two more >been doing this every day I work for two years >this morning walk into gas station to buy my snickers >there is a new kid l've never seen before at the cash register >put down my snickers >kid says >"h-------- are you the snickers guy" >I look at him confused >he says "I honestly thought they were joking about you" >lunch break rolls around so I walk back over >the kid is still there and he says while laughing >"h-------- you must love snickers" >I say “they are my favorite candy" >he laughs even harder >I didn't go back for a third time because I was embarrassed W--. Why the f--- are they talking about me when I'm not there? I thought people at cash registers didn't give a f--- about who goes in. W-- am I supposed to do now? O Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)04:01:04 No.869443837 ► >>869444228 >>869444879 >>869445361 >>869443754 (OP) You should go back in there and tell him you're going to become the s--- on the floor guy if he doesn't shut the f--- up.

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Anon is an insomniac | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/20(Fri)06:51:11 No.833783188 >have you tried melatonin >have you tried sleeping pills? >it's because you drink too much caffeine man >you just need to stop worrying >well if you just got in bed and relaxed 33 KB JPG >if you'd get on a routine >if you'd go to bed earlier View Thread

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Anon learns about truck drivers | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)18:50:33 No.24977124 >be me >Work within eyesight of a gas station >Most coworkers like to get gas there as it's fairly cheap compared to other stations nearby >Female coworker has a lifted truck 188 KB JPG with comically large tires >Coworker constantly bitches and moans about the cost to fuel up her car even when Trump was in office >Ask her why she doesn't get a smaller car if it's that much of an issue >Tells me I wouldn't understand and that she "needs" a truck because she lives in the country (10 minutes outside of the suburb i live in) and that the roads get too bad out there during the winter Fast forward to today >Wake up >Maybe 4 inches of snow on the road >Let my car heat up and head out about 10 minutes earlier than normal >Take turns slowly, keep my distance, and just drive carefully because I'm not super used to driving in the snow >Make it to work in one piece >work for about an hour >Phone starts ringing >It's Mrs pick-up truck >"Hey anon, I can't come into work today the roads are awful where I live" Do truck-tards really?

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One man’s treasure is another man’s treasure | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous E 03/21/16(Mon)11:10:07 No.27303759 Why don't they make bulletproof vests out of diamond if it is the hardest metal? 5 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/21/16(Mon)11:11:28 No.27303774 Cause it's too heavy. 1 gram of diamond weighs something like 15 grams. >>27303789 # >>27303795 # >27303892 # >>27303924 # >>27304023 # >>27304509 #

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Anon asserts his right to use self-defense. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.619019470 21 minutes ago >16 years old >walking to the bus stop to go to school >group of girls walking behind me >hear one say "you dare me?" >the other one say "I double dare you" >This bitch blindsides me and swings her fist into my temple from behind >Thatfuckishappening.jpg >l fall face first into concrete >the other two laugh as my nose bleed >get up >she got all up in my face, shoved me and yelled, "Whatchu gonna do about it, f-----? Hit a girl?" >Dont tempt me bitch >slammed my palm into her face and knocked her the f--- out >mfw they call me a monster >mfw they sream women beater What do you guys think of girls using their gender to protect themselves 5 replies

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