anon is relatable | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)07:55:47 No.64986777 >have something to do >put it off until the 11th hour >finally do it in an adrenaline fueled panic >wow that was easy, why didn't I do it earlier 90 KB GIF Every time.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon ruins a moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)20:49:42 No.861103952 >be me >need to take a s--- >go to toilet >the same time as i go in i hear my brother outside >he found out his girlfriend cheated on him >window is slightly opened >can't close it because taking a s--- >hear everything >have the loudest most vile s--- ever >sounds like a portal to hell opening >at the same time hear brother arguing with his girlfriend >they're both crying >pretty sure they can hear the reckoning sorry for ruining an emotional moment for you bro

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Anon tells story about a ham sandwich. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.

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Anon Knows Gun Fu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense BAND

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Anon is self-destructive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)23:09:07 No.64992375 >Be me >18, soon to be 19 >work has party once a year, most people who work there are in between 16-20, so everybody gets super drunk/high >Im s-------- and start talking to 13 KB JPG one of my coworkers and we hit it off >hook up after party >ffw a week later, she clearly caught feelings, weve hung out a few times since then and hooked up again >sent her a pic she wanted to have while hanging out >my contact name on her phone says my love >i dont really feel the same way towards her >find out shes 16 1/2 >barely legal for us to have sex in my state >dont feel comfortable continuing relationship, especially because of her age, and im going to college soon and dont want a long distance relationship >Dont want to tell her how i feel because it would break her heart and it would make things at work really awkward What the f--- do i do?

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Anon is back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----

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Prayers for this madlad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)01:13:55 No.2075703 »2075650 This behavior is borderline Sigma >goes to Afghanistan right when the LCAME Taliban is taking over >openly walks the streets and has no care in the world 31 KB JPG >is hanging out in a city that is about to become the 21st century equivalent of Saigon >posts his picture AND his entire name on 4chan, a site notorious for punishing those that breach the enforced anonymity >gives zero f---- about all caution or advice contrary to his own plans Miles, you are a f------ madlad and I really wish you all the best. I hope if I see you on the news, it will be about how you managed a daring escape from the clutches of the Taliban. If you die, you will die a legend, but if you live, you will return to civilization as a hero. >>2075790 #

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Anon loves his dog Rusty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)21:02:00 No.221083 >have to leave town for a week >leave Rusty at parents' place >come back next week >Rusty is so excited to see me he jumps into my arms I love Rusty and it warms my heart he loves me too

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The what now?!? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)14:44:07 No.861088347 >dad found the piss freezer OD 4 KB JPG

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 No.52625171 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily 21 KB PNG >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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Anon’s resident ghost | /r/Greentext

Fapping with a ghost >been about 69% percent sure my room is haunted >literally just my room, not the rest of the trailer >heard a whisper right next to my ear once, couldn't make out what it said >see a few shadows in plain sight, not those "out of the corner of my eye" things >pretty sure I saw an imprint just produce in front of my eyes once, right on my bed. The blankets kinda depressed downwards, and logic dictates wind doesn't happen indoors >be right now >dark room, lights off, night time >single candle that smells like a red Tootsie pop, feelsgoodman >wanna fap >nervous that the ghost is watching that I'm still only 68% sure exists Should I just do it, lads? Do I fap in front of the ghost and have it silently judge me, or settle for the cold porcelain seat in my bathroom? Anonymous| 34900285 1 hr. ago Kill the ghost with your semen space ranger Anonymous | 34900295 1 hr. ago F--- the ghost, dumbass.

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Anon finds hope in life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)17:27:23 No.64988823 >be me >19 yo hugless virgin >mentally f----- after years of loneliness, self esteem ruined from being called s--- at school, hate myself with passion >one day qt3.14 groupmate I had a crush on says I look like some 8 KB JPG singer >google him, looks like a f------ idiot >"Is that an insult?" >she starts laughing "No, it's not" >think she hates me, tell my online friend later >"Bro, she wants to f--- you, text her" >w-- she compared me to some clown no >starts spamming me to text her, calls me like 20 different slurs >get done with his s--- after an hour, text her with "Alright, let it be a compliment" so my friend f---- off >we start dating a week later >still my girlfriend after almost three months >mfw I would've been single cause of my retardation if my friend didn't bully me into texting a girl

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Slavanon tells American students how to eat cheap | /r/Greentext

: SŁAWOMIR KERJA 08/14/21(Sat)18:34:26 No.16552883 ALRIGHT S----- AMERICAN DOGS. BUCKLE F--- UP, THIS SLAV HERE LIVE ON ~40$ A MONTH FOR FOOD FOR 2 YEARS STRAIGHT PREREQUISITES: >FAMILY IN THE VILLAGE, IF NOT DO STEAL >ALL TOOL AVAILABLE ALREADY >>b-but what if I don't ha- HAMMER + STOLEN ROADSIDE SHEET METAL + SHARP ROCK MAKE PAN/WOK/POT F--- YOU. BOIL WATER IN ONCE TO KILL TETANUS. FOOD: >YOU ONLY NEED 2000 CALORIES PER DAY, EAT IN 1 MEAL FORGET ALL OTHER MEAL EAT 1 PER DAY IF YOU EAT MORE WHEN STUDENT AND NOT WORKING YOU TURN INTO FAT F--- >BUY BIGGEST AMOUNT POSSIBLE FOR FIRST PURCHASE TO GET SCALE DISCOUNT >20KG SACK OF RICE CHEAPEST AVAILABLE (USE SURPLUS INTO NEXT MONTH, RATION) >2 POTATO FOR 1 DAY FOOD RATION 62 IN 1 MONTH, SURPLUS INTO NEXT MONTH DEPEND OF SIZE OF SACK. AGAIN CHEAPEST >CHEAPEST BEAN CAN YOU CAN FIND 1/4 CAN PER DAY INTO FOOD RATION >APPLE FOR VITAMIN AND ALCOHOL, PICK UP FROM APPLE TREES IN YOUR AREA S--- IS FREE. IF WANT TO KNOW HOW MAKE APPLE ALCOHOL F--- YOU USE YANDEX >AS MUCH S--- AS YOU CAN FORAGE, NO MATTER WHAT EAT IF CAN EAT DO EAT. HOW COOK: >THROW RICE INTO POT AND BOIL UNTIL READY >THROW POTATOS INTO SECOND POT AND BOIL UNTIL READY >THROW S--- ALL TOGETHER INTO BIG POT AND MIX WITH BEAN AND APPLE AND FOUND S--- WHEN FORAGING UNTIL GOOD MIX DONE >EAT >>16554198 # : SŁAWOMIR KERJA 08/14/21(Sat)18:55:05 No.16552976 HERE A MORE SOPHISTICATED RECIPE I LIKED TO MAKE INGERIDIENT OF: >PIGEON EGGS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN FIND >MUSHROOMS FROM FOREST NEAR TOWN, DRIED, LAWS FORBID COLLECTION BECAUSE CHERNOBYL RADIATION BUT NOT GIVE F---, LIVE THEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN LIVE LATER >CARROTS I STOLE FROM FARMERS IN NIGHT AND CARROT FROM FAMILY IN VILLAGE >POTATO STOLEN AND FROM VILLAGE >BLACK PEPPER I SHOPLIFTED WHEN BUYING RICE AND POTATO AND BEANS >RICE >BEANS >CANNED PAPRYKA (RARE TREAT) HOW OF: >CUT INTO PIECES AND THROW VEGETABLE S--- AND MUSHROOM ALL ONTO BAKING SHEET >ADD WATER FOR RICE TO BOIL >BREAK EGGS ONTO >SEASON WITH BLACK PEPPER AND SALT IF HAVE >MIX WELL >PUT IN OVEN IF NOT HAVE OVEN GO OUTSIDE AND MAKE A BIG FIRE, TAKE TRASHCAN, PUT HORIZONTAL, THROW TRASH OUT OF IT, PUT IN YOUR METAL SHEET WITH FOOD ON IT AND CLOSE LID, PUT ON BIG FIRE YOU MAKE AND WAIT UNTIL DONE >TAKE FOOD OUT OF TRASHCAN AND ENJOY KINGS MEAL >>16554198 #

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