Anon's life changed after entering college | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous08/24/19(Sat)16:59:53 No.807929569 >be me severely underweight, balding, depressed chronically ill anon >living at home with parents at 20 years old after withdrawing from 731 KB PNG college >decide to change my life >listen to Jordan Peterson >go back to college and don't bring a desktop computer to force myself to stop gaming >ride my bike everywhere >start to make gains at the gym >slowly start making friends despite my autism >get girls number at dining hall today >have date on monday with 7/10 qt3.14 >l'm 22 now but I did it /b/ i escaped hell, if I can do it you can too >put yourself in a situation where you either succeed or die trying >your animal instincts will enable you to succeed where your willpower will fail you. ifunny.co

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't want a gf anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)08:58:14 No.65188326 >have first ever g/f (yeah, yeah. gtfo normie) >has this thing where she likes to wear a hoodie at home and literally nothing else >like over her nude body, nothing underneath 12 KB JPG >and she likes to sit on the hardwood floor while watching anime >whatever, I think it's cute >few months later, after a chipotle lunch, something doesn't feel right to her >says she feels a pressure building up, and her belly is achy and bloated >suddenly, SSSHHHHHHHHQRQRQRQRQRQRQRPPLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLPPP!!! >like the sound of newborn hatchlings being mangled in a wood chipper coming out the back of her >she runs to the bathroom, leaving behind a hot, steamy, barely digested puddle of poo >she's locked herself in the bathroom, crying and apologising while I'm left using clorox wipes, because I don't know what else to use I don't want a g/f anymore. 4 Replies View Thread

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Our friend has grown the balls only to lose them just as fast | /r/Greentext

88 O Anonymous (ID: IVZUMVB)) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 No.424844538 There is no heaven >walking home from school >see girl I like also walking home >grow the balls to walk up to her >say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence >aks me if I want to burn with her >f--- yes >go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed >f--- yes >smoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her Only Lavender Town >f--- yes >we kiss >grabs my d--- >f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome >asks me to finger her >never fingered a girl >feelsgood.jpg >asks me to put a finger in >feelsbetter.jpg >ask for 3 finger >does so >asks for my whole hand >wut >still does so >asks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era >that god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)13:18:53 No.862032253 >be me >straight guy >feels extension gay when horny >only when horny >even impulse bought a dildo once because horny >use it everyday 413 KB PNG >coom >not gay anymore I'm not gay, right /b/ros?

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Anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)14:58:27 No.65178676 >make chadfish account >put "incel and proud" in bio >all of a sudden women like incels would this work? 8 KB JPG

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Anon is a pirate. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/15(Sun)18:19:46 No.25929113 > Be 1521 > Plundering with me crew > Yahar.png > Hector calls "Git ovar here, eye see somthing ye might be likin" > Hobble me way ovar to Hector > "Looky 'ere" > BythelockerofDavyJones.png > It be a fuhckin' 4 barreled bunderbuss. > Cap'n Chester walks over, wonderin' what the fuss be about > Eye patch flies off > "GIMME THAT!" > Takes the abomination of a gun away from Hector > Cap'n fiddles with the powder bag > Accidentally pulls all 4 triggers > ScurveydogsFW half the ship was blown off and 4 of the crew were but a fine mist.

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Anon’s sister thinks he’s suicidal | /r/Greentext

>text my sister out of the blue asking if she wants to visit our grandmother since it's been a while >she phones my mom convinced Im suicidal because apparently people like visiting extended family before they off themselves >doesnt even text me back or call me, just my parents The absolute state of my life right now.

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Anon goes full glycemic | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKERD SNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKE D DI D SNICKERS MECOCILAE M WECHOCL n team Yu E CHIE S SNICKER MLE DOCKS C . TUER LansK CHOCOLATE-PEAMUTSCARANE s GUEPAA. SNICKERS CaniyWarchouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold BNIBKERS

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anon gets his mom's recommendin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets 38 KB JPG blackmailed because he watched loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)19:41:24 No.65181098 >cute girl asks for my number >walk away without saying anything ITS F------ OVER. ITS. F------. OVER. TRULY THE 719 KB PNG MOST AUTISTIC F----- IN THIS WORLD. View Thread

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Anon Goes For the Record | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)23:57:07 No.65173592 >goes on vacation for week >Doesn't s--- once >Gets home >Still doesn't s--- I'm literally on a roll here. Let's see how long I can keep this up. 18 KB JPG Pic unrelated

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Anons are just pretending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Bdamy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery." >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol

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Anon thinks evolution failed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)17:01:39 No.862040639 >be me >ram >tryna mate so gotta assert my dominance >this usually involves bashing my face into competing male rams on >the side of a f------ cliff >bunch of fine ass ram biddys 11 KB JPG watchin >winnertakeall.mp4 >theres no rules to this s--- >you be squarin up one dude and some d--- just side swipes you in the knees >rams just getting yeeted off this cliff until only I remain iamthealpharam.jpeg >battered and broken I go to collect my prizes butwaittheresmore.rip >some new beta says 1v1 me bro wherewereyouonthecliffmelee.bitch >hosed but I gotta accept >we bash our skulls together with enough force to kill a grown man >just keep smashing brain buckets like this until I eventually tap >beta cucks me out of my harem >they are only fertile two days a year how the f--- has evolution not wiped this species out of existence?

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