With friends like these | /r/Greentext
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![File: IMG 8325-Version-2-1.jpg (31 KB, 549x366) Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)09:34:36 No.602668487 [Reply] >602668756 >>602669012 >be me >be poorfag >be bicycling home from grocery shopping >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle >it's on >pedal faster and stay right behind this a------ >a thought starts to form >what if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head? >think, "What would /b/ do?" >do it f----- >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail >he books it >nu-uh >l am determined >he turns around again >I'm still on his tail >l am clearly matching my speed to his >he gets a little freaked out >l yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!" >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?" >douchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes >oh s--- >not how I planned this to go >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face >run back to my bike and book it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/176/199/e61.jpg "Anon buys some bread. | /r/Greentext")
![File: 1520963883976.png (83 KB, 264x246) U Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)17:16:08 No.65008027 [Reply] >>65008155 >>65008191 >the feeling of a girl's hand running through your hair and gently scratching your head while the other arm is wrapped around you in embrace >the rising and falling of her breath, soothing you >the sensation of her lightly planting kisses on your head and shoulders O Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)17:24:39 No.65008155 >>65008027 (OP)# >>the feeling of a girl's hand running through your hair and gently scratching your head >her hand gets tangled in all the greasy barb wire, she tries to leave that forest on your head but immediately pulls your whole head and rips several strands of yours >Despite the pain and fear, you both laugh it off >Until she sees that naked desert patch on your head, almost grossed out by it despite it being of her own creation >You worry about it for weeks, self conscious about your hair before already, now more so, her acting weirdly, seeing your hairline. >She tells you you don't need to worry >Wait, but don't take off the hat though, please.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/176/167/866.jpg "Serious as cancer | /r/Greentext")
