Anon is not gay | /r/Greentext
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![File: download.png (7 KB, 203x249) Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)09:41:25 No.859035373 [Reply] > be 11 years old me > taking a poop and it is really smelly > "umm but how much more smelly would it be if I age it" > waited until mommy was not home, took a s--- inside a big bottle. >i have heard milk is also smelly if you age it. > took some milk and poured it in > creativity started > putted in a pickle > added some honey > took a few rocks from the garden > added some salt and fish > after a few days it becomes really smelly and even though the bottle is closed you can smell it > my parents found the bottle > they beated my ass for doing so > 3 years later, I am still thinking about it every time I drink from a bottle Mfw I could have been a great milkshake chef if my parents were good](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/236/027/499.jpg "Anon’s milkshake bring all the girls to the yard | /r/Greentext")
![0/0/1/5 [Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ U Auto] File: R14kkDj.jpg (35 KB, 657x527) Anonymous 01/27/18(Sat)08:28:38 No.758119595 ► >Be me, dreaming >l am a dude, and I donate some sperm >You j------- into a cup in a large concrete hall with no doors, but walls kind of like a bathroom stall >After that dream is over, I have a dream about us being at war with Mexico, and then have another dream >Be me >A female, donating whatever they expel when they get off >l go into the female concrete hall, and begin to j------- >I look down and see that I actually have a penis when I didn't before >Realize I am a trap >One of the nurses notices and hangs close by, not saying anything to prevent unsettling anyone, I guess >I rub my skin with my d--- tucked, and make really bad fake moaning sounds, and body shudders >Look at a p--- magazine that's open on the ground while doing this >Another nurse walks over and crosses her arms. >l pretend to pass out and my d--- flops out, before the nurses shake their heads and carry away a container of discharge >A GUI pops up, saying I can press A to continue the game in a third world country >l press A and eventually end up being a girl being r---- by some anime- looking girl in Japan >I wake up >Confused](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/954/881.jpg "A normal night of sleep for /b/ | /r/Greentext")
![geg jng (7 KB. 240x180) google igdb RAnonymous 02/01/14(Sat)09 25 54 No 530239017 [] Hey /b just found my old phone from high school, saw something Ive long since forgotten about > Be me in 10th grade > Mobile phones becoming more common (Razors, Nokias and s---) > Downy tard named Greg (Geg) wants in on the action > Geg wears old phone the size of a brick in a leather pouch on his belt > Doesn't even keep it charged or have a sim card > TFW it pretends to answer important calis in front of everyone > Eventually cops enough s--- Gégs parents buy it a proper phone > My best mate decides it would be hilarious to give it my number > Suddenly I start receiving texts "hey it geg" > Freak the f--- out > Hope if I don't reply it will leave me alone > Instead I wake up to daily tard messages "hey it geg" > Getting messages at absurd hours "hey it geg tex back" - sent 3.43am > Receive messages everyday for close to 6 months > Inbox full of Geg "are you came to school monday? from geg" > Things calm down > Seems Geg may have lost interest > Late one night phone vibrates > See it's a picture message > OH F--- it's Geg > pic related "Hey it geg"](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/916/94f.jpg "Anon meets Geg | /r/Greentext")
![File: epic_lulz.jpg (68 KB, 600x582) O Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)22:22:51 No.65952049 [Reply]► >>65952089 >>65952101 >be me few hours ago >take uber to a friend's house >get some lady talking on the phone and acting bitchy >need to s---, but i can hold it in until i get there >i play on my phone and f--- around on Youtube >watch a meme video with that sloppy wet fart meme sound effect (you know which one) >she starts getting angry and says she's sick of dealing with people like me and that her family heard that or whatever >i told her it was an accident and i didn't mean to >she says she's sick of little s---- like me arguing with her and she's dropping me off on the sidewalk and telling me to get a different ride for arguing with her >she pulls up and tells me to get out >idea.jpg >unbuckle, hike down my pants and sit up >take a massive s--- all over her back seat >she notices and starts screaming every swear word in the book at me >pull pants back up and run out of the car >run all the way to friend's house laughing like a f------ hyena the whole way >still laughing right now all these hours later >probably banned from uber now, totally worth it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/862/3b2.png "Anon Rides an Uber | /r/Greentext")
