Anon tries Tinder | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 09/04/21(Sat)22:03:20 No.65257405 >on tinder >getting 0 replies from matches consistently >finally get reply from girl >continue conversation >rejects me on my second sentence because my answer wasn't 'cool 58 KB JPG enough' not hating women is getting really hard

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hates market manipulation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/21(Thu)00:46:59 No.66199875 >tfw you can't buy all the old games you want because all the stupid normalfags jacked the prices up why did these m------------ have to ruin my favorite hobby? Go have sex and get an std you stupid 40 KB JPG normies.

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Anon like Nietzsche | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LIRI7TAZ) 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon detests Canadians | /r/Greentext

>>230022822 # >bark bark whimper unintelligible dog abuse noises >wipes face >guess l'll go be a f------ smooth-brained nuisance to the Love 29 KB PNG rest of the world I hate Canadians so goddamned much. I hope your beagle c--- in your lungs and you have to walk uphill to get help. Your country needs an enema and a leader whose eyesight isn't ruined from staring at the top of gloryholes. I don't know why they bother putting "mounted" before "police." It's redundant. Everyone in Canada has been mounted. F-----

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anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

>coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors 362 KB PNG and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic

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Anon thinks he’s seen it all | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)22:46:24 No.774164138 Work stories thread? Work stories thread. >Be me. Aged/Disability care worker. >All sorts of old f------ in my care 6 KB JPG home, but I mostly deal with dementia patients. >God damned goofy bastard dementia patients >One little old bastard must've been a boy when the dinosaurs were still around >Literally old as dirt. >We learn from his family that he had a little black dog back in the 40's. >Dog's name was N-----. >F------ wish I was making this s--- up. >Old bastard still thinks he's living at home in the 40's with N-----. >Constantly walks around the facility asking all the staff if we've seen N-----. >Walks around yelling out N----- as loud as his old lungs can manage. >Find out this morning we've got a new staff member coming on board next week. >They're dark skinned (not sure actual heritage but still) Looking forward to how this plays out /b/ros. View Thread

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Anon experiences the reality of big tech jobs | /r/Greentext

9h (11/18 0:07) ·84349473 36 Re · 6 Img · PNG 111KB · (240 × 264) 16 Replies SPORTS >finally land software engineer job at fortune 500 company >boss calls me the week before I start to order my computer >asks me if I want a Windows PC or a Mac >those are the only two choices >he tells me most engineers on the team choose the Мас B-but /g/ told me everybody uses GNU/Linux in the development world!

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Anon likes eggs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)03:22:49 No.3972367 >You will feed me grain >You will clean my nest box >You will NOT let predators into my coop 999 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)03:25:44 No.3972370 of course I will thanks for the eggs

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Anon doesn't like reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/19(Fri)02:21:22 No.801601156 >be me >go on 4chan >write post >find image on computer >fill in captcha >aw, those image s---- >no problem, just an inconvenience 7 KB JPG >thread insues >happy >also me >go on reddit >go on subreddit >add an image >whoops, this subreddit doesn't use images, instead it uses Imgurr, the absolute f------ worst image sharing site of them all >whatever, go write something on some rant sub >"your post has been removed for (artificial reason here)" >Christ >Guess I'm gonna look up for 4chan to remininse the site i could be using right now >r/greentext >literally just a collection of 4chan posts >i see my own text and it has 10k karma >someone used my text for internet points >try to call him a f-- >dark theme is disabled >reopen it >"reddit is under for maintenance" Why do people use that s--- again?

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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the cloning process | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later

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Anon doesn't have much time left | /r/Greentext

* Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)00:06:28 No.578282198 → >*audio log starts* >"I-i don't have much time left" >*intense banging on a door and hungry moans can be heard* >"Please. If someone finds this. Please tell my wife and daughter that i love the-" >*door bursts open, sound of zombies pouring in* >"АAAAAAAAAАAAAAAAAAAAАAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGНННННННН-" *audio log cuts* B Anonymous 11/16/21(Tue)00:13:56 No.578282739 1635968336769.jpg (55 KB, 640x640) google yandex iqdb wait >"I don't have much time. Oh no. I hear them coming. THEY'RE HERE!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" >It's a written journal

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Anon has doubts about his relationship. | /r/Greentext

File: wojak2.png (6 KB, 214x236) O starting to get worried guys. Anonymous 11/17/21(Wed)01:03:45 No.66192654 ► >be me >hanging out with girlfriend after work >she is acting pretty flirtatious >wearing a short skirt I haven't seen her wear before >we start watching Squid Game >my donger is in her mouth three minutes later >feels good tho man >she looks at me and says "You want some bussy daddy?" >she bends over and presents the hole >d--- is rock hard when suddenly it clicks >"ah, honey, why did you call it bussy? I thought you were a girl?" >she looks worried but I can see her girldick is throbbing >"ah yeah daddy it's a girl bussy just for you" >have sex with her and blow a giant load right in her girl bussy >she's not a gay guy is she anons?

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