Anon can’t be naked in his own room anymore | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:29:14 No.869000123 >b me 15 mins ago >currently like 40°c in australia >wearing only my boxer shorts >blanket over my shorts with legs and upper body hanging out so I'm basically naked 15 KB PNG >knock on the door. "Come in" I say, thinking it was a family member >11/10 opens the door >quite audibly say who the f--- are you >she's the real estate agent coming to "check the windows" >she grins and closes the door This was not a good grin bros. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore. She's definitely going to tell her Stacy and chad friends about this at a Christmas party

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Hauling freight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:39:01 No.66646800 >you just moved into a new apartment >your next door neighbor is the girl you had a crush on in high school >back then, she was skinny and considered one of the prettiest girls in 969 KB PNG school >pic related is what she looks like now What would you do in this situation? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:41:06 No.66646821 >>66647759 # >>66647940 # : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:44:09 No.66647668 >>66646800 (OP) # >fireman carry her to the chinese buffet >firemen carry back to my 250 sq ft apartment and f--- her on my futon easy >>66647755 # >>66647953 #

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Anons are based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:11:16 No.868991392 She felt sleep. What should I do? 1.08 MB JPG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:13:57 No.868991532 >>868991392 (OP) # Hang yourself >Imagine the keks when she wakes up : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:19 No.868991548 >>868991441 # close up ass shot : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:16:03 No.868991631 blanket. Leave the room. Go to your own room and wait for your dad to m----- you when you fall asleep

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Anon can't be threatened | /r/Greentext

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Reddit ruins anons fun :( | /r/Greentext

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Licence to REEEEEEEE | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG

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Anon makes a sacrifice so we can laugh | /r/Greentext

>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things

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The apple dosent fall far from the tree | /r/Greentext

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99% of NFTs look absolutely awful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)14:25:05 No.66643416 >be me >work IT for company that does s--- for a few fortune 500 companies >at office xmas party, owner's son bothering the s--- out of me >stupid s--- is annoying as f---, makes 50k more a year than anyone else, and everyone has to kiss up to him because Every day. We stray further from god. 117 KB PNG daddy's money >everyone got bonuses this year upwards of 20k, he's bragging that he got a 40k bonus because "I'm that good at my job" >make small talk because I have to, ask him what he did with his bonus >"You ever hear of NFTS anon? Bored monkeys" >youfuckingdidn't.mp3 >l bought this guy for my bonus plus a few grand I've had saved" >shows me the s-------- looking, ugly ass monkey with yellowed teeth and pot eyes >"I mean, you can't top what I got, but what did you get with your bonus? My little champion here will last for ever, I doubt whatever you got would." >show him a bid I placed on a mp7 >"wha-what's that for?" >Tell the windowlicker how I was into collecting obscure firearms and it caught my eye, tell him that no one can right click my gun >sissy storms off all pouty >called in the office next day by big boss >"Anon, I have gotten reports that you were threatening to shoot up the office, you are fired, if you come here again, the police will be called." >mfw this prissy daddy boy's d------ got me fired because I told him his art scam is s--- and my gun money has to go towards keeping me afloat until I can get a new job >mfw I can't use this job as a reference despite being here for 8 years How have your holidays been going so far?

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Anon consumes oregano | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is a middle school teacher | /r/Greentext

Post your favourite pokegirl and your job Post your favourite pokegirl a(...) 12/20/21(Mon)12:51:18 No.4° I'll start: >Lillie >middle school teacher 63 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)12:52:15 No.49 >>49060224 (OP) # 809 KB PNG

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Anon has a routine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? 1 12 Here's mine. 5:00 AM - Rise 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep

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Anon is the least racist polish person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" 7 KB JPG > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities" Pic Related

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