Anon thinks he’s the Driver | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 06/14/19(Fri)03:01:42 No.116609807 >2011 >Watched Drive like once >try to act like the driver >no money for jacket >my lobster sweatshirt will suffice 966 KB GIF >wear it backwards so it matches the scorpion on the back >get invited to party by some acquaintances >this is my time to shine >girl stand next to me >she tries to make small talk >"So what do you do for fun?" >I wait three seconds >"I drive" >Really? You think you can take me home? My friend is being a bitch." >Panic I biked here >"alright" >randomly grab a pair of keys in the bowl near the entrance >we're in the car >I turn it on, put it in reverse >accidentally slam on the pedal >we jut forward, turns out it was drive >we slam into the garage door >her head slams into the dashboard shes bleeding and silent >people come pouring out of the house >"What the f---?!" >I stay still like Ryan Gosling at the end of the movie >"I think Anon and Jenna are dead! Lets call the ambulance" >Wait til there is only a couple people out watching for emergency vehicles >unbuckle myself, run, and hop on my bike and drive away >Real human bean

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (576px x 1148px)

File size: 75.8 KB

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

View All 43,719 Images

More:

Anon and teacher discuss peni | /r/Greentext

>17 >junior english class >reading sound and the fury >entire class is sleep-deprived and mentally destroyed >finished quentin the night before >discussing it 63 KB JPG >everyone's clearly out of it >teacher starts prodding us a bit >"well of course quentin is attracted to his sister" >we pretty much all get that >"and he's clearly impotent, like him dropping the gun" >a bit more confused noW >"and the knife is obviously a penis• >everyone jerks awake >just looking at the teacher in awe >half the class is making a visible expression like "oh s---...it was?" >class basically descends into anarchy for the day as the teacher just explains that everything is a penis great moment.

Pin

The apple did not fall from the tree. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/20(Sun)23:47:41 No.835565196 >be me 15 Today >With 38 yr old dad cleaning out our garage and fixing wiring >"Anon hold this toolbox i'm gonna move some of these boxes so we can get to the crawlspace" 68 KB PNG >whatever >put down tool box somewhere and check my phone >"Alright anon hand me the Smaller ratchet" >brain at 967 ping > suddenly don't remember where i put the toolbox >"Where the hell did you put it?!?" >Loading confusedpanic.exe >"i dont know dad theyre gone i cant find them" >"WELL IT DIDNT JUST NOCLIP THROUGH THE F------ GROUND ANON FIND IT" >whatthefuckdidyousay.png >We're both looking at each other awkwardly knowing what he just said >he embarrassingly storms off into the house >dad is apparently also a beta gamer cuck >like father like son

Pin

Who would win in a fight, a trillion lions or the Sun? | /r/Greentext

SCIENCE & TECH 19 JANUARY 2015 Who would win in a fight, a trillion lions or the Sun? Anonymous 01/23/15(Fri)11:06:33 No.594257065 ► >one trillion lions >each of them is around 10 feet long >that's 10,000,000,000,000 feet of lion >Sun is 93,000,000 miles away from Earth >93,000,000 miles = 491,040,000,000 feet >10,000,000,000,000 is greater than 491,040,000,000 >lions stand on each others' shoulders and create ladder to the sun >unscrew the lightbulb >lions win And you didn't even have to use all of the lions.

Pin

Cider store rules | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőtt ... >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" >thank him 67,4 kB JPG >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

Pin

Anon goes to University of Melbourne | /r/Greentext

Be me ID: Ybtk8RQv No.187820144 14 hours ago the-falling-man.jpg JPG 204.6 KiB 1296x730 Australia >Attend orientation day at University >Get handed orientation pack full of goodies >Thank person and go home >Open bag >Find condoms >Find lube >Find latex f------ gloves >Find a f------ plastic sheet?! >Read instructions: sheet is for licking vag I don't know exactly why but this bothers me on so many levels. Maybe because I am going there to improve my mind and they are assuming I will be engaging in degeneracy. Maybe because treating your partner like a class 4 biological hazard defeats the purpose of intimacy? Maybe because they have the temerity to assume fisting and muff diving are standard courtship activities? What the f--- has my sex life got to do with this institution?How do we fix higher education and take it back from these degenerate assholes? 20 replies ID: hk02Ka6R No.187820216 14 hours ago Canada The gloves are for fisting her a------ btw. 1 reply

Pin

Agent 47 kills | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)13:05:09 No.575398370 >Welcome to New Mexico, 47. Your target, renowned kinomatographer Halyna Hutchins, can be found on set preparing the daily shoot for the day. With famous actor Alec Baldwin at the helm of production, you should expect a heightened and more observant security presence, but certainly nothing you haven't handled before. Good luck, 41 KB JPG 47. >THAT... is Halyna Hutchins, acclaimed director of photography, and covert operative for Providence. Stay sharp, 47. >Choosing a prop gun to incriminate the lead actor? Interesting choice as always, 47. Alas, I dare say a premature retirement for both parties is in order. >The target is down, and not even by your own hand! Excellent work, 47. The money is being transferred now, it's time to make your exit... stage left.

Pin

Anon starved to death | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)19:14:54 No.49882816 >Wake up late past noon as usual >Mom is on phone and cleaning >Take shower >Put chicken nuggies and fries into toaster oven >Fire it up and 11 mins till they are done >Hears mom go to door and open it >She invited some of her friends 16 KB JPG >ohshit.png >Retreat to room >Waiting in room for them to leave but it won't be for at least 2+ hours >Nuggies and fries are going to be cold by the time they leave >I should have just microwaved my food and eat soggy nuggies and fries >Going to starve in my room until they leave

Pin

Anon doesn't understand women. | /r/Greentext

No. 65893901 10/25/21(Mon)08:22:37 02f.jpg 37 KB 655x527 Anons... What happened? Girls are confusing. >Be me, 24 >Meet some girl in a college class same age >We date for like a month or 2 >First time ive ever done that at all >She jokes a lot about marriage, kids, and moving in together >Actually was serious about moving in >Like the idea but its happening too fast >One day she randomly tells me she might move on with some other dude she has known for even less time than me >l tell her that her constant talking to other guys is making me uncomfortable >A few mins later she says "let's go to the bedroom" >We f--- >Lose my virginity >A few days later talk about being "official" and moving in together again >Find out from a mutual friend she keeps asking out the other dude even after all this >Break up with the w---- >Never hear from her again What's the point of dating? 2 replies, 0 images

Pin

Running Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)12:31:39 No.65895672 >feel the urge to engage in degenerate behavior such as: jerking off, drinking, smoking, gambling or feeling generally depressed >go outside and run through the forest like a madamn until| 169 KB JPG collapse >urge is now gone So far I lost 10 kg 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)12:42:08 No.65895753 >>65895672 (OP) # good, do it now before you get older and will possibly have a heart attack in the middle of it : Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)13:20:21 No.65896124 >>65895672 (OP)# It's 2am where I am. Guess I'm jerkin it then.

Pin

Realest of the real | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)20:34:53 No.65901004 >be 9 y o me >find my moms birth certificate >her father seems to have a different name than my grandpa >ask mom, she tells me her dad died when she was 2 years old 61 KB JPG >10 years later >grandpa walks towards me and says its time to tell me the truth, that he isnt my real grandpa >i tell him i already know that for a long time, doesnt matter, for me, he is my real grandpa. >"and for me you are my real grandson", hugs me

Pin

Anon has social anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 minutes ago 763537482 : >at subway >tell lady my order >starts putting wrong stuff on sandwich >too scared to tell her no

Pin

When in doubt, improvise. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 402055727 3 hr ago >In philosophy >Professor asks me about the concept of evil >Put on the spot, start panicking but remember a certain quote from Witcher 3 >"Evil is Evil. Lesser, greater, middling... Makes no difference. The degreee is arbitary. The definition's blurred. If I'm to choose between one evil and another... I'd rather not choose at all" >Professor looks stunned, class gives me a round of applause 773.4 kB JPG

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes