Kitchen Wizard | Tumblr | Know Your Meme

weeniebagel shutterstcck OMATINGAY SH "Damn your fool's mind, Randy, the mists of dream still you know my Amulet of Saros allows www.shutterstock.com 390088588 me passage through all portals, physical and arcane. I came here as this apartment provides protection from the mental ravaging of that invokingbees "Really, Carl? Really? Christ, I knew the breakup Walk into your kitchen at 3am and this wizard is waiting for you, having drunk your beer and sampled, but disliked, your potato chips, hasn't done the dishes, and he isn't happy dark sorceress, Cindy, gods blast her name! with Cindy was bad-but not THIS bad! How'd Your fermented beverages are all that have you even get in my house? Why are the Utz all over the floor? Wh- how did you get in my kept me from darkness this night, Randy, would you turn me away in this hour of terror?" house!?" What do you do? Source: invokingbees POTATO O

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homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

kaijuno Follow Are you tired? Come scream with us, at the bog meetings every half moon at 3 a.m. Blaze 9,247 notes D

thx Follow call out post HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE???????? achivement-unlocked Achievement unlocked! Hello world! Is anyone there..? #I intend for you to read this in the portal turret voice. ok goodbye #normal gameplay 104,032 notes D

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I think we all know a character who fits this description

dummyracoon Follow we all know who is it EVIL CHARACTER EVIL CHARACTER WHO IS ALSO A RESPONSIBLE PARENT

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Magic as Genres

sexhaver what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like "oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post- necromancy, it's some pretty heavy stuff" chorusofravenousangels "what do you mean you've never learned FIREBALL, it's a CLASSIC" "idk I'm not really into evocations." "how can you not be into ANY evocations?" "well, it's kind of dad magic, isn't it?"

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Rasputin theories

s applepon glumshoe I really think Rasputin lucked out, in that being remembered by history as some species of giant unkillable sex wizard is something most of us can only fruitlessly aspire to. thisisatesttai He didn't luck out, he worked hard for that rep glumshoe he really didn't though he was just kind of a garden-variety creep, but the rumor mill did all the work for him and now he's a banger disco song glumshoe Oh l'm sorry can YOU heal Alexi Nicholaevich's haemophilia? Didn't think so. gaul-the-unmitigated to be fair, neither could Rasputin. Alexei very much continued to have haemophilia. isn't the current theory that he seemed to heal faster and have more spoons when Rasputin was around because Rasputin wouldn't let the doctors give him aspirin, a blood thinner? plague-chan-vs-the-world Ra Ra Rasputin Russia's wellness scamming fiend glumshoe RASPUTIN HEALS E prokopetz Fun fact: the conspirator who'd been made responsible for preparing the poison for Rasputin, Stanislaus de Lazovert, was a medical intern who'd studied under the exact same doctor who kept trying to treat Tsarevich Alexei's hemophilia with aspirin. Like, I feel like this should be taken into account when evaluating reports of Rasputin's miraculous immunity to poison. balderich-the-dead Did the guy who shot him also study under that doctor? E prokopetz No, Felix Yusupov was just a useless nerd who thought he knew how murder worked because he'd read a book. Based on the available historical evidence, the most likely sequence of events is as follows: • The conspirators attempt to kill Rasputin with poison-laced cakes, but fail; it's unknown whether this is because de Lazovert f----- up the poison, because Rasputin – who had a well-known dislike of sweets – didn't go in on the cakes as heavily as they expected, or just because a poisoned cake is a really stupid idea. • Seeing that the poison has failed, Yusupov gets Rasputin alone for a moment and shoots him once in the chest, causing him to fall senseless to the floor. Because he's a useless nerd who thinks he knows how murder works because he read a book, Yusupov is unaware that a single handgun shot is very unlikely to be immediately fatal, and neglects to finish Rasputin off, instead leaving the room to confer with his fellow conspirators. • When the conspirators return to retrieve Rasputin's body, he recovers from the shock of the initial gunshot and attacks them. Following some general panic, a third conspirator, Vladimir Purishkevich, opens up guns blazing; Purishkevich manages to miss several times in spite of being at point-blank range, but eventually strikes Rasputin in the head, killing him instantly. • The conspirators beat the s--- out of Rasputin's body just to be sure, then proceed to make a complete clownshow out of disposing of the corpse; the remainder of Rasputin's injuries are sustained postmortem. Pretty much everything else about Rasputin's miraculous invincibility is invented whole cloth, much of it by Yusupov himself in order to build himself up in his own published memoirs. (As icing on the incompetently poisoned cake, elements of Yusupov's memoirs were later incorporated into the 1932 film Rasputin and the Empress, which led to Yusupov suing MGM Studios for libel because the film strongly implies that Rasputin was f------ Yusupov's wife. The precedent set by that lawsuit is the reason those "similarities to any real person living or dead are coincidental" disclaimers exist.) naamahdarling That last fact took me off at the knees. Source: glumshoe 83,382 notes Jul 2nd, 2021

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Is there a specific name for that bottom pic?

McDonald's who Wants to do this ? what makes this even funnier to me is that it's a Skyline GT-R, a car that was only made for the Japanese market, meaning it's right hand drive. which means that if you wanted to go through a drive thru that's made for left hand drive cars, you would have to go in reverse in order to be on the side with the drive thru window

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A collection of guns

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Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link (1987)

live1967 Follow i hope i don't have to fight my evil shadow self today die1967 Follow hey live1967 Follow no f------ way 37,069 notes

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Taking over the world doesn't mean you have to treat your loved ones like shit

lady-of-the-spirit Villains who are in romantic relationships but abuse their partners are so goddamn boring. I want villains who are absolute bastards, absolutely villains, but who are loving and caring and attentive partners anyway. Taking over the world doesn't mean you have to treat your loved ones like s---. 1disorientedanddisabled1 *villian talking to tied up hero* "AND IN THE PROCESS, I WILL DESTROY ALL LAW AND ORDER ON OUR PLANET, AND DEVOLVE THE HUMAN RACE INTO CHAOS, KILLING MILLIONS, HAHAHAH-" "Honey, it's time for dinner" "Um babe? Il'm kind of in the middle of something" "Oh I'm sorry dear. I didn't know" "It's alright" "I'Il heat it up when your ready. I made chicken parm, your favorite" "You're a doll, Cindy. I don't know how I'm lucky enough to have you" 14,874 notes ...

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working in tech service tumblr story

lesbardian my friend works for a tech service and is one of those guys you call to help you with tech issues and he walks you through them and even can like take over your computer to help and ect. anyways i will never stop thinking about how he told me everyone in his company fears west virginia like when they get a call and see its a west virgnia area code they hate answering bc thats where they get the wildest calls from. One time thousands of people were out of internet and they were all calling in to complain and he had to tell multiple people "im sorry theres some guy with a shot gun driving around and shooting out the internet boxes there is literally nothing we can do. the police are trying to catch him." and like. people wouldnt take this as an answer theyd be like well can you fix it and hes like. theres. theres a guy with a shotgun. thats a little out of our area of expertise.

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um no offense but my body's made of crushed little stars. and i'm not afraid of anything :/

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Internet parrotcy

Parrots can repeat nearly any phrase they're taught, but can't repeat most recent songs due to copyright issues. facts-i-just-made-up.tumblr.com avese23 Follow That's why they need pirates dragguns Follow symbiosis

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Legit Fairy Tale Level Shit

siniristiriita Story idea: The most wanted woman in town has announced that she'll only marry the one who can open her front door with the key around her cat's neck. Many men try to hunt the cat down, chase and trap it, but to no avail, the cat is simply too quick, smart and clever, and always finds a way to evade and avoid them. You are the first one to figure out the obvious: Do not chase the cat. The cat is befriendable. Get the cat to trust you, to genuinely enjoy your company, and you can hang out with the cat. You may eventually be allowed to touch the cat. The cat will freely let you take the key. Secondary plot twist: The woman is a shapeshifter. She is the cat. browntiger15 That's some legit fairy tale level s--- right there.

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"there's something wrong with our death ray, I'm standing right on front of it and I'm not dead yet"

smokehandsmcmike: The dudes from mythbusters are the ultimate unstoppable force vs immovable object,, every time they interact its just

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Know Your Meme

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