Anon has a sexual awakening | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:50:51 No.868944635 >be me, 18 male, tall, big >be not me, 7/10 qt fwb i have been on and off with for about 4 months >she has always joked about me killing her and her liking it if i did >get done with movie date and driving 12 KB JPG her home >ask if she were to be killed by someone how would she want to die > her "have the best day of my life with the murderer then have him stab me" >me "what about strangling?" >her "yeah that would work to" >i pull over the car and ask her if she had a good time with me >her "anon stop you're not funny" >i unbuckle my seat belt and turn towards her with a straight face > she starts crying hysterically >her "please dont kill me i dont want to die" >mfw her begging to not be killed gave me the hardest boner of my life Is this normal?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)11:08:28 No.869012367 >Join a discord >Start talking >Chat goes dead 63 KB JPG

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: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:29:14 No.869000123 >b me 15 mins ago >currently like 40°c in australia >wearing only my boxer shorts >blanket over my shorts with legs and upper body hanging out so I'm basically naked 15 KB PNG >knock on the door. "Come in" I say, thinking it was a family member >11/10 opens the door >quite audibly say who the f--- are you >she's the real estate agent coming to "check the windows" >she grins and closes the door This was not a good grin bros. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore. She's definitely going to tell her Stacy and chad friends about this at a Christmas party

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Hauling freight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:39:01 No.66646800 >you just moved into a new apartment >your next door neighbor is the girl you had a crush on in high school >back then, she was skinny and considered one of the prettiest girls in 969 KB PNG school >pic related is what she looks like now What would you do in this situation? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:41:06 No.66646821 >>66647759 # >>66647940 # : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:44:09 No.66647668 >>66646800 (OP) # >fireman carry her to the chinese buffet >firemen carry back to my 250 sq ft apartment and f--- her on my futon easy >>66647755 # >>66647953 #

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Anons are based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:11:16 No.868991392 She felt sleep. What should I do? 1.08 MB JPG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:13:57 No.868991532 >>868991392 (OP) # Hang yourself >Imagine the keks when she wakes up : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:19 No.868991548 >>868991441 # close up ass shot : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:16:03 No.868991631 blanket. Leave the room. Go to your own room and wait for your dad to m----- you when you fall asleep

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Reddit ruins anons fun :( | /r/Greentext

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Licence to REEEEEEEE | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG

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Anon makes a sacrifice so we can laugh | /r/Greentext

>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things

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99% of NFTs look absolutely awful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)14:25:05 No.66643416 >be me >work IT for company that does s--- for a few fortune 500 companies >at office xmas party, owner's son bothering the s--- out of me >stupid s--- is annoying as f---, makes 50k more a year than anyone else, and everyone has to kiss up to him because Every day. We stray further from god. 117 KB PNG daddy's money >everyone got bonuses this year upwards of 20k, he's bragging that he got a 40k bonus because "I'm that good at my job" >make small talk because I have to, ask him what he did with his bonus >"You ever hear of NFTS anon? Bored monkeys" >youfuckingdidn't.mp3 >l bought this guy for my bonus plus a few grand I've had saved" >shows me the s-------- looking, ugly ass monkey with yellowed teeth and pot eyes >"I mean, you can't top what I got, but what did you get with your bonus? My little champion here will last for ever, I doubt whatever you got would." >show him a bid I placed on a mp7 >"wha-what's that for?" >Tell the windowlicker how I was into collecting obscure firearms and it caught my eye, tell him that no one can right click my gun >sissy storms off all pouty >called in the office next day by big boss >"Anon, I have gotten reports that you were threatening to shoot up the office, you are fired, if you come here again, the police will be called." >mfw this prissy daddy boy's d------ got me fired because I told him his art scam is s--- and my gun money has to go towards keeping me afloat until I can get a new job >mfw I can't use this job as a reference despite being here for 8 years How have your holidays been going so far?

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Anon consumes oregano | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is a middle school teacher | /r/Greentext

Post your favourite pokegirl and your job Post your favourite pokegirl a(...) 12/20/21(Mon)12:51:18 No.4° I'll start: >Lillie >middle school teacher 63 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)12:52:15 No.49 >>49060224 (OP) # 809 KB PNG

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