Anon is hung like a horse | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Ifit/ pickup lines I'll start >be 5'4 >set height as 6'4 >umm anon why are you so short >the other foot is in my pants if you know what I mean haha 161 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)17:47:04 No.64421356 >>64421349 (OP) # 185 KB PNG >>64421526 # : Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)17:50:44 No.64421410 >>64421349 (OP) #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hates his family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/20(Sat)15:37:32 No.838054717 >be me at 15 >share pc with family >dad screams at me >beats me up because I “installed a virus on the pc" >the neighbors call the police because they saw me getting his s--- kicked out 20 KB JPG >look at pc >it's the windows 10 update

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feelsWeirdMan | /r/Greentext

>be me >wejrnwjelfn the accursed >immortal wendigo spirt >a being of pure hunger and hate >going hunting to stop the endless pain >some f------ dude shows up wanting "wendussy" or some s--- >f------ what >im 58% sure i was a guy before i turned >i tell him this in the voice of long dead souls screaming in bloody agony >he pulls out a god damn cheerleader outfit and calls me a femboydigo utso Aed uon

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Anon wants you to eat healthy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:18:22 No.62759020 Fancy Feast BOMPLET ALANCED CHICKEN FEAST CLASSIC PATÉ GOURMET CAT FOOD 76011 MAIN. AC_SL1500_V1551805038_jpg 204 KB JPG >250 calories >42 grams of protein Why the f--- aren't you eating this you stupid f---? $001

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Anon is a smuggler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)15:04:00 No.66256545 >be me, an expat in Japan >go to a supermarket >they sell lychee at $14.50 per kg >"w-- in my home it's $2 per kg" >eureka.jpg >start smuggling lychee into Japan by ships 36 KB JPG >make a lychee ring with some Japanese friends to help them earn quick buck >a countryman realizes what l'm doing, said that he would report me >report his expired visa, he gets deported

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Anon is selfaware | /r/Greentext

>be me >watching anime >realise that somewhere in the world some degenerate f-- is smashing their tiny d--- to this >look down 8 KB GIF >mfw when it's me

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ANON GOT TROLLED SO HARD BY HIS FIANCÉ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wedding cucked 08/29/21(Sun)15:39:26 No.24827347 >Be 16 >Get a gf - my first relationship >Now 30 >Still with gf, so suggest getting married >She says yes! >Recently made some dollar on crypto 139 KB JPG >Offer to pay fully for the wedding >"Aww, love you hun, since you're paying let me do all the organising work so you don't have to worry about it" >Cool, transfer all the money to her account so she can get organising >We talk about the organisation asking me if I like certain things, food tastings etc. Standard wedding things >Breaks up with me 1 week before the wedding >Doesn't cancel wedding plans and marries someone else What the f--- can I do? I just paid for someone else's wedding to marry my f------ ex after 14 years ffs, never thought l'd be f------ cucked this bad this hard.

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Mixed messages | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)04:52:50 No.66255100 >be me 19yo tomboy >wear tshirts hoodies jeans no makeup >dont style my hair >get called a boy >get called a child >get called homeless eternal torture and mise 53 KB JPG >get called frumpy what the heck. i just want to wear comfy clothes and not be sexualized >:( : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)05:02:14 No.66255137 >>66255100 (OP) # >what the heck. i just want to wear comfy clothes and not be sexualized >:( I don't think being called a boy, child or homeless sexualizes you in any way... >>66255147 # >>66255162 #

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In case you didn't know how to start your monday | /r/Greentext

File : 1299418496.jpg-(23 KB, 399x382, DAD-SON1.jpg) D0O Anonymous 03/06/11(Sun)08:34:56 No.314002202 >>had the best dad of the world >always used to play with me after work, really loved me and my bro >>one day, i came back from elementary school >>mom was all furious and angry and stuff >> i asked what happened and where dad is >>she told me he broke up with her, got another woman and a kid > didnt understand the world >> dad would never do such a thing >> went to my room, after 5 hours i realised dad would not come back >> was really sad, started crying and stuff >> one month passed, not a single sign from dad >> the next 3 months, sadness changed to anger > how could he just leave me without even saying goodbye > years passed, started to forgot about him > already had a familiy and own childs, loved them really much >> the more i loved my children, the more i could not understand how he could have done that to me >> one day, my aunt called me saying my dad was about to die of cancer > didn't give a flying f---, he forgot me >> later my wife told me i had to go to visit him >> arrived at hometown hospital >> everybody was there, even my mom for some reason >> everybody was crying, he just died. >> did not shed a single tear >> 3 days later, my mom gave me an f------ huge basket full of letters >>said that it was from my dad to me and she was sorry that she didn't gave them to me >> my heart crushed >> moments of silence, then went banana and hit mom in face and stuff >> later went to dads flat to take things and stuff >> there was no f------ other family >> it was a one-man-flat, one bed >> and in the middle of the living room >> in the middle of the living room >> there was a picture of my brother, my mom and me

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Anon quits bad habits | /r/Greentext

File: E1C02F87-3558-4393-8E9B-9(...).jpg (939 KB, 3000x3733) Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:18:56 No.867131931 [Reply] ► >>867132254 >>867132437 >be me >have p--- addiction and self-destructive mindset >decide I want to change >try quitting p---, and trick brain into thinking that the withdrawal is part of that mindset >not addicted anymore sometimes you just gotta fight fire with fire >> Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:25:06 No.867132254 >>867131931 (OP) I'm proud of you, anon Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:26:08 No.867132313 How long ago did you quit? >> Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:28:41 No.867132437 >>867131931 (OP) >It has been 6 hours since I gave up p---...

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Anon is an anti vaxxer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 867153179 T/pics > Be me > Anti Vaxxer > Support my cause by hanging signs around my property near a road (For the drivers to see of course) > Not hurting anyone just expressing my 1st amendment right. > One day Vaxxer soyboy with a knife comes onto my property (Only emo self harm f--- use knives) > Begins to cut my signs down because his communist overlords + Join u/JoJoPanda - 5h - iredd.it *e 186 Awards I found a new hobby: cutting down anti-vaxxer signs. DO taught him to hate the truth > Come out of my house and gun this commie f-- with my 5.56 rounds of freedom. 4 33.2k 3 O 4.2k T, Share E Award > That'll show them commie cucks. 14 REPLIES

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Why are mods like this? They did it again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ 53 KB JPG cares >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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Anon has a social interaction in a public bathroom | /r/Greentext

EAnonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until l got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies/2 Images View Thread ifunny.co

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