Weapons of Mass Devotion | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: AnonymousE Dad getting a second wife 09/16/21(Thu)01:42:01 No.151896021 You non-Mena f--- will never know this feel >be me >mom and dad are happily married for 40+ years and have 5 kids 4 grandkids >dad suddenly says he's met this 37 KB GIF girl he wants to marry >she's a new intern in his office and is ten years younger than me same age as lil sis >mom and sis crying, bros angry >lots of shouting and fighting >dad shouts louder than anyone slaps my brother for getting in his face >says he's doing God's will and we should be happy for him >says he wants more kids too >threatens to cut us off and divorce my mom if we don't go along with his plans This is why we need feminism, my mom doesn't deserve this.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Britanon role plays free health care | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:19:11 No.65401880 Woioi lads listen to this >Come home from work yesterday >Wife lying seductively on the sofa wearing a nurse's costume >'I want to try a little role play' *Winks* >'Have a seat right here and the nurse will be with you soon' >Stare at her beautiful ass in short skirt as she walks out the room ffw 4 hours >Still waiting F------ NHS

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Anon works at a helpline | /r/Greentext

23m (9/16 12:23) · 863184208 3 Re · 0 Img · JPG 49KB · (72O × 707) 3 Replies >be me >working at a call center for sexual assault victims >guy calls up, says that he was assaulted >we talk for a while, seems upset >he starts asking me questions >were you ever assaulted, when, how did he touch you, how did you feel, etc. >hear this m----------- breathing heavy, beating off on the other side of the line >hang up why are men like this. This happens to me at least twice a week.

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The eye of the needle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)00:34:56 No.65399995 >be me live in a city with a f--- ton of antivaxxers >they don't want to get the shot and restrictions are coming soon >find the CDC vaccine template online 29 KB JPG >print about 150 CDC unsigned cards for about 0.02$ each >find an anti-vax Facebook group by my city (filled with mothers and conspiracy theorists) >Join the Facebook group sell all of them for 5$ each >Profit Why is the us like this?

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Anon has a great job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:28:34 No.784096989 Dream job thread? I'll start: >be me >from the day one i loved videogames and wanted to work on them in the future >worked very hard to get to good school 5 KB JPG >no life because of it but thought "f--- it it will be worth it" >graduated uni, one of the best students >looking for job >this one big company asks me to make video game >yaaaaas.phd >it's f------ blizzard >it's f------ diablo mobile How do i end my life?

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Absolutely Disgusting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)18:16:10 No.65383829 >finally get a girlfriend >she uses reddit 101 KB JPG

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Anon respects woman | /r/Greentext

O File: 1344263299653 jpg-(118 KB, 750x561, 1342391823379.jpg) %O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:28 No. 150024827 Q0 >walk in the streets at night >see this what do? Replies to this post: >>150024980 >150025340 >>150025928 >>150025939 >>150026292 >>150026471 >150026708 >150027040 >>150027683 O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:30 No.150024980 Q00 >>150024827 Offer her my coat to cover up and a ride home Replies to this post: >>150025020 >>150025330 *O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:46 No. 150026512 O00 >Help her up and carry her disoriented body to my place. >Let her sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch >Deal with her freak out when she wakes up. >Ask her if she's ok. >"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this." as I hand her a bowl of eggs. >Ask if she needs a ride home. >Tell her to take care. Replies to this post: >>150026816 >>150026884 >>150026870 >>150026876 >>150026697 >>150026716 >>150026726 >>150026729 >>150028742 >>150026793 >>150026796 >>150028808 >>150026970 >150027098 >>150027215 >>150027757 >>150027901 >>150027909 >>150028005 >>150028017 >>150028114 >>150028136 >>150028154 >150028268 >>150028272 >>150028273 >>150028568 O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No.150026676 Q00 O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:48 No. File: 1344264509932.jpg-(102 KB, 480. O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No. 1500266 File: 1344264432937.png-(265 KB, 334x393, 1 >>150026512 Wizard detected >>150026512 >>150026512 Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:01 File: 1344265300847.png-(4 KB, 312x315, 1343878593548.png) HIGH LEVEL >>150026512 >take her back to your place >think "You don't have to tell me what EMBARRASSING happened, but you do have to eat this" is a You HAVE TO EATALL THEEGGS smooth line Jesus christ were you the creepy one at school? O Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:05 No. 150028268 QEA File: 1344265558447.png-(45 KB, 882x896, EAT ALL THE EGGS.png) 8 Vou WAVE >>150026512 Replies to this post: >>150028315 2>150028382 >>150028528 Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:00 why are you >>150026512 >h-hi. you a-wake? >wh- why are you screaming? >pls stop >h-here e-eggs doingThis.? >pl-please dont go >*door slams* >l love you too

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Anon finds out why r/greentext exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:00:46 No.65400999 >be me >newfag from r/greentexts >endlessly scrolling through /b/ >open a random archived thread >see a woman's body cut in half, guts and s--- all spilling out >w--.jpg where are all the funny greentexts, why do 234 KB PNG i only see loli p--- and gore View Thread

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Anon has a small weiner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/21(Sat)10:33:16 No.848945557 >be me, home alone >family is out >browsing /b/ >see an advertisement that says "GET A HUGE C--- IN LESS THAN A DAY" >l'm lacking in the meat 150 KB PNG department, so I click on it >loading >says "Thank you, your order has been received" >I didn't put any info in >hear the front door slam open >yell “hey guys how was the shopping?" >no response >just high pitched giggles >small footsteps, then a thud >the r--- dwarf is coming >mfw

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Anon has superpower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)02:18:56 No.65394965 >be me >wake up at 7am on barely any sleep >go on a long trip in car with family >suddenly feel high like I smoked a fat blunt 52 KB JPG >trying to hide it (family is conservative) >literally the best high of my life >this goes on for 2 hours, having time of my life >wake up >"we're here".mp3 >???? >Feel rested and completely sober like nothing happened >basically got high for free and rested at the same time is it possible to learn this power?

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Anon is prince Andrew, I mean...Eric | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP) # Finders keepers.

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Anon embarrassed himself big time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)22:51:43 No.786038036 >be me >cat is on my lab >pet her >lightbulb >think its funny if i will hit the cats face with my c--- >pull c--- out 74 KB PNG >hit the cat with it very smoothly >say: boob boob booob everytime >mom comes in >starts creaming >she runs down in the living room >be me >run in toilett >starts crying >dad knocks on toilett do >i wont answer >starts making greentext on /b its f------ over lads. its f------ over. i can never watch into my moms eyes have to f------ run away and start new live. f------ kill me 13 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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anon has a bathing birb | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)15:26:51 No.863143228 >>863144635 >>86 >be me >feeling a bit depressed >also be me >have pet birb >fill plate with water and put it over the sink >birb sees it >enters it and starts bathing >no longer feel depressed >thanks birb pic related Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)15:51:26 No.863144635 >>863145990 >>863143228 (OP) cute birb

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