anon has a sucessful cousin | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon plays music for family | /r/Greentext

>Had to go to family gathering for an early thanksgiving >Hey anon why dont you play some music! 89 KB JPG >Thought about this beforehand so I downloaded a holiday album >Play Jingle Bells and set my phone down to go to the restroom >Taking a huge dump when suddenly I hear the Tem shop background music >Sudden dread hits me >l forgot to delete the "Tem sucks dik for colleg" track %3D >Began playing where I last came to it >Sitting in the restroom panicking what to do while I hear my family scrambling for my phone to shut it off through the slurping and chiptunes >Nobody would look me in the eyes when I grabbed my phone and left >lts been a week since theyve talked to me

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anon blames his eye colour for not being attractive rather than his 600 pounds of fat on him | /r/Greentext

File: db4.jpg (23 KB, 600x439) O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)17:58:59 No.66312343 [Reply >one shot at life >brown eyes + 13 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:27:17 No.66313983 >>66312934 >>66312343(OP) This. No one cares. Ignore the retard

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Anon tries nofap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)8:40:57 No.66318490 >Be me, fap too much >Decide to stop and make an oath to myself that no matter what, my next nut will be inside a woman >This goal actually makes me feel good enough and motivated enough, geniuely belive this is what 156 KB JPG l'll do for real >Mfw 52 days and still nothing Where is the increased woman attention bros? Where is the increased attractiveness and energy? You didn't lie to me, did you?

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Anon lives in the big city | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Board /b/- Random v Settings Home Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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Anon is a good guy. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: hBFWLn+K) 07/08/14(Tue)13:34:57 No.555440513 File: 1125152.large.jpg (20 KB, 443x267) >>555440756 >>555440864 I am constantly doing random acts of kindness for strangers and random ppl in my life. I've been at it for 6 years now. This is my craziest encounter so far: >meet 19 yo chick at my work > she is slightly chubby and just totally socially awkward > we talk for a whilel >I am overly nice as usual even though I have no attraction to her > she talks about how guys are stupid >" I'm not stupid " I reply > yeah but you're not into me > she was right. She was a solid 4/10 >I cinge a little as I say "I think you're beautiful " > she turns bright red and is speechless >l ask for # and text her the next day >I gather from her texts that she is a beta kissless virgin > I take her out to eat at one of the more expensive restaurants in town > get her back to her house and she says thanks real awkwardly and starts to exit my car >I grab her arm and pull her in for a kiss while groping at her fat t------ >"can I come inside " > no anon muh grandma is waiting up for me > cool can I meet her > she finally gives in > granny loves me > she tells me funny stories while her land whale granddaughter sits there in embarrassment > we eventually make it up to her room > she was extremely nervous but I get her totally naked and just f--- the f------ s--- out of her in every part of her bedroom > she stops me and says shouldn't we take a break, I think I can hear my granddaughter crying downstairs. It was a good. It felt great knowing I did some good in this world

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Anon meets a sped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)16:38:30 No.867208905 >be me >In highschool class >Sit next to open door >About this time every day, special forces (part of the sped brigade) passes by >Doing work with head down >See shadow out of the corner of my eye >Look up.exe unny.co 37 KB JPG >Sped with harness looming over me ready to pounce >Fear.mp3 >Wrangler walks in "sorry about that" >People laughing >MFW Anyone have sped encounters?

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Anon taxt redtext | /r/Greentext

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Anon learns history | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:36:34 No.867442497 nineteenth century european revolutionaries be like >Don't give women rights >Make their national symbol a woman mfw european revolutionaries were retarded

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Anon Meets Mia Khalifa | /r/Greentext

File: mkultra.jpg (126 KB, 1024x1024) U Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)19:46:06 No.867467771 >>867469002 >>867469072 The time I met a pornstar IRL. >l was going to Chipotle when I saw Mia Khalifa putting in an order. >Had to look twice to be sure and it was definitely her. >I was a few people behind her in line, and kind of anxious to at least say hi. >That w---- ordered so much food. A burrito and tacos. >On top of that I think a salad as if that made a difference. >Ready to put in my order now - just waiting for the person in front of me. >Make it quick so I can try to "accidentally" bump into Mia. >I do, then just say something stupid like "oh hi, you look familiar", like an idiot. >She just awkwardly looks at me and walks away. >Stupid bitch. >I go sit down to eat and think of another way, noticing she's also sitting and eating. >Got it - I'll just be direct and go tell her I jerked it to her p---. Already got reject anyway. >Unfettered, I creepily watch to try and keep eating at the same pace. >Eagerly watching her slide a hot burrito in her mouth, I get a slight stiffy. >So f------ hot, but I try to contain myself. >She has now moved on to her tacos. >That's it, she's getting closer to finishing her food. >How will I get her to like me? I'm still thinking. >Easy, just stick to the plan! Be direct. I tell myself. >You can do this. >Never forget the plan. >Even if you aren't feeling confident, don't let it show. >Very nervous now, and she's almost done with her salad. >Every second closer to me going full retard. >Ready for this, I get up slowly to throw my trash away. >Mia is doing the same and getting ready to walk out. >l'm getting close to doing the same. >She's finally walking out and I start to follow. >She holds the door for me."ohshit.jpg" >Her hand touches mine by accident. >Urethra is throbbing. >Hi, Mia, I've seen some of your work and it's great. You got a boyfriend? Sorry if I'm creeping you out. She says "Yeah I do have one and you kinda are" - then I tell her "whatever, I bet he doesn't even kiss you" and autistically walk way.

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Reddit anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:23:13 No.66310344 >be me, redditard >bored one day so go on 4chan >it's just a bunch of creeps, retards, pedos and depressed coomers 190 KB JPG

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Anon doesn’t like Japan | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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