Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 01/13/13(Sun)00:32 No.171230770 [▼]>>171231197 >>171231239 >>171231245 >>171239305 >>171240298 >>171240470 36458699.png (61 KB, 148x196) iqdb google >My school had "that kid" >Autistic, had an obsession with traffic cones for some reason >He happened to live a couple of houses away from mine >Everyday me and my friends would walk to school >"That kid" would always follow us >Not with us in the group and talking, but would stray behind us on his bicycle >Would always try to but into the conversation, and we just ignored him. Generally whatever he had to say was autistic as f--- or just plain b------- >Have to cross railroad tracks to get to school >One day train is stalled on the tracks >Path to school is blocked >It's starting to rain >"That kid" has a brilliant idea >He gets off his bike and wheels it up to the train >Climbs up onto the hitch of the train >Lifts his bike up so he can get it over the train >Bike gets stuck on some part of the train >All of a sudden, train brakes release >He struggles as hard as he can to rescue his bike >Train starts moving >It's too late now, it's too late to save his bike but the train is going too fast for him to jump off >Hear a long "AHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHH" slowly fade away as the train takes off with him on it >He didn't show up to school until 2 days later >mfw I've heard that they found him in Louisiana, which is pretty far away considering this was in Missouri.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)16:10:33 No.862752553 >Go outside building for vape break >Nicotine high achieved jpg >Shy looking leftist girl is walking into building 158 KB JPG >Go back inside >See her enter behind me in second doors window reflection >Go-to elevator >She's still behind me >Enter elevator >Door starts closing when she comes up to enter >Hold it open for her so she can enter >Just me and her >ldea.gif >Proceed to push out my all day held in farts >It's very loud >Elevator dings for the floor >Turn my head around and say "No one will ever believe you" >Door opens >Walk out and enter my office >Didn't look back

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: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 dafuq? >parents wont let me take the vaccine >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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>be me >have a fetish for non-op trans woman >not interested in vaginas anymore >not really into guys but sucked off some guys just to enjoy c--- >been like this for years >meet really sexy trans woman >we like each other >we love each other >sex is amazing, she is versatile and she loves to use her penis >finally I really enjoy having fulfilling sex >living the dream I made it guys

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56m (9/9 21:08) · 83304734 15 Re · O Img PNG 25KB · (786 × 587) 5 Replies >wired earplugs die after a long time >decide to go wireless for once and try something new >get pic related (Galaxy Buds+) >"oh it has a companion app, um, okay.?" >download it >needs access to phonecalls >needs access to calendar >needs access to SMS >needs access to contacts >needs access to location >needs access to your f------ soul Guess we won't be using that app then. How do normalfags allow this?

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: Anonymous 09/04/21(Sat)17:14:38 No.29666940 br, bros >be me >daily stroll though the forrest >totalserenity.png >sees a fairy ring >have the idea of the century >pull down pants and squats in the center of the fairy ring 223 KB JPG >*Tactical Nuke Incoming* >unleash fire and fury from my rectum >decimate all in its wake >leave fairy ring a steaming s--- crater >ffw to 2 days ago >notice things around the house go missing >shrug it off >start to hear strange, almost otherworldy sounds during the night >2spooky4me.cmd >wake up >looks out window >sees that some mushrooms have sprouted during the night >they appear to form a message >"We know it was you anon" Give it to me bluntly bros, how much danger am I in?

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: Anonymous my friend has severe autism 09/09/21(Thu)12:11:39 No.65316519 >be me >going over to a friends place >we have fun, talk, hang out. >asks me to go in his bedroom >wants to show me something >uhhh ok sure 13 KB JPG >enter his bedroom >there are pictures of wojaks taped to the wall >i s--- you not there are at least 100. >nearly every space on the f------ wall is filled with pictures of wojaks he printed out >brain 404s >friend breaks the silence >"aren't you impressed?" >tell him yes, but ask why he printed out wojaks to stick on his wall >"because they looked nice, these are my favorite wojaks" >ok then >he talks about his wojaks for a few more minutes or so >im completely dumbfounded the entire time >leave later >still thinking of wojaks ok so what the F--- was that?

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Anon stocks up for possible apocalypse | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 20210908_234814.jpg (305 KB, 1080x806) O When's the apocalypse starting? Anonymous (ID: UKTUBATE) 09/09/21(Thu)09:18:41 No.338279366 ► >>338279553 >>338279759 >>338279848 >>338279964 >>338280004 >>338280064 >>338280497 >>338280621 >>338280864 >>338281247 >>338281421 >>338281761 >>338281825 >>338281897 >>338281944 >>338281954 >>338281964 >>338282181 >>338282327 >>338282606 >>338282732 >>338282819 >>338282913 >>338283257 >>338283300 >>338283356 >>338283400 >>338283529 >>338283675 >>338283780 >>338283848 >>338283895 >>338284042 >>338284144 >>338284314 >>338284345 >>338284410 >>338284489 >>338285119 >>338285166 >>338285389 >>338285560 >>338285644 >>338285697 I just bought 200 cans of beans, what do I do now? Something better happen or l'll be p-----. >> U Anonymous (ID: +MiA+Jrj ) E 09/09/21(Thu)09:52:53 No.338283300 ► >>338284544 >>338285449 File: 1630463642443.jpg (31 KB, 640x676) >>338279366 (OP) >the happening happens >nukes fly every which way, and chaos and terror rules the earth >anon was prepared >our hero enters his bomb shelter, stocked full of canned food >for a month or so, he is content >but then the air filter gives out >oh s--- >anon calmly begins working on the filter, unclogging and fixing the issue >BRAAAP >anons hands begin to tremble, and his face turns pale >slowly, he looks over at the shelves of food >beans >other beans >more beans >dear God, its only beans >he knows what is coming >BRAAAAAPPP >anon panicks as he works, increasing his efforts >BRAAAAAAРАРАРАААААА >the air is growing thin, he has to hurry! >BRAAAAAAPPPP >the air has a foul haze to it, but the filter is almost fixed >anons trembling hands drop the wrench he is holding >he leans down to grab it >his final mistake >BRAAAAAAААAAAAAAAAААAAAAAAAAAAAAAA РАРАРАРААААAAAAAAAAААAAAAAAAРАРАРАРАРАРАРАРАААААААААAAAРPPP!!!!! >Anon falls to the floor, suffocating on his own gasses >five hundred years later >civilization is rebuilding, and growing rapidly >some engineers for a water line find an old bunker hidden underground >they get some equipment, and cut the door open >their final error >hundreds of years of farts spill out into the world >the engineers are vaporized >the local township succumbs to the gas in seconds >cities miles away watch as the billowing clowd engulfs the region >the methane poisons the area, and for the next millenia, a 10 kilometer radius around anons house is uninhabitable >another 100 kilometers requires special protection

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O Anonymous (ID: 12OHXFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Re > Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun > Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile >Eventually parents move him to hospital > He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >Igo to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun > Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago.

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: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)22:58:50 No.65288074 >my family recently got into a Pentecostal church >every f------ night, hear them shouting in gibberish at air trying to cast out demonic spirits that are "oppressing" our house Just another day in the great state of Texas 146 KB JPG

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