Anon goes to Chuck e Cheeseddds | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

true dedication >be me >9 >around 2004 >good boys who do good in classes get a free trip to chuck e cheeze >they give us barely any tokens though >good at the games so i get a s--- load 2.7 kB JPG of tickets >use tickets to buy big ass chuck e cheeze plush >teachers catch me >teachers say ''it's not fair for the other students who didnt get enough tickets to buy one, give it to me'" >whatthefuck.jpeg >9 year old me is processing this mindfuck >whale teacher looks at me >take chuck e cheese >book it >run outside of chuck e cheeze >skinny me manages to run fast even though not exercising at all >make it to school >rest for 5 minutes >im surprised the teacher didnt come chasing back, she was a whale >walk home >chuck e cheese plush is with me >come to school next day >principal gives me a talk >never allowed to go to the events for the high class good boys >mfw i look back at this

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: OP 08/15/21(Sun)19:32:57 No.64989598 >18th birthday >No messages from friends because I don't have any >No messages from family >Just alone in my one room appartment I don't want this take me back to being a child where I had no 300 KB PNG responsibility 44 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon got his priorities straight | /r/Greentext

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Anon Thinks Turkey is Good for Travel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- Co >sunny >attractive women >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in 50 KB JPG Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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miles transcends the physical plane | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)17:17:18 No.2076401 >>2076276 # >Taliban busts into Miles' hotel >Miles is gone, having ascended to a higher plane of existence >they check around for clues about where he has gone >one of them searches the bathroom, lifts the toilet lid >they find a log larger than a football, impossible for any mere mortal to have passed through his colon >this is all that remains of Miles within our realm of existence

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Anon explains Joe Rogans guest folk stories | /r/Greentext

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Anon watches a youtube video | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)16:28:04 No.861112506 >be me >watching typical meme compilation on YouTube >a wild funny appeared >attempt to slap knee >miss and end up high fiving my testicles >mfw 38 KB JPG

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Anon is on the way to NEETdom | /r/Greentext

>be me >britbong >got ADHD symptoms but never fully tested >bored watching TV >ad for disabilities comes up >lady with ADHD comes up 6 KB JPG >w--.jpg >do some research >mfw ADHD is a disability in the UK >mfw when I can leave the NEET life and get free meth from the government I love this country

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Anon spends $10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)08:02:15 No.44422418 >paid a h----- an extra $10 to shout "yamete onii- chan!!-" when i f----- her Best use of that $10 ever 88 KB JPG

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Anon meets Michael. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/04/13(Wed)23:37:55 No.504275002 >go to school with large tard population, we import them >for incoming tards, teachers get the inside scoop >friend's mom is teacher, tells him 17 KB JPG to avoid the one named Michael >he wears a helmet at all times, and can only grunt and say his own name, like a Pokemon >one day, strolling through the hall I see the tard parade on their way back to class >we had those old school metal trashcans like they used in the WWF, pic related >out of nowhere Michael raises on above his helmeted head and chirps gleefully "Michael!" >wranglers try to get him to stop >he gets a twinkle in his eye >"Michael!" >he brings the trashcan down like the hammer of God on the head of the disabled kid in the wheelchair, whom we called Hot Wheels >Hot Wheels begins to chimp out in his chair as garbage rains down on the other tards who begin honking and wailing >Michael is restrained by 4 adults, all the while with an oblivious smile on his face

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Anon tries to save the situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)06:14:17 No.861136726 >be me >work with children, ages 7-10 >coworkers constantly tell me I do the best job out of everyone >love them, it's a lot of fun >when I talk to them I get down to their level to talk face to face, because they're 6 KB JPG small >one day one of their moms shows up >very short, must have been 5'0" or maybe even less >out of habit I get down to her level >she looks at me weird >l immediately realize and panic >pretend to untie and then tie my shoe again like an autist >her daughter didn't come back the next week or ever again

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Anon's teacher is a scumbag | /r/Greentext

File: cunteacher.jpg (51 KB, 625x418) EVERYONE HAS THEIR HAND UP BUT YOU? Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)03:20:24 No.861148362 >>981148459 >be me in middle school 12yo >be in last class of the day with a new teacher >start feeling hungry, dizzy, tired. >take out a dextrose tablet out of my pencil case >right as I put it in my mouth the teacher looks at me >teacher goes "anon you better not be eating in class" >I tell them have type 1 diabetes and I am just taking dextrose >"If you don't spit it out I'm failing you this year" >tell her I have a doctors note if she doesn't believe me >"spit it out" SIA MERI CALLS ON YOU ANYWAY >quickly chew the tablet and swallow it >she looks at me like I just called her slurs >"to the principal's office RIGHT NOW!" >go to principal and explain >he agrees with me and tells me the teacher probably didn't believe me >principal writes note to show to teacher I'm allowed to eat in class >go back to class and give teacher the paper >she just looks at it and motions her head in a "go sit down" way >class ends >"anon, you stay" >assume she wants to maybe apologize or something >"anon you have detention today" >excusemewtf.webp >"nobody eats anything in my class" >remind her again that I'm actually diabetic and that the principal (basically her f------ boss) has allowed me to eat >"no butts or you're staying tomorrow as well" >by this time I'm very angry >try to say something but she interrupts and tells me to sit down or detention for a week >sit down >"give me your candy as well" >tell her it's not candy and that I'm not giving anything to her >she grabs my pencil case and locks it in her desk >"I'm going to the teachers room and you're going to stay here and sit on your seat until I come back!" >bitch actually locks the classroom door >after like 10 minutes start feeling very dizzy again (being angry depletes sugars rapidly) >try to break open her desk >next thing I know is waking up in an ambulance with my mom and a nurse next to me >sugar crashed so hard I went into a coma >teacher got fired next day What was your "incredibly bitchy teacher who almost killed you in school" moment, /bl?

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Anon really is lonely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)21:58:59 No.121597357 >Goes to prostitute >"Alright honey what do ya want? $50 to blow $100 for the night. $250 for a---, but ya gotta wear a rubbah" 40 KB JPG >l-I was wondering if you would come see a m- movie with me >"A movie? Like some kinky sex tape or somethin?" >N-no I wanted to know if you can come see Joker with me in theaters >"So you want me to suck ya c--- in the theater?" >N-no.just sit there and watch the movie with me I can still hear her laughing >>121604192 # >>121604678 #

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