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Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No.760310831 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >>760311467 >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >tfw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Anon gets bored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/21(Sat)05:25:03 No.866627719 >Be Me >Best friend moves away >Get bored and tell the rest of the school he's dead >2 years later best friend comes back >I forgot about prank >Best friend is now Jesus, he's no longer 37 KB JPG dead >Everyone celebrates

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Blood for the Blood God | /r/Greentext

File: thumbnail_image1 (2).jpg (390 KB, 1280x1280) O Blood the Blood God Blodmosin 05/07/19(Tue)00:07:57 No.41396154 >>41396172 >>41396177 >>41396217 >>41396266 >>41396319 >>41396334 >>41396337 >>41396398 >>41396418 >>41397573 >>41397666 >>41398098 >>41398126 >>41398210 >>41401609 >>41401619 >>41401706 >>41401925 >>41401940 >>41401954 >>41402527 >>41402691 >>41402741 >>41403468 >>41403591 >>41403820 >>41404954 >>41406184 >>41407010 >>41408609 >>41408970 >>41410233 >>41410434 >>41410588 >>41415363 >>41415977 >>41416239 >>41416528 >be me >too poor to buy gun >religiously donates Plasma for extra income >end up with Mosin Nagant >only cost me 11L of bodily fluids >You poorfags don't understand true sacrifice >pic related

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Anon better now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/21(Sat)10:51:55 No.66140150 >post vocaroo >some f----- tells me I have a nasally voice >look up diaphragm exercises >start breathing with my diaphragm instead of my upper chest >doesnt really change my voice all that much but breathing in actually feels 9 KB JPG good now Thanks f-----, you made my life just a tiny bit better 6 Replies View Thread

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Play me at night they won’t act right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)12:58:58 No.66131416 >be me >nigbot >hate wh*Te "people" >get motivated by my hatred for wh*Te "people" to work hard and be the best version of myself >grinding (library, school, gym, Reasen Spite 48 KB JPG whatever...) >the edomites in real life are nice and friendly (tricksters) >my hatred towards them start going down >immediatly go back to 4chan >interact with wh*Toids without their mask and they immediatly show their true nature, saying the most vile, evil things I've ever seen and overall acting like demons >motivation through the roof >do that every couple of months to remind myself why I'm fighting >redpilled my little brother about the cracker menace and he stopped talking to his friends and now goes to the gym with me We're all gonna make it bros, don't forget what we're fighting for.

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Anon is a manlet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Life F----- Me 02/20/19(Wed)12:07:50 No.51079754 DIES Sta Greentext time boys Dorn >be me, 19 >amateur MMA fighter witha record of 12-1 >l'm very athletic and I'm a featherweight so i'm lean too | should be able to get a girl easily 431 KB PNG right? >be 5'6 >every girl i know is taller than me >no one likes short guys kill me now please 11 Replies View Thread

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Anon asks a provocative question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Hooters spice is too much | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/21(Wed)00:29:07 No.16728763 >Go to Hooters >Ask for the wings with the Macho sauce (it's the hottest one, don't know how it's called in the US) >Eat one wing, too spicy, literally can't continue eating them >Jokingly ask the Hooters girl if she 19 KB JPG can change mi plate for regular wings >"uhmm... let me see" >They actually change my plate >I can hear the Hooters girls giggling and gossiping "ayooo they actually changed his plate" >Finish my plate quickly so I can pay and leave ASAP >l can never go back

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Anon dates a gymnast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)00:52:20 No.786847145 >be me >dating gymnast >she's been practicing for a competition >she's gotten even more flexible >"anon, I wanna try a new position I couldn't before" >hellyeah.jpg 17 KB JPG >she gets in super strange stretching position >we start going at it >it's not that great but I still finish >"how was it anon" >weird flex, but ok View Thread

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Top 10 anime battles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/04/18(Sat)22:16:31 No.2225435 - apucrytoilet.jpg (144 KB, 1456x896) google yandex tineye igdb wait saucenao @2225428 >weeb poster Anonymous 08/04/18(Sat)22:18:14 No.2225439 - 1509501865800.jpg (44 KB, 551x549) google yandex tineye iqdb wait saucenao @2225435 >frog poster IT SAYS YOU RE GAY Anonymous 08/04/18(Sat)22:20:47 No.2225442 - apufatstranglesponge.jpg 2 (119 KB, 1320x908) google yandex tineye iqdb wait saucenao #2225439 >weeb Anonymous 08/04/18(Sat)22:22:23 No.2225445 - 765165.jpg (163 KB, 1280x720) google yandex tineye igdb wait saucenao No.2225442 >frog

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Anon exhibits male predator behavior | /r/Greentext

File: screenshot.png (107 KB, 262x442) O beta tries to talk to a girl Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)03:19:29 No.25280100 [Reply] ► >>25280149 >>25280249 >>25280409 I want to get this off my chest. >be me, high school >one day I spot a really cute girl around her friends in the campus >days goes by and every time I see her my heart beats stronger >never had good experiences with women before >i freeze and blank every time i try to talk to a female >too much anxiety to go and talk to her like a normal person would >thinking.jpg >decide to create a petition in the school for some political s--- >get the student council interested >we mobilize over 100 people to sign the petition with their name and phone number, including her >realizes that messaging her would be weird as f--- but do it anyway >surprisingly she replies >she has no idea who i am or how i look like

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Anything that can be soy, will be soy. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)06:17:44 No.5309006 >>5309972 File: 1631729740223.png (2.08 MB, 2500x3135) Blomberg 232 1-8g A++ >WHIRRRRR >click >BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP

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Anon asks the waiter for cheese | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - Anon is precog? | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No.760310831 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >>760311467 >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >tfw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad

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