Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)23:33:31 No.53257079 >finally get gf >she's on my computer >finds my pepe folder >"anon, what are these?" >"those are for shitposting" >"you don't need these anymore now that you've got me" 40 KB JPG >*deletes pepe folder* wat do? 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)23:41:29 No.53257174 >>53257079 (OP) # F------ KILL HER REEEEEEEEEEEEE 53 KB JPG let's send this poor bastard some pepes to rebuild his collection anons

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Anon exploits the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)23:09:22 No.65183531 1629736984484.jpg 38 KB JPG >be me >go on photofeeler >make account >be able to rate women >know that women are insecure about their looks >anyone I deem unattractive gets a "This person seems trans." quick note Kek, they're going to be so mad. : Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)23:20:10 No.65183615 Based department here, we need to talk asap anon. 1.06 MB PNG

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Anon has unusual talent | /r/Greentext

also, i got bored of being depressed and friendless, so i started practicing annoying s---. >be me >got really good at high-pitched whistle that old people cant here >sat behind super irritable girl >start the whistle >she starts looking around >start again every time she looks at her paper >everyone laughing >she discovers its me the whole time >turns around >yells "if you dont f------ stop that whistling, im going to beat the f--- out of you and r--- your unconscious body." >raise eyebrows >dude beside me has beat red face from laughing so f------ hard >teacher says "young lady, go to the principals office, right now." >"if he would stop whistling, i wouldnt be getting so angry!" >"i don't hear anything, go to the principals office." >entire class trying to stifle laughter. dude beside me finally decides to breath, starts laughing so loud pretty sure people down the hall can hear him >chick throws a text book at him >she gets expelled for what she said to me and assaulting another student feels good man

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Might makes right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)08:04:17 No.65188368 >>65188349 # >pull up to four-way intersection >somebody is stopped there before me >pull up, they try to wave me through, even though they have right of way >this infuriates me >put my car in park, shake my head at them and cross my arms >this infuriates the normalfag >they keep trying to gesture me through >shake my head and smile >they finally go with an enraged look on their face Obey traffic. Haha

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Anon needs answers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)00:37:21 No.13569199 >identify as woman >can now get into women in STEM scholarships >if anyone questions it you can get them attacked Have you taken the trannypill yet /sci/? 81 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)00:38:52 No.13569207 >>13569199 (OP) # I identify as holocaust survivor where is my money bitch. >>13569473 #

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Anon's life changed after entering college | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous08/24/19(Sat)16:59:53 No.807929569 >be me severely underweight, balding, depressed chronically ill anon >living at home with parents at 20 years old after withdrawing from 731 KB PNG college >decide to change my life >listen to Jordan Peterson >go back to college and don't bring a desktop computer to force myself to stop gaming >ride my bike everywhere >start to make gains at the gym >slowly start making friends despite my autism >get girls number at dining hall today >have date on monday with 7/10 qt3.14 >l'm 22 now but I did it /b/ i escaped hell, if I can do it you can too >put yourself in a situation where you either succeed or die trying >your animal instincts will enable you to succeed where your willpower will fail you. ifunny.co

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Anon doesn't want a gf anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)08:58:14 No.65188326 >have first ever g/f (yeah, yeah. gtfo normie) >has this thing where she likes to wear a hoodie at home and literally nothing else >like over her nude body, nothing underneath 12 KB JPG >and she likes to sit on the hardwood floor while watching anime >whatever, I think it's cute >few months later, after a chipotle lunch, something doesn't feel right to her >says she feels a pressure building up, and her belly is achy and bloated >suddenly, SSSHHHHHHHHQRQRQRQRQRQRQRPPLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLPPP!!! >like the sound of newborn hatchlings being mangled in a wood chipper coming out the back of her >she runs to the bathroom, leaving behind a hot, steamy, barely digested puddle of poo >she's locked herself in the bathroom, crying and apologising while I'm left using clorox wipes, because I don't know what else to use I don't want a g/f anymore. 4 Replies View Thread

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Our friend has grown the balls only to lose them just as fast | /r/Greentext

88 O Anonymous (ID: IVZUMVB)) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 No.424844538 There is no heaven >walking home from school >see girl I like also walking home >grow the balls to walk up to her >say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence >aks me if I want to burn with her >f--- yes >go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed >f--- yes >smoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her Only Lavender Town >f--- yes >we kiss >grabs my d--- >f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome >asks me to finger her >never fingered a girl >feelsgood.jpg >asks me to put a finger in >feelsbetter.jpg >ask for 3 finger >does so >asks for my whole hand >wut >still does so >asks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era >that god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)13:18:53 No.862032253 >be me >straight guy >feels extension gay when horny >only when horny >even impulse bought a dildo once because horny >use it everyday 413 KB PNG >coom >not gay anymore I'm not gay, right /b/ros?

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