Anon has been fooled | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.851404566 >be me >straight but have an interest in trap p--- >download grindr >meet twink who could easily pass off as a chick 38 KB JPG >we meet up and go back to my place >he pulls down his pants just enough for me to see his a------ >idc s---- cash >tightest a------ ever >coom after a few mins >twink turns around and takes off clothes >entire r--- dwarf colony stacked atop eachother >try running but they bite my ankles >try fighting back but there's too many >tied down and ~50 enter my virgin boipuss >cry as they all cook inside >the one who acted as the face started face f------ me >he cooms >they all laugh as they begin to stack themselves again and leave my home Every god damn time

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon becomes a wagie | /r/Greentext

12m (12/19 21:51) · 66630008 2 Re · 1 Img · GIF · 705KB · (510 × 510) 1 Reply NOT MY PROBLEM >tfw working a super easy office job making $22/hr, so little work to do that I spend almost the entire day just watching videos and browsing the internet >can buy anything I want because I get ~$750 per week, meanwhile NEETcucks have to leech off their parents and be cautious about spending on anything becoming a wagie was the best thing to happen to me

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Anon has a warning for all of us virgins | /r/Greentext

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Anon has friends over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)16:22:09 No.776717402 >be me yesterday >parents on vacation, home alone >have 2 mates and 2 9/10 girls over one night >my chad friend immediately claims one for himself 85 KB JPG >other mate not really trying, I see my chance >green eyed short blonde, f------ angel >same odd music taste and generally likes all the not-your-every-day things I like >try everything subtle in my rule book, nothing works >she somehow always ends up with other mate >mildlydepressed.wav >had a few beers as well >she goes to bathroom, ask mate if he intends on doing anything >"i noticed you eyeing her so i didn't do anything, but she told me came over because of me and she has been crushing on me for a while" >heart sinks >"okay bro, shes all yours" >"you sure anon?" >"yes mate, why would you waste your chance cause of me, don't, all is good, go get 'er" >choke back any display of emotion >nods back to me in appretiation >chad and girl 1 go to my room >mate and girl 2 go to other bed room >go to sleep alone I died a little on the inside but bros come first. Did I do right? 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon finds the loop hole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ST2CWOMV )[1 08/10/18(Fri)10:38:46 No.181812728 >be me at 12 years old inschool >in math >had to have our parents sign a test in which i didn't do good, so i didn't show it to them and they didn't sign 85 KB PNG >teacher asks to see our test >f---.jpeg >raise my hand, ask to go to the bathroom because i feel like throwing up >masturbate until bell rings

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Anon not crying! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)10:06:59 No.60734934 >talking to girl about something personal >start to get emotional, start crying >straight up autistically say crying in front of women is gay and it is making me look weak, so I 166 KB JPG stopped >"but I care about you, showing emotions is what you should do, it's not gay. I'm here for you, it's okay." what the f--- did she mean by this? is she making fun of me? I just ignored her. what a f------ w----. 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plays Portal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Portal. 11/18/21(Thu)21:05:46 No.578575809 >install portal >launch game and mess around >portal opens revealing you play as a woman >immediately uninstall game and leave negative review 104 KB JPG

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Anon’s milkshake did not go the full nine yards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/20(Fri)17:24:19 No.820711963 >be me >engaged >kinda fat but thats fine >get wife a milkshake >man at dairy queen asks if its for me 9 KB JPG >"no, its for my fiance? why." >calls me a fatass. >gives it to my fiance >goes off at me bc shes vegan now and i forgot >calls off wedding bc "i cant do this one task right, so how cani do an entire wedding" >mfw my wife leaves me for a milkshake 21 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/14/20(Fri)17:56:24 No.820713940 >>820713859 # bet

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Up the water spout | /r/Greentext

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Anon blames it on the cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:01:25 No.738235551 >be me >be seven >piss all over my sisters bed >blame it on the cat >mom kills cat with brick outside >mfw 6 KB JPG >>738236821 # >>738237004 # >>738239172 # >>738239202 # : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:24:22 No.738236821 >>738235551 # >mom kills cat with brick outside What was it like growing up as white trash? : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:27:29 No.738237004 >>738235551 # >killing a cat for piss bed your mon is a pshycho, dude : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)07:04:05 No.738239172 >>738235551 # Jesus christ you mom needs medical assistance Imao.

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Anon works on his project | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Minion cumjar project 01/20/20(Mon)23:33:56 No.56360161 Anons im at day 6 of the minion cumjar project. The c-- finally reaches the wider part, the filling will only accelerate now 280 KB JPG : anon 01/20/20(Mon)23:52:24 No.56360482 O results Searched over 36.2 billion images Using TinEye is private. We do not non-commercial purposes. For bu Screenshot (13).png 43 KB PNG if there is a god above he weeps

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Anon experiences infantile amnesia | /r/Greentext

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My first greentext post how'd I do | /r/Greentext

: Anon One day in auto class 02/10/19(Sun)11:57:55 No.20379756 >be me >in grade12 highschool auto class >teacher is actually real close with all students >constantly swears and tells jokes, calls black people 'Nagras' and explicitly tells us how much he 74 KB PNG hated his neighbors >one day he's telling the class a story about spending the night at someone else place >completely zone the f--- out of this boring story >"ah man it's great! You get to eat *their* food. Sleep in *their* bed. Use *their* Netflix account..." >snapbacktoreality.jpeg >chime in for funny joke >"f--- *their* wives" >whole class cracks up >teacher looks in awe at me as if I didn't say what he thinks I just said >in my head I'm thinking about why he didn't laugh, he'd love that joke >teacher continues to tell story about spending the weekend at his sons house >mfw

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