Anon's life changed after entering college | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous08/24/19(Sat)16:59:53 No.807929569 >be me severely underweight, balding, depressed chronically ill anon >living at home with parents at 20 years old after withdrawing from 731 KB PNG college >decide to change my life >listen to Jordan Peterson >go back to college and don't bring a desktop computer to force myself to stop gaming >ride my bike everywhere >start to make gains at the gym >slowly start making friends despite my autism >get girls number at dining hall today >have date on monday with 7/10 qt3.14 >l'm 22 now but I did it /b/ i escaped hell, if I can do it you can too >put yourself in a situation where you either succeed or die trying >your animal instincts will enable you to succeed where your willpower will fail you. ifunny.co

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon doesn't want a gf anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)08:58:14 No.65188326 >have first ever g/f (yeah, yeah. gtfo normie) >has this thing where she likes to wear a hoodie at home and literally nothing else >like over her nude body, nothing underneath 12 KB JPG >and she likes to sit on the hardwood floor while watching anime >whatever, I think it's cute >few months later, after a chipotle lunch, something doesn't feel right to her >says she feels a pressure building up, and her belly is achy and bloated >suddenly, SSSHHHHHHHHQRQRQRQRQRQRQRPPLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLPPP!!! >like the sound of newborn hatchlings being mangled in a wood chipper coming out the back of her >she runs to the bathroom, leaving behind a hot, steamy, barely digested puddle of poo >she's locked herself in the bathroom, crying and apologising while I'm left using clorox wipes, because I don't know what else to use I don't want a g/f anymore. 4 Replies View Thread

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Our friend has grown the balls only to lose them just as fast | /r/Greentext

88 O Anonymous (ID: IVZUMVB)) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 No.424844538 There is no heaven >walking home from school >see girl I like also walking home >grow the balls to walk up to her >say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence >aks me if I want to burn with her >f--- yes >go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed >f--- yes >smoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her Only Lavender Town >f--- yes >we kiss >grabs my d--- >f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome >asks me to finger her >never fingered a girl >feelsgood.jpg >asks me to put a finger in >feelsbetter.jpg >ask for 3 finger >does so >asks for my whole hand >wut >still does so >asks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era >that god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)13:18:53 No.862032253 >be me >straight guy >feels extension gay when horny >only when horny >even impulse bought a dildo once because horny >use it everyday 413 KB PNG >coom >not gay anymore I'm not gay, right /b/ros?

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Anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)14:58:27 No.65178676 >make chadfish account >put "incel and proud" in bio >all of a sudden women like incels would this work? 8 KB JPG

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Anon is a pirate. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/15(Sun)18:19:46 No.25929113 > Be 1521 > Plundering with me crew > Yahar.png > Hector calls "Git ovar here, eye see somthing ye might be likin" > Hobble me way ovar to Hector > "Looky 'ere" > BythelockerofDavyJones.png > It be a fuhckin' 4 barreled bunderbuss. > Cap'n Chester walks over, wonderin' what the fuss be about > Eye patch flies off > "GIMME THAT!" > Takes the abomination of a gun away from Hector > Cap'n fiddles with the powder bag > Accidentally pulls all 4 triggers > ScurveydogsFW half the ship was blown off and 4 of the crew were but a fine mist.

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Anon’s sister thinks he’s suicidal | /r/Greentext

>text my sister out of the blue asking if she wants to visit our grandmother since it's been a while >she phones my mom convinced Im suicidal because apparently people like visiting extended family before they off themselves >doesnt even text me back or call me, just my parents The absolute state of my life right now.

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Anon goes full glycemic | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKERD SNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKE D DI D SNICKERS MECOCILAE M WECHOCL n team Yu E CHIE S SNICKER MLE DOCKS C . TUER LansK CHOCOLATE-PEAMUTSCARANE s GUEPAA. SNICKERS CaniyWarchouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold BNIBKERS

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anon gets his mom's recommendin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets 38 KB JPG blackmailed because he watched loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)19:41:24 No.65181098 >cute girl asks for my number >walk away without saying anything ITS F------ OVER. ITS. F------. OVER. TRULY THE 719 KB PNG MOST AUTISTIC F----- IN THIS WORLD. View Thread

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Anon Goes For the Record | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)23:57:07 No.65173592 >goes on vacation for week >Doesn't s--- once >Gets home >Still doesn't s--- I'm literally on a roll here. Let's see how long I can keep this up. 18 KB JPG Pic unrelated

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Anons are just pretending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Bdamy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery." >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol

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Anon thinks evolution failed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)17:01:39 No.862040639 >be me >ram >tryna mate so gotta assert my dominance >this usually involves bashing my face into competing male rams on >the side of a f------ cliff >bunch of fine ass ram biddys 11 KB JPG watchin >winnertakeall.mp4 >theres no rules to this s--- >you be squarin up one dude and some d--- just side swipes you in the knees >rams just getting yeeted off this cliff until only I remain iamthealpharam.jpeg >battered and broken I go to collect my prizes butwaittheresmore.rip >some new beta says 1v1 me bro wherewereyouonthecliffmelee.bitch >hosed but I gotta accept >we bash our skulls together with enough force to kill a grown man >just keep smashing brain buckets like this until I eventually tap >beta cucks me out of my harem >they are only fertile two days a year how the f--- has evolution not wiped this species out of existence?

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