Anon wants you to eat healthy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:18:22 No.62759020 Fancy Feast BOMPLET ALANCED CHICKEN FEAST CLASSIC PATÉ GOURMET CAT FOOD 76011 MAIN. AC_SL1500_V1551805038_jpg 204 KB JPG >250 calories >42 grams of protein Why the f--- aren't you eating this you stupid f---? $001

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a smuggler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)15:04:00 No.66256545 >be me, an expat in Japan >go to a supermarket >they sell lychee at $14.50 per kg >"w-- in my home it's $2 per kg" >eureka.jpg >start smuggling lychee into Japan by ships 36 KB JPG >make a lychee ring with some Japanese friends to help them earn quick buck >a countryman realizes what l'm doing, said that he would report me >report his expired visa, he gets deported

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Anon is selfaware | /r/Greentext

>be me >watching anime >realise that somewhere in the world some degenerate f-- is smashing their tiny d--- to this >look down 8 KB GIF >mfw when it's me

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ANON GOT TROLLED SO HARD BY HIS FIANCÉ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wedding cucked 08/29/21(Sun)15:39:26 No.24827347 >Be 16 >Get a gf - my first relationship >Now 30 >Still with gf, so suggest getting married >She says yes! >Recently made some dollar on crypto 139 KB JPG >Offer to pay fully for the wedding >"Aww, love you hun, since you're paying let me do all the organising work so you don't have to worry about it" >Cool, transfer all the money to her account so she can get organising >We talk about the organisation asking me if I like certain things, food tastings etc. Standard wedding things >Breaks up with me 1 week before the wedding >Doesn't cancel wedding plans and marries someone else What the f--- can I do? I just paid for someone else's wedding to marry my f------ ex after 14 years ffs, never thought l'd be f------ cucked this bad this hard.

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Mixed messages | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)04:52:50 No.66255100 >be me 19yo tomboy >wear tshirts hoodies jeans no makeup >dont style my hair >get called a boy >get called a child >get called homeless eternal torture and mise 53 KB JPG >get called frumpy what the heck. i just want to wear comfy clothes and not be sexualized >:( : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)05:02:14 No.66255137 >>66255100 (OP) # >what the heck. i just want to wear comfy clothes and not be sexualized >:( I don't think being called a boy, child or homeless sexualizes you in any way... >>66255147 # >>66255162 #

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In case you didn't know how to start your monday | /r/Greentext

File : 1299418496.jpg-(23 KB, 399x382, DAD-SON1.jpg) D0O Anonymous 03/06/11(Sun)08:34:56 No.314002202 >>had the best dad of the world >always used to play with me after work, really loved me and my bro >>one day, i came back from elementary school >>mom was all furious and angry and stuff >> i asked what happened and where dad is >>she told me he broke up with her, got another woman and a kid > didnt understand the world >> dad would never do such a thing >> went to my room, after 5 hours i realised dad would not come back >> was really sad, started crying and stuff >> one month passed, not a single sign from dad >> the next 3 months, sadness changed to anger > how could he just leave me without even saying goodbye > years passed, started to forgot about him > already had a familiy and own childs, loved them really much >> the more i loved my children, the more i could not understand how he could have done that to me >> one day, my aunt called me saying my dad was about to die of cancer > didn't give a flying f---, he forgot me >> later my wife told me i had to go to visit him >> arrived at hometown hospital >> everybody was there, even my mom for some reason >> everybody was crying, he just died. >> did not shed a single tear >> 3 days later, my mom gave me an f------ huge basket full of letters >>said that it was from my dad to me and she was sorry that she didn't gave them to me >> my heart crushed >> moments of silence, then went banana and hit mom in face and stuff >> later went to dads flat to take things and stuff >> there was no f------ other family >> it was a one-man-flat, one bed >> and in the middle of the living room >> in the middle of the living room >> there was a picture of my brother, my mom and me

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Anon quits bad habits | /r/Greentext

File: E1C02F87-3558-4393-8E9B-9(...).jpg (939 KB, 3000x3733) Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:18:56 No.867131931 [Reply] ► >>867132254 >>867132437 >be me >have p--- addiction and self-destructive mindset >decide I want to change >try quitting p---, and trick brain into thinking that the withdrawal is part of that mindset >not addicted anymore sometimes you just gotta fight fire with fire >> Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:25:06 No.867132254 >>867131931 (OP) I'm proud of you, anon Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:26:08 No.867132313 How long ago did you quit? >> Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:28:41 No.867132437 >>867131931 (OP) >It has been 6 hours since I gave up p---...

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Anon is an anti vaxxer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 867153179 T/pics > Be me > Anti Vaxxer > Support my cause by hanging signs around my property near a road (For the drivers to see of course) > Not hurting anyone just expressing my 1st amendment right. > One day Vaxxer soyboy with a knife comes onto my property (Only emo self harm f--- use knives) > Begins to cut my signs down because his communist overlords + Join u/JoJoPanda - 5h - iredd.it *e 186 Awards I found a new hobby: cutting down anti-vaxxer signs. DO taught him to hate the truth > Come out of my house and gun this commie f-- with my 5.56 rounds of freedom. 4 33.2k 3 O 4.2k T, Share E Award > That'll show them commie cucks. 14 REPLIES

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Why are mods like this? They did it again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ 53 KB JPG cares >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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Anon has a social interaction in a public bathroom | /r/Greentext

EAnonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until l got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies/2 Images View Thread ifunny.co

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Illusion of Choice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 11/22/21(Mon)01:57:35 No.155397394 >>155397962 Finland had its most recent school shooting in 2008 and its most recent school beheading in 2019 O Anonymous E 11/22/21(Mon)02:27:35 No. 155397962 File: +_fa72c236e96586f5c44c779(..).jpg (39 KB, 600x474) >>155397394 >school beheading

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Anon gets comics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 765881528 2 hr. ago •ee >>765875061 (OP) i got my big brother molested when i was 9 not on purpose but >be me > nice fun summer day. > playing with friends near his uncles house > truck stops and guy gets all friendly with us >asks if we like superhero comics because he had some rare ones he was looking to give out >i wasnt a huge fan and said no but told him my older brother was a super nerd for them > he proceeds to ask me brothers age, what he looked like and where he was > literally give the guy the product description on my bro and that he was currently playing in the park by himself since his only friend was grounded and he was to cool to hang with the little kids > guy drives off and i go back to playing thinking was to give my brother a great surprise like that >come home later, >moms crying > brother is sobbing quietly and getting his statement taken by some lady in a pantsuit > father pulls me aside angry and asks where ive been > get grounded for not being psychic and running home the moment something went wrong (he calmed down and ungrounded me a day later) > wasnt told what happened. just that brother needed to go to special appointments now and i wasnt allowed to play outside ever without a special adult present >i figured it out about a year later when we had another safety talk at school and they mentioned about strangers trying to touch you inappropriately >sonic.thatsnogood.gif > never tell a living soul that i sent that chomo after my brother like a heat seeking missile >brother never the same, but he gave me all his comics so that was cool cool i

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Boss 1 Anon 0 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY

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