Tree sleeping | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Oct 30, 2021 at 01:27PM EDT
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![File: epic_lulz.jpg (68 KB, 600x582) O Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)22:22:51 No.65952049 [Reply]► >>65952089 >>65952101 >be me few hours ago >take uber to a friend's house >get some lady talking on the phone and acting bitchy >need to s---, but i can hold it in until i get there >i play on my phone and f--- around on Youtube >watch a meme video with that sloppy wet fart meme sound effect (you know which one) >she starts getting angry and says she's sick of dealing with people like me and that her family heard that or whatever >i told her it was an accident and i didn't mean to >she says she's sick of little s---- like me arguing with her and she's dropping me off on the sidewalk and telling me to get a different ride for arguing with her >she pulls up and tells me to get out >idea.jpg >unbuckle, hike down my pants and sit up >take a massive s--- all over her back seat >she notices and starts screaming every swear word in the book at me >pull pants back up and run out of the car >run all the way to friend's house laughing like a f------ hyena the whole way >still laughing right now all these hours later >probably banned from uber now, totally worth it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/862/3b2.png "Anon Rides an Uber | /r/Greentext")
![File: sad pepe.png (149 KB, 512x439) Im sick of my rentcuck, what do i do? Anonymous (ID: 1DgDqmX/ ) 10/29/21(Fri)17:46:11 No.42537948 [Reply] >>42538647 -Be me, landchad -Own 5 flats in a centric/expensive part of the city -I increase rent a 20% because i need more money to afford my patrician lifestyle (Obviously i notify all the tenants prior) -One of my tenants (Most autistic and /r9k person ive ever met, but works an IT job and makes a lot of money to be a wagecuck) basically pays me the same amount as usual and when i ask him for the rest he tells me that im a landlord scum and a greedy a------. -We keep talking and he says that he isnt going to pay more of "the hard earned product of his labor" just because i want to. -He closes the door but i can still hear him mumbling retarded things about Mao and landlord purges. -I didnt know that he was a commie and I know that i can just evict him, but i dont want to. He is such a valuable tenant. (Pays on time, treats my property with respect, Never called me to fix anything...) What can i do to make him pay? Can i erase his retarded commie ideology from his brain somehow? 9 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> O Anonymous (ID: 1DgDqmX/ ) 10/29/21(Fri)17:58:51 No.42538457 >>42538363 I wasn't trying to do a greentext >I know how to make them But i dislike the different color](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/774/005.png "Anon has compassion | /r/Greentext")
![File: greta-boris.jpg (42 KB, 367x416) O Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)15:53:34 No.64138321 [Reply] ► >go train one of my clients >guy's a surgeon >tells me about his latest patient while training >a woman who likes to sleep on top of trees >of course she does >fell off a tree while sleeping a while ago >broke her back >had pins, metal plates and s--- installed >2 months pass by >woman is back at the hospital >managed to loosen up the metal plate and pins >has to go under surgery again >the nurses call this guy >woman is going nuts, shouting on the pre-operative holding area >surgeon comes in >tree-sleeping-maniac is snorting cocaine in the waiting room before going into surgery >of course brought some blow >who doesn't >makes a mess, snow everywhere >anyway >guy mentions her name >it rings a bell >remembered that 10 years ago I had a one night stand with this girl >I had not showered for 2 days that night >she was playing with my balls >suddenly started licking my a------ >feelsgoodman.xlsm >tell him l've never heard that name before >mfw the girl who liked licking dirty assholes now sleeps on trees while high on nose candy What's the craziest story you heard from a client while training? This is not even the craziest s--- someone has shared with me](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/743/c5f.png "Anon has deja-vu | /r/Greentext")
![O Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)19:26:54 No.865773264 [Reply] >mfw americans call chips “french fries" >mfw americans call crisps "chips" >mfw americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars" >mfw americans call motorized rollinghams "cars" >mfw americans call fizzlebombs "fireworks" >mfw americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC" >mfw americans call meat water "gravy" >mfw americans call electro-rope “power cables" >mfw americans call beef wellington ensemble with crispy green leafs a “burger" >mfw americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens" >mfw americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs" >mfw americans call breaddystack a "sandwich" >mfw americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers “keyboards" >mfw americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “peanut butter and jelly" >mfw americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator" >mfw americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater" >mfw americans call a rickety-pop a “gear shift" | >mfw americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie" >mfw americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver" >mfw americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun" >mfw americans call a ceiling-bright a "lightbulb" >mfw americans call a blimpy bounce bounce a "ball" >mfw americans call a slippery dippery long mover a “snake" >mfw americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads" the nerve](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/235/697/dba.png "Anon hates American english | /r/Greentext")
